Taking dsd with me and ds abroad on hols

[missymarmite]

I would really like to take my ds away on holiday to Spain. But what ever I do with him, I feel we must include Dsd too, as she lives with us and I'm very find of her. We try as a couple to treat the kids equally. DP is a real home body and isn't interested in travelling. I love travel but haven't been any where for years. So if we went odd are it would be just me with the kids. What are the implications of taking step-children on hols abroad?. Dsd is 11, ds is 10, no court order, everything amicable with dp's ex.

"You feel you must include her" ..... And she lives with u, why wouldn't u take her??

I understand what you mean, your husband isn't going but you want to take your dsd with you and you're concerned that there could be as issue at passport control as she's not your biological child.

I have no idea if there would be an issue but just wanted to clarify before you get jumped on again!

You would need to have signed letters from both DSD's parents giving consent to the holiday, probably with as much additional info as possible (copies of their passports, DCs' birth certificates etc) and make sure the parents are contactable if immigration have any questions. But at age 11, passport control may just ask her who she is travelling with/what your relationship is, and if she tells them and seems comfortable with you, then that should be fine.

This is the official guidance.

My DCs have a different surname to me so aren't identifiably my children from looking at their passports. I've never been questioned though. But as suggested above, to cover yourself, best have a letter signed by both DSD's parents giving permission for her to travel with you.

Leaving your DP at home if he's really not going to enjoy it sounds a good plan. Enjoy your holidays :)

My DCs have a different surname and we have frequently been questioned at passport control, even though one of them looks just like me. I carry birth certificates etc in case, though have only had to actually produce them once or twice.

I've had to explain things at passport control more than once. Dcs have different surnames, both different to mine.

USA last year said I should have something from dd's father to say he gave permission, but did not refuse entry. I told them good luck finding her father as he is in hiding from csa and hasn't been in contact for nearly two years (at that point)

just get byour dh to write a letter of consent.

My dp took my ds to france with him and our ds together and i didnt write a letter so they had to call me from passport control to check it ws ok. Thankfully I answered the phone or he wouldnt have been able to go

Needaholiday - even birth parents get treated with suspicion at airports/Eurostar terminals if they are travelling alone with their children and have different surnames. In fact, I should have mentioned that it is probably a good idea if the OP also gets her DP to give written permission for her to travel with their DS as well.

It's just bureaucracy, it doesn't mean that you should abandon travel plans - people do this stuff every day.

Sounds like your DSD's school needs to look at their procedures, but if you were not on the list of people permitted to pick her up (which is something many schools have these days - it's one of the forms you have to fill in when they start school or at the start of each school year) then it is reasonable for them to want to make checks. They would get into huge trouble if they released a child to someone it later turned out had no right to collect her.

I'm not sure why you feel so upset by it needaholiday - schools and passport people are only doing their job by checking that children can be taken out by people who aren't their parents.

I wouldn't feel embarrassed about taking a DSC on holiday and don't feel it's treating you like a criminal to ask you to prove that you have permission. Schools, etc always require a consent form before they take them on trips - it's not usually a problem for anyone.

Does she want to go on holiday with you? Sounds like her dad is getting a good bargain, can he not be persuaded to go too or use this as an opportunity for one to one time with his DD at home?

You could try renting a cottage and then leaving your DP behind in a "home from home" whilst you head out to expore with DSD and DS.

But I don't think it's that odd a thing just to take the two kids if that's what suits you. I took my DD and DSD to a festival in the summer, leaving my DS behind with DP and his DSs - because our two girls wanted to go to the festival and DP and the boys didn't. We all had a good time.

Yes, exactly. I'd love to take dsd with me, sorry if it sounded like I didn't. I wouldn't feel right going with ds, and not with her. However, I did get accosted at customs a couple of years ago when I went on the ferry to France (this was before I met DP ), and interrogated about ds who is obviously different heritage to me, and they asked about his DF if I had permission etc. I had to tell them his DF was living in another country anyway and good luck trying to chase him down. Luckily they just accepted this, but it makes me worry what response we'll get, ds who is dual heritage, looks nothing like me, and dsd with a different surname! Wouldn't want to pay out for hols only to be turned away at the airport. Thanks for your advice.

Didn't know if it would be necessary to have some kind of solicitors letter or something but sounds like a letter from parents will do!