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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Am I overreacting...

10 replies

Gettingmeback · 20/07/2014 12:32

When DSD 9 yrs old got her Ipad, DH and I discussed it and agreed that he would load anything she needed onto it games etc. but she wouldn't be connected to the internet. Today, I put the Ipad on the charger and she has full internet access and has downloaded the YouTube app! I'm furious that he thinks this is appropriate. She spends a lot of unsupervised time on it, I thought she was playing games! Any thoughts greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Onesleeptillwembley · 20/07/2014 12:33

Yes. Supervise your child!

isthisanacidtest · 20/07/2014 12:35

If you're going to give a 9 year old an Ipad you need to be supervising them.

How does your DH feel about it?

Original poster

Gettingmeback · 20/07/2014 12:38

He's at work. I've tried calling him back haven't spoken to him yet. I have sent him a text about it which is probably why he hasn't called because he's knows I'm not happy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Gettingmeback · 20/07/2014 12:41

Thank you both for replying. I know he'll try and make out she's only been on it today but I know that's not true.

OP posts:

isthisanacidtest · 20/07/2014 12:45

Well, the issue is what your DH and you do about it going forward?

As in, is he happy to go with what you and he discussed, or was he just agreeing to shut you up (which is what my ex used to do!)

Girlwithnotattoos · 20/07/2014 12:45

They all want you tube so you need to watch what she's looking at and make sure you set the parental controls.

Original poster

Gettingmeback · 20/07/2014 13:09

isthis that's what concerns me. We have many examples of him appearing that we are on the same page about issues and then no follow through. I feel like with this issue there's very little room for difference of opinion because we're talking about children's exposure to material that can have huge negative effects.

Ok just spoke with him. The excuse is some games need internet access. WTF. I asked about her accessing YouTube which I know he knew about. He had no answer. Just said ok I'll turn it off. And got shitty with me and hung up on me.

OP posts:

purpleroses · 20/07/2014 14:23

Of she's going to have internet access them you should get some parental software installed. You can have various levels of things blocked. We have teens so ours just blocks porn and illegal downloads I think. But you can set it to block YouTube, social networking etc if you want. I think you do have to feel your way with kids and the internet. Giving a 9 year old no access at all will probably restrict what she gets out of it quite a lot. Though if you agreed to something together he should consult you before reneging on it.

fedupbutfine · 20/07/2014 17:44

if I remember correctly, the ipad came fully loaded with the basics such as Youtube...could be wrong.

I only allow mine to use the ipad in the same room as me so I can hear what they are watching....it has been interesting at times but they have learnt and have a better understanding of what might not be suitable for them now - this includes, for example, understanding that just because it looks like it's a child's film, doesn't make it so. At some level, you need to be teaching them to police themselves, perhaps? It works for us, anyway.

Happybeard · 20/07/2014 22:15

Sounds like he's agreed with you to keep you happy, then gone ahead and put internet on there because A, he's scared of not giving dd what she wants and B, wasn't really behind the idea in the first place.

I'd detach if I were you. I he doesn't care what she watches, why do you?

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