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Step-parenting

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advise on 16 year old step daughter

2 replies

lerny147 · 26/10/2014 17:51

hello there , I met my husband knowing he had a child , we got custdy of his daughter when she was 5 every thing was great until she was about 10 she started becoming distant towards me , I would ask her father to help he just says its between me and her so on a lot and I mean a lot of occasions I have had a chat with her to ask why she doing it , she just shrugs her shoulders and says I don't know and walk away . well now she is 16 and things have got a whole lot worse she will not talk to me at all and if she does something wrong (ie caught her smoking) I will tell her off (like I would my own children) however if I tell her off she will secretly messege her dad and tell him I was screaming at her and I make her feel not wanted . I treat her no different from my other kids ( 9, 10 , 12 ) I just don't know what I have done wrong and why she is suddenly giving me the cold shoulder can anyone give me advise and im slowly sinking and feeling really hurt ...
she doesn't see her birth mum she hasn't since she was 5 ( thts her mums choice )

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 26/10/2014 22:00

I would guess that it is pent up issues surrounding her own mum. your partner needs to stop being a prick and start intervening.

she is also being typical 16 year old ime. I don't think I spoke to either of my parents much at that age

Wdigin2this · 20/03/2015 10:02

Just came across this post and it struck cords! In fairness, girls aged 12 to 16 are pretty difficult, but this is more of a problem for you as SM. Her father cannot just abdicate all responsibility for her behaviour towards you, that's outrageously unfair not to say plain stupid! I'd sit him down and say, either you come on board with this or I totally disengage, and you're on your own with her!

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