i have this scary theory....

[MsColour]

.....that dp's ex can't really cope without dp. Even if it's only negative attention she gets from him by being difficult, she seems to need attention.

She has said some strange things in the past. About a year and a half ago she made a comment to dp of "...but you promised you'd always be there for me." He did point out that this was before they got divorced. Then she sent him a text a few months back before we moved in that she felt angry with him as they never had a second child and now he's with me and family with me and my kids. She kicked him out because he was depressed. I sometimes think that now he is back to himself she misses him. She has someone else but they never seem happy.

So i'm getting fed up with her really. I am so fed up with her constant texting and struggle to stop it affecting how I feel about dss.

You're spending too much time thinking about what she us thinking & feeling
Try to concentrate in what dp is saying & doing instead

He tries to be business like etc. (like you're meant to be). She uses a lot of emotive language to try and get her own way.

MsColour it sounds like you feel unsure and maybe insecure about the situation - the difficulty is that your OH has to keep in touch with her due to their shared DC's.

All I can suggest is that you try not to focus too much attention on that situation so that it does not eat away at you and your relationship with your OH. I am saying that as someone who also has had to detach big-time from my DH's ex, mainly because her behaviour at one time was so obnoxious it was affecting me badly and took up far too much of my head-space Now there is distance between us, my DSS is older and so is more able to move freely between his two homes, it makes a big - no, a massive - difference.

It takes a lot to emotionally detach but it is worth the effort, I promise.