going away when DSS is potentially here for a week

[FaithLoveandGrace]

Hi all,

We have DSS every other weekend and half the holidays - which seems to be a standard arrangement. For the summer hols we have every other week, generally monday - monday. There's a conference I'd like to go to which happens to fall in the Summer holidays and will mean going up on the Sunday night and coming back late Friday. I know many people would say it's not my problem DSS being here but I love spending time with him and hate the idea of being away for a week when he's actually here. It's one thing me being in work Monday - Friday whilst he's here, it's another being miles away and so only getting to see him on the Saturday and Sunday - when I'll be washed out and exhausted after the week away. AIBU to ask DP to try to arrange the weeks such that DSS is with his Mum that week? I need to book the conference asap but I know DP and DSS's Mum won't sort out summer holidays until around June next year!

Good idea. Surely is better for everyone to know well in advance anyway to make plans.

I can't see anything wrong with that plan at all unless the mum
Is difficult and would say no just to spite you.

Absolutely fine to ask. As long as you're OK about her saying no if she does have plans.

They never plan anything this far in advance. Last year they arranged about a week before the summer hols as every time DP asked she just said we'll sort it another time. Hoping I can get DP to enquire soon to at least find out if it's a possibility.

Peso as far as mum's concerned I'm nothing to do with DSS so she could well say no out of spite. I wonder if there's anything DP can say to make it seem like it's for his benefit and not mine...

I wonder if there's anything DP can say to make it seem like it's for his benefit and not mine - I'd suggest that you're planning take DSS away on a bit of a holiday for at least some of the time - so best he comes the week that suits.
Or else just be really vague along the lines of "XX week doesn't suite me as well next summer - could we swap for YY week"

It's fair enough really - presumably your DP only gets so much annual leave - so if he takes it with DSS when you're working he'll have less left that you can all spend together.

Turns out DSS's mum is away with the kids the week I'm away which is good for us. Have actually sorted dates now which has to be a record - in the three years we've been together they've never sorted dates this far in advance!