Glorified babysitter rides out of town.......

[truthwithin]

Bit of a megarant pre-story. Sorry.
After 3 yrs together DP has actually listened to my advice & spent time with DSD10 alone. I have created a monster.

DP now considers every access weekend as though the queen were visiting. Dsd10 is NOT allowed to hear the word no, must only be fed whatever she requests, and must always be taken out alone for breakfast,McDonalds, lunch & dinner + desserts & made to be so special, that she can gloat to DD4 & make her cry. DD4 can't understand why she is left out. She has known DP since she was a baby and it's almost as if he ignores her.

If I'm out of house & DSD10 wants DD4's Easter egg. That's OK according to DP as DD4 doesn't eat that much chocolate anyway.

If DSD10 wants to play on DD4's tablet & download inappropriate items; even though I have told her to ask first.....that's fine.

If I have to pay for not only my children but yours to go on holiday, that's great....even though it cost an extra room.

Anyway, happy day...I am going away tomorrow with just Ds15 & Dd4. 4 days of bliss!

DP is pissed off nobody else is invited, esp DSD10. I'm really looking forward to spending time with my own kids.

I do feel kind of bad that DP has no idea what to do with DSD10, I don't really see why I should continue to suggest activities for them, when my own kids are sat at home waiting for them to get back.

Who owns the house? How long have you each lived there?

Where exactly have I bullied or harassed the OP brdgrl? I have addressed others on this thread, but the OP, who is actually the one with the problem here, I have been supportive towards.

As for YOUR step kids, I neither know nor care about your life situation

So please stop inferring I am here taking issues with SM in general, I don't, only with some of the things said on this thread.

OP from what you write, I think it sounds as though he has done areal number on you over the time you've been together, just as he is with his poor dd. I wonder if you are caught in what's known as FOG - fear, obligation, guilt towards him? This is common in abusive relationships, which this most definitely is! And can make you feel paralysed and trapped. The fact that you seem to feel obligated towards him and that you should give him money and pay for him and his dc suggests this to me even though his behaviour has been beyond the pale.

I know the "relationships" board sometimes gets bad press but the time to LTB has most definitely arrived and you'll find so many over there who have been through this kind of thing and can help guide you practically.

As for the dog? I would prepare yourself for a battle over that as at the moment he is angry that he is losing control over you and the shared dog will be somewhere he will be trying to gain ground and get one over on you. Watch out for that.

At least you and your dc have an out no matter how difficult that seems at the moment. His poor dd is stuck with him forever and you are already seeing the fruits of that.

I think he needs to go now. He probably thinks during the month he'll wear you down

Hope he's done the sensible thing and left now. Poor dog.

Bit late to the table aren't you? It had all calmed down as far as I could see. I've been a step parent and I have had a step parent. I feel most qualified to comment on these threads thanks. I don't usually but this one appeared on most active for some reason when it first started.

And once again may I point out the OP received only support from me. Please do read the thread and notice the only issue I had was with the child of a really terrible, probably abusive parent being called "stupid". Brdgrl became most attacking towards me and repeatedly defended the right to use that word, which I did and still do find disgusting.

Why does it matter when I "come to the table"?

You have attacked two posters most unnecessarily. Whether you agree or not with their comments is irrelevant but they are entitled to them and to state them just as you are WITHOUT being attacked relentlessly by some ridiculous person on a power trip

Tell me exactly what I have said that it is attacking, because it's been said a couple of times now and yet no one seems to be able to quote anything attacking that I have actually said

Anywhere else on the boards you'd be roasted for calling a child stupid. Why is it absolutely fine here? What makes you so different?

Read your posts they are pretty much all attacking either happy or brdgrl

No one called the child stupid to its face. Happy used it as a term to describe how she felt the child's behaviour came across. She is allowed her opinion and you are allowed to disagree but youbhave not allowed to go on about on every post just because everyone else doesn't agree with your pov

I've had an issue with a child being called stupid and I have said so, when posters have defended it I have replied and reiterated why it's not ok. I actually am allowed to do that, I don't actually have to stop posting and agree it's ok because "well known" posters on this board tell me too.

Again, please quote my attacks.

I've read my posts too and I think I gave the OP some good advice, hopefully she's taken it and gone over to another board where they don't obsess about a child,in a crap situations, "stupid" behaviour and actually focus on doing something practical to end the relationship and for the OP to remove the children she is able to from such a damaging situation.

Where did i say you had to agree it was ok?? I said you are entitled to your opinion but nit to keep bleating on.

You are a very antagonistic poster, perhaps you should address why that is

Well I had left this thread but YOU mentioned me so here I am . Just as earlier in the thread any time anyone replied to me I responded to them. The impression I am getting is that I shouldn't be doing that. That posters can respond to me aggressively and tell me to piss off and if I won't agree with them and/or "piss off" as instructed. I will be labelled attacking and antagonistic.

Not sure if you're aware but that's the forums work, people reply to each other and reiterate their argument during discussions. However it seems to be different on this board unless you're willing to toe the party line.

bleating on
exactly

Yes, truth, any update?

wheres, it must be something in the water. DD never had sleep issues before, but now she's up all evening playing in her bed, and exhausted all day.

I tell you what, don't mention me again and I won't feel the need to come back here and remind you how horrible it is to call a young girl stuck in an abusive situation completely out of her control, nasty names. How about that? I am more than happy to leave this nasty thread, in fact I already had

Best wishes to the OP and ALL the children involved, especially the one who will remain stuck in they situation suffering at the whims of her horrible father.

I don't understand. Does MN send a bat-signal up into the air when a person is mentioned?

You can't "remind" us of something we don't believe, but anyway, good luck. There are a lot of threads on MN which could use some intercession (won't somebody think of the children?), so I am sure you'll have your work cut out for you.

Little moo has taken to going down at 730-8 amd then waking at midnight and not going back down til gone 3am and then getting uo at 6 and then refusing all naps all day and then spending 2-3 hours crying and screaming at night cos she is so tired.

Dp has been at work all week due to cock ups so I have been flying solo with her not sleeping and the dsc's being little gits. I hate getting the second half of the holiday week cos their mother has no idea on discipline so they come to us and expect to be waited on hand and foot and to get away with being rude, ungrateful, selfish and lazy. really glad that we have them for the first half of the summer holidays!!