Can't believe what a rollercoaster of day its been!
DSD came as usual and I was preparing to do some of the things that have been recommended to me on here (thank you all by the way)
Doing some housework before I concentrated on it I had the ipod on and she was very quiet in the dining room .. I happened to llok in and she was sobbing. I literally dropped everything to cuddle her and asked her what was wrong. Apparently a boy at school who know about her living with someone other than her BM had walked up to her and said 'Your Mother is a Bitch' then walked off and said somehting else but she couldn't hear him. We had about half an hours hug where she just sat on the sofa and sobbed her heart out. Then she seemed happier when we'd chatted about what we could do and we went out for the afternoon. She was happier than I've seen her in a while and having a lovely time on the beach with the other 3 DCs. She wrote in the sand and pointed out to me and DH 'I love Dad and Mam' So the comment has stirred up alot of the questions again I thought. Then while making the dinner I was stood with her and her BM came up again (she brought the subject up whichis VERY unusual) she said she wished she could see her because she wanted to ask her some questions. She said one would be why couldn't she look after them properly so that they ended up being taken away? WHy doesn't she contact SS so she can see her? both questions that I tried to answer without being too negative about her BM. We talked about how we can't find her its up to her (due to the court's and SS decision) how that we would never stop her seeing her, she also said she thought maybe she had contacted BIL and SIL but they hadn't told her. i assured her this would NEVER happen.
Once the 3 Dcs were in bed then me and DH talked to her about everything she'd said today. I feel that we may have got somewhere with her today. DH seemed to be more affectionate and more involved today too.
Oh and she also is still convinced that I 'stole' DH from BM. She wants to know why they aren't together anymore.
What a day!