Taking over childcare

[WaitingForMe]

Previously DHs ex has stayed home Mon-Wed then worked Thus and Fri. MIL had pre-schooler on Thursdays then he was at nursery on Friday. MIL is now going into hospital and I'm taking over her day. When the holidays start I'll have both kids Thurs and probably Fri as well.

I volunteered and am delighted to be doing this but am wondering what I need to cover with the ex as I don't know any of the boys' school/nursery friends. Being with me won't be a treat like Granny but normal life and I've no idea what kind of play dates people do.

Should I just ask her to pass my details to her friends? Should I plan something now for the beginning of the holidays (ie. Invite some people over)? Or shall I just do my own thing with them?

In my experience most socislising that you do with pre schoolers tends to be friends that you make with similar aged kids. So best thing would be to check out if there's a toddler group or something on a Thursday that you could go to.

The school aged DC may have more fixed friends that they like to see though. If you get on ok with the ex I would let her know you'd be up for playdates and feel free to pass your details on. Otherwise if you do the school run you can ask your DSC to point out their friends parents and introduce yourself.

I'm literally starting as the term ends. Thinking about it, people will probably just get in touch with the ex (who I get on well with) so I'll just say I'm happy to take them places and just pass on invites.

To date DH and I have just been informed of parties that fell on our weekend and done taxiing.

I agree, playdates with pre-school kids are usually with your friends and you just hope that the kids get on, usually at that age they'll play with anyone.
Older kids usually have their best friends and at that age it's more a matter of them inviting their friends to play, mum would probably just drop them off, have a natter for 5 mins then make a run for it.
Definitely check out playgroups, sure start centres etc in your area. In the school holidays a lot of local councils organise things like family days, nature trails, craft days etc etc, you can probably find details on the Internet.
Also a lot of cinemas do kids showings in the holidays, usually in the morning and only costs £1.50pp.
There are loads of things out there to do with the kids, just a matter of going out and finding them

I'm not worried about occupying our time. I've been in their lives for three years and have various plans. I just read a load of stuff about playdates on MN and freaked out a bit!

Not sure what you've read on MN, but usually if they're after school you keep the child til around 6.30pm, feed them something child-friendly for tea, and leave them to get on with it. Can take the the park or something if you want, but mine are usually quite happy just playing in their rooms or the garden with a friend. Then usually offer the mum or whoever collects them a cup of tea which gives you a chance to get to know them a bit. I roughly try and reciprocate when it's our turn, but if you have two separate households looking after a child after school (which lik you I have as my ex has them 1-2 days a week) then it's sometime hard to keep track of.