Couples counselling - anyone done it? Did it help?

[louby44]

My DP and I have been together 6 years after Christmas. We have 4 kids between us! He has 2 girls (the eldest 2) and I have 2 boys.

We have a nice house, good standard of living and our kids have mainly always got along. The kids are now 15, 13, 13 & 10.

How we parent the kids has been the only thing we argue/disagree about. He is quite strict whereas I am more easy going. He has higher expectations than me and because I work with kids as a teacher I think I'm more tolerant.

I've arranged a counselling session for us as I think it would help us deal with the DC better and help our relationship too. The first session is free but after that it's £60 for an hour, so not cheap. He's willing to go but I don't think he's 100% convinced it will help.

Has anyone done it? How did it help?

Its good as long as everybody is honest.
Its a safe environment to talk and if the counselor is a good mediator than it encourages a healthy, open atmosphere.
Good luck

watch 'the couples retreat'

very funny and some thought provoking stuff.

My tip would be talk about expectations before you go, or make sure it's covered in your first session. Make sure you both listen to what you each want to get out of it.

All good points thanks.

I know it won't work miracles but I just don't want it to turn into a moaning session where we both pick out each others faults.

Although, I suppose there will be some of that!

I did it with my DP and it was great. He has 2 DDs. The counselling reminded us that we're better working together and it reminded us both how much we like each other. I thought we'd spend an hour each week moaning about each other but we didn't. Having an independent 3rd party there just helped us to filter out the stuff that didn't matter (which we were both getting hung up on) and concentrate on the stuff that did matter.
I think it worked for us because our relationship is pretty solid (we'd also been together 6 years). I hope it works for you too.

Thanks Heidi. We have a pretty solid relationship too so fingers crossed!