New house - bedroom issue

[FedupofTurkey]

2 families moving in together. Me and ds and partner and 3 ds. The house is a 4 bed - 3 double and one small single. The 2 biggest rooms will go to me and fiancee and the 2 youngest who will be sharing. That leaves one double and one small single. Dss is slightly older than my ds and thinks he should have the biggest room as he is the eldest (he is also the only one who doesn't want to move) so that would leave the smallest for my ds. Now my ds has a small room now and is quite chilled so won't make an issue.

If we were a biological family thats how the rooms would be divided. But i can't help feeling a bit peeved that my ds will get the smallest room as he won't make an issue (though he also has the most games so storage will be a problem).

Am I being unreasonable? Should i propose they toss a coin for the bigger room or am i making an issue when there isn't one?

I'd say that if your DSS is unhappy about he move then a little sugar at this stage wouldn't go amiss for all your sakes, so just give him the room he's asked for. However, I do understand how you feel about your DS 'missing out' just because he wouldn't say anything even if he did want the bigger room. I'd be looking to get him a high bed, a bean bag and a variety of really cool accessories/storage so even though his room is smaller it has just as many good points as the other one. Involve your DS in the choices so he can have the best possible room out out of the size available.

Could they share a room and have the other as a games/ toy room? Or would they hate that?

If that's what you would do if you were a biological family, then that's what you should do, surely?

It doesn't sound like there is much of an issue tbh, but I agree with momb about involving your DS in choices about his room to make it really cool for him.

Maybe in a couple of years they could swap over if it seems to become an issue?

Momb, thanks. Yes dss although fine with me and my ds, dss doesn't want to leave his friends, understandable, whereas although it is a new house my ds will still be in touch with his friends. So maybe i just go with the flow.

I'd rather them both have separate rooms as they are both used to that and are approaching teens! Also dss is a stealer so my ds needs to keep his stuff safe.

What's being done about DSS "the stealer"? I wouldn't be moving in with him if he'd subject my son to this.

Could you use the move to your advantage - he can only have the larger room if he doesn't steal and will be moved into the little one at the first evidence of him taking his brothers' / stepbrother's things?

A bit of a drastic idea, but could a couple of the rooms be re configured if they just have stud walls separating them? It is a cost, and a hassle, but it might be a way of finding a fair solution.

If he's happy then leave well alone. Offer to get him some new furniture. high sleeper, compact desk or whatever would help him make best use of the space, and maybe see if he could store some games elsewhere (eg DSS's room) if that's an issue.