Not sure I can do this anymore :-(

[HrochBear]

Last night dp brought his 17 and 19 year old boys. Eldest immediately look over the entire living room with guitars, amplifiers and play station 3 and language such as "get out if the way you fucking ballsack" and "Jesus what a fucking nob" directed at the tv to which dp doesn't acknowledge. I stayed out of the way until 7.30pm and then went in and said I'd like to put a bit of tv on and relax. I'd been at work all week, really stressful week and I just wanted wine and my sofa. Well dp went mad, accused me of hating his kids, making them feel unwelcome, I'm selfish, out of order and nasty. He wouldn't talk to me all night and even suggested we split up if I can't "accept his kids".

Every weekend I feel unwanted and lost in my own home. I no longer look forward to weekends. Not sure I can do it any longer :-(

Family room, is for family use. I am assuming they have a room they sleep in can they not go in there.

Well it's quite clear where his children get their delightful attitude from!

I don't think I'd want to do that anymore either. Ditch the lot of them. Life's too short...

I'm with your dp, I think you probably should split up, not because you hate his kids, but because he's allowing them to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Nobody should have to put up with that and if he's not willing to keep them in line when they're with you and subsequently gets huffy and rude to you, I'd LTB. They may be teenagers so a bit past putting them on the naughty step for bad language, but if it's unacceptable to you to have them casually swearing and if they are all so inconsiderate of you when they are together, I'd leave them to it.

What is your DP like the rest of the time? Is it even worth talking to him about his attitude or is it a case of put up and shut up?

I wouldn't be hanging around to have that in my own home. Who owns the house, you, "D"P or jointly.
It's not going to get any better, the "boys" are actually grown men now.

I just go to bed and get away from the situation. Yep officially a coward here as they can't get me in dream land.

DP needs to tell his grown men 'children' to show you some respect. Not only is it not acceptable for you, but it's not setting them up for very good relationships down the line.

I'm a pretty easy going person but there would have been a point I would have snapped 'shift your *!^$ from in front of the telly I worked all day paying for please!'.

It's hard being a step parent. Often my DP stops and just says to me, thankyou so much, I'm so lucky to have you. TBH if they didn't, why would you bother? It just makes you some sort of unpaid lacky is you are effectively paying to put a roof over their heads and care for someone else's kids.

This is an oldish post, but I was trawling and noticed it...I just hope that by now, the OP has packed up, sold up and got up...and out of there!!

I totally understand how difficult it is being a step-parent too. My partner always seems to defend them when-ever I have an opinion on something, especially when it comes to the SS, but that's another story completely.

I certainly wouldn't allow them to take over the living room like that, I was brought up that way too. The living room was a place for Mum and Dad, my bedroom was for dossing in with friends.