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Step-parenting

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Original poster

How often do you have your dsc?

24 replies

Tittypulumpcious · 21/07/2013 19:44

I'm curious as to how often people have their dsc or if they have full custody.

We have dh dd 3 full days & nights plus 1 day until evening.

Sometimes I wish it was every other weekend but part of the reason I fell in love with him was his commitment to his child. If only I'd have had super duper look into the future powers then!

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wrinklyraisin · 21/07/2013 19:56

We are scheduled to have her every other weekend, plus 2 nights a week. In reality, we have her way more than that. I don't mind at all, and she prefers it with us anyway.

needaholidaynow · 21/07/2013 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleroses · 21/07/2013 20:58

We have them every weekend normally. My own DCs are with us in the week, so we very rarely get any time without DCs, despite having no joint ones.

It's kind of easier in a way though - routines are easier, kids are always in the same place each day of the week, and it's never very long without them. I think DP would find EOW a long gap without them, and he works long hours in the week so couldn't really see much of them then.

This weekend however DSC have been off on holiday with their mum, and mine at their dad's so we've had a very rare weekend at home with just the two of us. It's been lovely :)

WakeyCakey · 21/07/2013 21:07

Mondays and Wednesdays until 9pm and Friday staying over and all day Saturday.

Used to stay on all those nights but when DSD started senior school she had a real issue with leaving certain things for homework at ours or her mums so opted to go back to her mums to sleep so she knew all her school stuff was in the same place.

I really miss her staying all 3 nights a week but was very proud of her for making a decision to change her nights herself.

She does occasionally decide to come around and announce she's staying which is always absolutely fine by me!

theredhen · 21/07/2013 21:28

Dsd2 lives with us and sees mum 2 nights a week, one of which she sleeps over.

others are every other weekend after school til school drop off on Monday and one night from school til school drop off in the week.

Plus over 5 weeks of the school holidays.

PrettyPaperweight · 21/07/2013 22:56

DSS (10) has a very bizarre unusual contact schedule - he's here six nights every three weeks Thurs to Weds, which continues throughout the year regardless of school holidays except summer hols when he has three straight weeks here.

DSD (16) rarely stays (one night in the last 3 years and only because she was home alone and being threatened over the Internet) and pops in as and when she feels like it.

In contrast, DD spends alternate weeks here, 7 days here, then 7 with her Dad.

I tell people that we have DCs on timeshare!!!

ISuggestYouGoBackThere · 22/07/2013 12:32

How do people feel if they are having the dsc when the dc are at their nrp's house? Does this work out ok?

purpleroses · 22/07/2013 12:36

ISuggest - we have a mixture. My DCs go to their dad's EOW and DSC come to us every weekend. I found it a bit odd at first having just the DSC, but actually it gives them some time with their dad without mine being around, and also gives me a bit more chance to relate to them directly without worrying about upsetting my DD who can get quite jealous of me doing stuff with DSC. I try to avoid doing things with them that my DCs would particularly be sorry to miss out on, though sometimes that's unavoidable. They missed DSD's birthday party recently which was a shame as they'd have loved it.

Kaluki · 22/07/2013 12:55

We have DSC EOW and for the evening on the Friday in between visits and a week at Christmas, a week at Easter and 2 weeks in the Summer.
My DC go to their Dad's EOW (same weekend as DSC are at their Mums so we do get a weekend off) and every Friday night in between but this is a lot more flexible and not court ordered.
I used to find it hard when my DSC were in the house when my own dc were at their Dad's but I am used to it now. I use that time to do my own thing with my friends and let DP have time on his own with them which is good for them all I think.

brdgrl · 22/07/2013 13:06

24/7/365 days a year.

Dejected · 22/07/2013 20:48

Every weekend his children, every day mine.

mustbemad01 · 22/07/2013 22:51

We have his children over one night a week.

PrettyPaperweight · 22/07/2013 23:02

How do people feel if they are having the dsc when the dc are at their nrp's house? Does this work out ok?

Until about a year ago, My DSS and DD were inseparable and if DSS was here on the odd occasion when DD wasn't, he'd mope about like a lost soul!
When DD moved schools, they drifted apart naturally, so when DSS contact schedule changed to what we have now it didn't have a huge impact on them.

Now we get the best of both worlds - DSS is sometimes here on his own; he and DP do there own thing and I get me time, sometimes DDs here on her own and everything's a bit more "grownup", they still get the odd weekend together and DP and I still have the occasional child-free weekend!

anklebitersmum · 24/07/2013 16:28

We have DSS alternatively for Christmas and New Year, two weeks at Easter, half of summer hols and a half term.

Wish it was more but distance makes that impossible unfortunately.

wiganwagonwheelworks · 25/07/2013 10:58

DH is the RP, so DSS lives with us and sees his Mum every other weekend.

eslteacher · 25/07/2013 12:04

We have DSS every other weekend from Thurs after school pickup - Monday morning school drop off. There is no court order, its just been worked out by DP and his ex.

The Thursday is a new addition, it used to just be Fri-Mon, but DSS wanted to come over more. Its fine with me except for the fact it means Thurs evenings are quite rushed with getting home from work, picking him up (30m drive away) making dinner, eating, doing hw and getting him to bed at a reasonable hour for school the next day. We are planning to move closer to DSC's school/his mum's house at some point in the next couple of years as it will make life a lot easier.

School holidays are ad hoc, DP and his ex just work it out between them holiday by holiday. We're in France, where its standard practice for children to be shipped off to GPs for weeks on end. Which is where DSS is now, at DP's parents.

emilyeggs · 25/07/2013 12:56

We have them Friday to Sunday eow, and a week in the summer DH would like to move closer so we can have them more but has to stay where the work (that pays for everything) is

Petal02 · 25/07/2013 13:28

For years it was a very strict 4pm Thurs-6pm Sun EOW pattern, with a Weds night stay on the weeks when DSS wasn't spending the weekend with us.

However now that DSS can drive, we have a 2 overnight stays per week arrangement, and we no longer have to stick to the same nights each week, we try and work it around everyone's plans.

Xalla · 26/07/2013 12:18

Usually 50/50 in a week on / week off arrangement but DSD is with us for 4 weeks straight atm for the summer hols. It's hard. No pretending otherwise. I have sent her and my DS to a kids club today for a break!

Petal02 · 26/07/2013 16:52

Four weeks straight????? That's not funny.

NachoAddict · 26/07/2013 21:39

Every weekend Fri till Sunday at least. Will be Thursda to Sunday over the holidays.

Hobnobgoblin · 26/07/2013 21:42

So glad someone else said this first.
When dss stays here one week on /off its so much easier.
But it's been 4 weeks now and its getting a bit tense.
Not so much me I feel, it's more dss getting comfortable and speaking his mind more, I.e. airing the fact he'd still prefer dad all to himself (after 4 bleeding years!?!) and reliving the Im sooo special phase of dads famous Disney days which are (nearly ) over.
Sorry, started to ramble a bit...

Hellocleaveland · 28/07/2013 12:49

EOW Saturday morning to Sunday evening. Used to be half of all holidays but now that they are older (14 and 17) they spend more of the holidays at home because they don't need childcare while their mother works. We are having them for a week this summer.

VBisme · 28/07/2013 13:08

Every weekend (fri to Sun night) and 1 night in the week, except when mum needs an additional break when we have them as well. Plus 3 weeks in summer a week each half term.
Never once refused to have them extra nights. They are great kids, DH misses them every day they aren't with him.

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