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Step-parenting

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Is this a selfish/unreasonable request

52 replies

Aroundtheworldandback · 22/03/2014 21:33

Dss is 19 lives with us full time but will not communicate with me in any way- lives like a lodger eating apart from family. Was not ow, he has not been willing to give dh a reason for his behaviour other than he 'doesn't like me'.

Have told dh that I do not not feel respected by him (dh) on the occasion when the three of us are in the kitchen and he carries on talking to dss as if nothing were going on. He bends over backwards in every possible way for dss, and I've told him in a situation where dss is ignoring me, I expect him not to carry on chatting away, childish as that probably is of me.

The bottom line is he has never parented dss with discipline or consequences as dss went no communicado for six months once and dh will not let that happen again.

Luckily there is enough room in the house for dss and I not to tread on eachother's toes but it's the obvious lack of respect from dh that is my problem. I have even gone as far as to tell dh he should say to dss "If you can't respect my wife you should be living elsewhere".

Our relationship otherwise is great. Sorry for the rant.. Any opinions?

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldandback · 06/04/2014 22:18

Thanks Puffin I think you must be a nicer person than me in that i just can't bring myself to be smiley and friendly to an adult who just won't acknowledge me and will not give a reason for it.

Does your dh consult you before giving him money so a joint decision? I will definitely look into the second wives club, thanks

OP posts:
puffinnuffin · 07/04/2014 14:36

No- definately not a nicer person! I just came to the conclusion that the only one it directly upsets is me. This is what YSS wants so best not let him see that it upsets me. Also that way I can't be accused of doing anything to upset YSS.

DH doesn't consult me about money for his sons- I feel it's not really my place and prefer to keep out of that side as long as our children together are treated fairly (which they are).

One really good bit of advice I was given years ago was that you can't change how someone behaves towards you but you can change how you react to it. Fake it till you make it!

Good luck OP- things can change and get better as I have seen with my ESS.

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