Anyone else walking on eggshells when SDCS are around?

[whilewildeisonmine]

Argh! I can't say anything. Whatever I say, however I say it, it is wrong. But if I don't say anything I'm being bitchy.

At 4am I made the mistake of suggesting 10 year old DSS read a book to get back to sleep instead of calling for DP... You'd think I had suggested he dangle him out of the window with the reaction I got.

Sounds rubbish! What's he up at 4am for? If it's the heat then hopefully this isn't a recurring problem.

Who says you're being bitchy? Your dp or the kids?

DP thinks I'm being bitchy if I don't say anything, but is quick to take offence if I say what he considers to the wrong thing so I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't! This morning just took the biscuit though! We have a 2 year old and a 7 month old so are used to being woken regularly through the night and I'm sure I've uttered far worse about the younger ones than 'can he read his book for a while?'

Maybe you and dp should have a sit down at some point and talk about the importance of a united front. His kids so he should take the lead on this, but he should also back you up. The kids won't benefit from the two of you bickering about what you should be saying/not saying.

Does he have a problem with how you deal with your own dc?

Oh we've had that discussion many times! He agrees that we should be a united front and they should follow our rules but these serious conversations take place when they're not here. When they are here it all seems to be forgotten about and he's running around after them like their servant again!

He doesn't seem to have a problem with the way I parent mine! I'm allowed to be frustrated with them sometimes, just never his older DC even though he is allowed to.

It's just frustrating, they come here and practically take over. I'm expected to cook and clean after them as I would with my own DC, do their laundry, often cancelling my own plans so that DP can spend time doing things with just them and so can't look after the babies, yet it's unacceptable for me to even mention if I'm frustrated with them for any reason.

I'm far more strict with the 2 year old but that's acceptable?!