DSC going to Sunday School & thier mother objecting.

[Threelittlemonkeys]

Hi all, pretty new here but it seems there are many veteran step mums here who have been through all what we are going through before, so hopefully someone will know the answer to my question.

DSC live with us and DP half the time. I take my DD to Sunday school and she loves it, although I am not religious myself. DSC would like to go, they can have a good time alongside their step sibling, make new friends and join in lots of other activities run by the church too such as half term fun days.

Their mother has said she doesn't consent. Well she said much more than that but it all amounted to her saying no way. DP wants them to go. She says he can't make decisions regarding religion without her. He is not deciding their religion (he is also non religious) and is not having them baptised or anything. It's just a Sunday school. Daft thing is that one DSC already goes to a church Pre school but she obviously isn't bothered by that or hasn't realised. However she has moaned at DSC for saying a cute little "grace" and dinner time that DSC learnt there.

Anyway. What do you think? DP never tries to interfer in what she does with DSC time with her and feels she is being way over the top about this. However, he doesn't want to do something a court will see as wrong. Things are currently very difficult and have been for some time, he is very aware that their agreement (which was made out of court) may be taken to court in a full blown residency battle at any time and he doesn't want to give er anything she can use to "score points" against him. That's sounds childish but hopefully you get my point.

Opinions/advice welcome.

To clarify, his reply to her was along the lines of "Ok, that's fair enough they won't go to Sunday school" the bit about not needing any more grief and stress and picking battles was just me explaining- he didn't put that in the text, despite temptation! :)

As a side-issue, did DSC learn to say grace at pre-school? It seems quite likely to me, as Sunday schools don't involve usually involve eating, whereas pre-schools probably do.

Don't raise it now though! Too much heat in the whole situation. But perhaps when the dust has settled, and she's seen that DP will respect her wishes as currently expressed, it might be worth him discussing it with her again in terms of overall balance of the input of religion in DSC's life in terms of the whole picture of educational setting and preferences of both parents.

Yeah. The youngest learnt it at pre school, their mum already knows this, nothing to do with us teaching it to them.

So her objection isn't to the religious side of it, just to them going with you and your DD?

I agree that you should pick your battles and let this one go but it must be so bloody annoying that she is just being spiteful and hurting her own dc in the process.

Why can't these women put their children first above their nasty petty grievances about their ex husbands new partner?
FWIW I was going to say that I am not religious (not anti religion just too lazy to bother!) but my dc go to Sunday school at my parents church. DS2 now wants to be baptised and is really into it but DS1 is like me and prefers to lie in on a Sunday morning! If my ex objected to them going on religious principles I would have stopped them going and let him talk to them about why, but if he just didn't want them to go because they were going with my family then I would have told him to jog on!

To be honest i think if the children want to go, and enjoy going then i think its mean to stop them going.

I dont think churches, sunday schools etc are as pressurising as what they used to be. People make their own minds up about what they believe as they grow up.

If my kids wanted to go to sunday school and enjoyed going, then i would have no problem with it, but if the children didnt want to go and were being told they were going, then thats a different story.

I ve known adults who went to sunday school as kids and are now not religious in any way, so i dont think that by going sunday school will make them religious for life.

I dont see why they cant go.