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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Need to vent

22 replies

Dejected · 12/05/2013 12:57

What is so wrong with having a sandwich for lunch and a hot meal for dinner? My children and I have survived on this basis for years but apparently I'm wrong and the boyfriend's children don't get it. I should be cooking from scratch twice a day for them. They are with us every weekend. Am I so wrong to say no, you are 12 you can make your own lunch? There is bread, there is cheese, there is ham. Boyfriend then gives them money we can't afford to go to subway. Isn't that just a sandwich too????

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry just needed to get that out.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

K8eee · 12/05/2013 15:32

No sounds perfectly normal to me! Isn't that what most kids are fed on when they go to school? Never did me any harm so I think your bf may be over reacting a little. Yeah I think at 12 they're more than capable of making themselves lunch

Original poster

Dejected · 12/05/2013 15:57

Thank you! I was starting to think I was going mad or being a bit cruel. My boys have been making their own lunch (a sandwich) for years.

They ended up getting one of those Rustler burger/sandwich things. Grrrrr!

OP posts:

K8eee · 12/05/2013 16:02

They're devils food!

The furthest I would go for lunch would be egg & soldiers or cheese on toast. Don't worry you're not going mad

taxiforme · 12/05/2013 18:47

I am a short order cook for my dsc at the weekend and they are 13 15 and 17!! It's laughable. Like dejected, left to themselves it's pizza pizza or pizza. Garnished with a bag of crisps. And don't get me started on the clearing up..lack of it.

Original poster

Dejected · 12/05/2013 21:13

Yes they would have crisps for breakfast if I wasn't such a witch I won't let them! And the mess they make is unbelievable. I wouldn't mind so much but they scraped half of the dinner (lasagne and peas) I made for them before they went home in the bin

OP posts:

theredhen · 12/05/2013 21:45

You're not the only one. My dsc dont want to have cereal for breakfast or a sandwich for lunch. They want beans on toast or a fry up for breakfast or last nights leftover dinner, fish fingers, pizza, oven chips for lunch, full dinner in the evening.

I was brought up to have cereal or toast for breakfast, sandwich or maybe something on toast / soup for lunch with a proper dinner in the evening. Apparently I'm weird!

Original poster

Dejected · 12/05/2013 22:12

Oh it does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one who thinks a sandwich for lunch is not neglect or cruelty

OP posts:

theredhen · 12/05/2013 22:21

A sandwich is cheap and easy. What dsc want isn't. At least mine manage to make it themselves, although they leave all the clearing up for dp.

Booyhoo · 12/05/2013 22:26

why does he let them eat like that? and why are you living with him and cooking al the meals for his children? doesn't he look after them?

at 12 they should be pitching in with meals!

Booyhoo · 12/05/2013 22:28

they should have the same meals as the rest of the family.

purpleroses · 13/05/2013 08:11

Perfectly readonable. Have the same problem with DSSs (10 and 14) here with a strange inability to get their own breakfast. DP did agree with me that they should be able to.but nearly a year on they still stand like lemons in the kitchen until one of us says to them "what do you want to eat?... where is it kept? well go and get it then" Every time! So you may need to accept that at first at least they'll need a bit of guidance in the strange and difficult art of sandwich making

Original poster

Dejected · 13/05/2013 08:56

why are you living with him and cooking all the meals for his children?

If I'm cooking for my boys I don't mind making more of the same for his boys. I have never wanted there to be an us and them divide in the house. However, this is happening because they constantly complain about the food I'm making or asking them to make themselves.

Lol purpleroses that's exactly it. They need babying through everything.

OP posts:

lunar1 · 13/05/2013 08:59

What's wrong with you boyfriend, if he wants them to have a hot meal tell him to cook it himself!

buttons99 · 13/05/2013 10:51

Same for us. Cereal or toast for breakfast. A sandwich, soup or maybe beans on toast or bacon buttie for lunch time and cooked meal at tea time.

Strongertogether · 13/05/2013 11:24

Toast/ Cereal breakfast, Sandwich for lunch, and cooked meal for dinner. I don't think my DSC have ever made anything for themselves in their lives though (15 and 19), they certainly haven't in my house and it certainly wouldn't be worth the grief I'd get from DH if I suggested they did. I wouldn't cook twice though. Do not feel guilt tripped into doing this. Let your boyfriend do a cooked lunch if they want it.

Lostinsuffolk · 13/05/2013 16:31

Sandwiches are perfect for lunch. I'm with the rest on here, two hot meals is crazy - paying for a subway even more crazy!!!

Booyhoo · 13/05/2013 17:28

I really dont get how a sandwich wasnt acceptable for lunch yet a subway sandwich was!

Original poster

Dejected · 13/05/2013 20:49

I really dont get how a sandwich wasnt acceptable for lunch yet a subway sandwich was!

Neither do I!

Well, at least I feel better about sticking to my meal plans for the weekends. I just wanted to check I wasn't being out of order. If they want two cooked meals they can sort it out themselves. I will make the main meal as I'm doing that for my boys anyway who are quite happy with a sandwich for lunch.

thank you all

OP posts:

Booyhoo · 13/05/2013 21:25

yes stick to your meal plan. you could always suggest the dcs (how old are yours?) are responsible for choosing a meal a night and make it so that the SDCs get to pick on one (or both) of the nights they're there. also get them to prep and cook it on 'their' night under yours/DPs supervision.

my dcs are 7 and 3 and i do this with them. it means two nights a week i dont get a say in what gets cooked and yes atm it is a bit of a nuisance having to coach them through it but they pick easy stuff they like and i know long term they'll be more able to cook it themselves and will be used to being responsible for some of the family meals.

Jan45 · 16/05/2013 15:23

First of all, there is nothing wrong with a sandwich, certainly better than a microwave burger. and secondly, what's stopping your boyfriend cooking for is children???

Original poster

Dejected · 17/05/2013 18:03

Nothing is stopping him but I don't mind cooking for them if I'm cooking for my own boys.

My boys are 14 and 16, his boys are 12. All old enough to sort themselves out for breakfast and lunch. Mine do happily. His...hmmmmm not so much!

OP posts:

ModreB · 17/05/2013 18:34

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