So, long story short- my DP has a 4 yr old son. We all live together with my dd and we have DSS 3/4 nights a week every week. For the past year they've been using a sort of diary/special forms (recommended by solicitors) to communicate about DSS. This gets handed over with DSS's things each time he goes between our homes.
Anyway. DP found out that Ex didn't take DSS to an important school meeting, (didn't tell anyone or inform the school either, we found out by chance and DP took him at a later date) she also didn't pay her half of the childminders fees again this month and the Childminder refused DSS until it was paid- meaning the Childminder emailed us she couldn't accept him on the day he was due to go whilst with us last week, which caused lots of hassle, she had blagged the late payment for the days DSS was with her knowing full well he wouldn't be able to attend whilst with us the next few days and didn't even let DP know! We also found out she's been putting DSS (nearly 5) in nappies from DSS and a family member. We have absolutely no idea as to why as he's been dry for absolutely ages.
So, DP listed his concerns and asked for her reasons why etc. She has replied stating she no longer wants to use the diary for communications as she feels she is happy with how DSS is looked after by DP and therefore DP shouldn't question her. She has said she will only communicate via text message. (Im unsure what difference that makes compared to a written entry in the diary once or twice a week). This is not possible as she has previously made continual harrassing and abusive calls and abusive text messages which police were involved in, she was warned and told not to contact him via telephone. She has also said he doesn't want/need telephone calls during the week from DSS, doesn't want a daily account of what he's been doing, new things he's done, a new food he's tried etc.
DP tries to give her lots of info to provide continuity for DSS and because he hates being apart from his son and loves hewing about things he's done etc when he's with EX as he feels like the missing days aren't so missing if that makes sense. She just doesn't want to know :( and refuses to let DP know what he's been upto on the 3/4 days he's with her. So we drop him off and hear nothing whilst or after he's dropped back. Just seems so odd to me.
The other thing is that she has got a new Childminder just for the days DSS is with her, and got a new full
time job. DP has asked for the Ofsted number of the Childminder and to be informed how many hours a week DSS attends. Ex refuses to give this information. DP doesn't want to interfere but believes that he has a right to know about childcare settings etc and check they are registered.
So, my question is- is DP entitled to know about childcare settings she uses? (Both have shared residency, 50/50, DP has parental responsibility too. Also, any ideas of what DP can do to have written communication continued? Things are gradually getting worse and causing problems and she has also said she will no longer email him their usual weekly email either. DP has been advised by CAFCASS (he called them) that shared residency usually only works when the parents communicate effectively and a court would take a dim view of a parent who has shared residency that refuses to encourage contact with the other parent whilst a young child is with them and doesn't want to know about of give information about what theyved been doing etc. Any experiences or advice for DP
he feels like se is trying to cut him out of half of his sons life whilst he does everything he can to keep her informed and provide a continuous stable life for DSS
JJ