Christmas & DSC

[mumtobealloveragain]

Just wanted to see what others do in similar situations to ours ..

We have all our 6 kids here for Xmas day:

My two DSC are here for Xmas morning and will go to their mums for Xmas day afternoon. They will get their presents here then a whole load of presents there too a few hours later. So get 2 lots of presents in succession.

Two of my children will see their dad on Boxing Day and will get a few presents there but not many. My eldest doesn't have a second parent so no second lots of presents and our youngest is mine and DP's so again no 2nd lot of presents either.

DP is insisting everyone has the same amount of presents. I pointed out that his 2 children will have their second round of presents immediately after opening the first lot and therefore I won't feel guilty if the other children have more here as they all know DSC will be off to their mums for round 2 and they will obviously tell us all about their presents there once they get back. DSC have 2 parents who both buy them lots of presents, my eldest especially only has me to do that but DP insists it's only what is here in our house that counts.

We don't spoil any of them by the way and don't go over the too with pressies on numbers or money, and none of the kids has complained or anything- I just wanted to see how everyone else does it?

I have a DSD and a younger DS who is both mine and DH's. I understand where your coming from, but in a way I think your DP is right, it does only matter what goes on in your house as the kids won't think like you do. they will prob just see what you are getting them compared to their siblings/step-siblings and not realise you get them less as they are having other presents elsewhere (unless you are going to explain obviously).

my DSD will get spoilt rotten on Christmas from her mums side of the family, but she won't get any less here with me and my DH compared to our DS. we spend the same amount of money on both of them so depending on how expensive the presents, obviously the amount of presents will vary, as after all they are both DH's children and he wouldn't want his DD thinking he favoured DS over her,and I love her very much and don't begrudge us spending the money on her in the slightest.

but everyone does things differently so you have to do things in your house the way it suits you

You can only control what goes on in your house, not your dsc mum's house or your ex's house. I would give equal presents to all 6 kids at your house. Presumably anything your dscs receive from their mum and anything your middle two get from their dad will stay in those houses? If your eldest is upset, you will have to address that when it arises. I don't know how old your youngest is but am presuming young enough to not realise re quantities?

very similar to op, me and dp have 6 dc between us.
the 2 dsc will hav a seconds xmas day with huge lot of presents all over again, my 3 ds's with dad boxing day and get lots pressies.
my dd14 only has me, her father is an alcoholic nasty peice if work, never sends a card let alone presents.

on boxing day, wen all other kids r with there other parent my dd will b spoilt, get extra presents.

dp completly supports me in this

can it not be equal in the morning and then when the rest ship off you have an extra few gifts for your eldest and youngest?

then when the others come back everyone can talk about what else they got and no one is left out?

I agree with the person who said you can only control your household. Keep that fair and the rest is a consequence of different circumstances. You can't make everything equal for everyone. Life isn't like that.

The same presents for everyone on Christmas morning and them some extra presents as a surprise for your eldest when she's alone with you on Boxing Day.