Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

[Squirrel3]

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

I don't know, I just know I can't go on like this, I'm tired. Just the sleeping problem is bad enough (I need my sleep) but with everything else too - I'm just getting p-ed off with it all. People seem to think I am 'wonder woman' and I can do it all, but I can't.

I get p-ed off with having to check my purse and mark my money before dss arrives incase he steals anything, I get p-ed off with them taking advantage of me, my kids always helped out around the home but dp doesn't think his kids should because it is my house not theirs. I'm sick of dp taking me for granted and not supporting or helping me. I'm sick of the lack of physical contact.

BTW, you wont believe this but I applied for another job yesterday! Its within walking distance of my home so it will take out an hour each way of travelling time, which will help, I'll have an extra two hours a day for myself which might help.

For me, the fact that it's your house not theirs is exactly the reason why they should tidy/clean up after themselves. You're certainly being taken for granted here, from several different directions too

Why do you have to sleep elsewhere? Your house, your bed, his snoring - I'd stay put make him find somewhere else to sleep!

Have you tried to have physical contact and he's ignoring you, or do you not feel like trying?

Don't blame you about the job - as long as if you get it you spend the extra time on you and not doing yet more things for everyone else

About the physical thing I don't feel like trying, I'm too knackered and the way he is ATM makes me feel like I don't want him anywhere near me!

I've tried making him sleep on the sofa but he "can't sleep" so he comes up and wakes me up anyway.

I'm just getting fed up with all of it, if I was single I could sleep, I wouldn't have so much housework, I wouldn't feel like I was having the P taken out of me the whole time, no more watching my purse, no more annoying kids lying to me and about me the whole time, all in all a nice peaceful life......but would it be too peaceful, I'd probably get really lonely, ds goes to Southampton weekends, he goes to band practice a few nights a week, what would I do? Just sit there and watch telly with nobody to talk to? (not that dp talks to me much lately)

You sound exactly like I was when I was debating whether or not to leave my ex. Mind you, there was absolutely nothing to keep me with him so it wouldn't be fair to compare your relationship with that one. IMO though it's not good to stay with him just because you're worried about/scared of being on your own

Do you ever have any good times? Do you and DP go out together for a meal/drink? You do lots for him and his kids - do they ever do anything for you? Think what I'm trying to say is: do the good times outweigh the bad?

I have days when I wonder if I'd be better off on my own too but it's always when something has happened - either we've had a problem with dsd or BM has rocked the boat yet again - so there's always an explanation for it, I don't think that's the case here is it? You're just feeling generally down and there hasn't been a trigger for it

We do have good times, it may be just a rough patch, I don't realy want to split with him, I just know I can't carry on like this and something has got to give IYKWIM and I don't want it to be my sanity (although most will say I lost that ages ago!)

FFS all I want from him is to help out and show me a bit of consideration and affection now and again, that's not too much to ask is it? How do I make him realise he is going to lose me if he doesn't? Sadly I think it needs a third party to point it out to him because he isn't taking any notice of me.

I am doing some work based reasearch on my computer at home ATM and all of a sudden my computer started to play the theme tune to mission imposible, it really made me jump!!!!

Do you think its trying to tell me something?!!!! PMSL

PMSL, I don't want to come of the web-site I was on now, dancing around to 'mission imposible' is great therapy!

It certainly is not too much to ask

Have you actually told him exactly how down you feel and that he really is in danger of losing you?

Spooky [cue twilight zone music]

PMSL too at that

I don't think he realises he is close to it, he just keeps on saying "I don't think you like me anymore", I tell him if he helped out I wouldn't be so tired and if he showed me more consideration/affection I would like him a whole lot more, but it doesn't seem to compute! Typical man!!!!

Next time he says that, my reply would be "do you know what? You're very close there - and it's getting worse every day!"

Do you think that would help - or would it just go straight over his head?

Or maybe you're right about a third party. Do you have someone who could help?

Over his head I think, don't think there is anybody that would say it to him, apart from my ds that is, my ds knows how I am feeling and he is getting very annoyed with dp himself but I don't think dp would take it very well coming from him.

Doesn't sound like it's going to sink in otherwise though does it? You might find your ds will say something eventually anyway - I think I would if it was my mum

Think I would probably try to sit him down, turn the telly off and literaly spell it out to him. Tell him that he's very close to losing you, how down you feel - and make sure you don't miss anything out. Even make a list of things you need to say to him if it helps

Or how about writing him a letter? Would that sink in do you think? It wouldn't with my DP - he doesn't do reading, only newspapers lol - so it depends what kind of person your DP is. Some people respond better if they can actually see something, rather than just hearing it

I think I am going to have to spell it out to him it will be really difficult over the weekend as we have the stepkids and when they are here they are the most important thing.

What about Sunday evening when they've gone? Think you need to do it as soon as you can. Agree you can't do it with the skids there though

I'll try, but the way things are going by Sunday evening we won't be able to stay in the same room as each other let alone talk to each other! Lol

I must try to 'snap out' of these feelings of anger and resentment for the weekend so that we can talk Sunday evening.

I'm sorry all I've done is moan today, I wanted to come on here and have a laugh and all I have done is moan, sorry.

No apologies necessary Squirrel - just wish I could do more to help you

Do try to talk to him on Sunday though. The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be - and it will just keep eating away at you

Yes, you are right, thanks for listening to this mad squirrel ranting on!

BTW have you seen \link{http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit_card/\this}

No problem

Just read that - unbelievable!

I feel fine now, bit of food and plenty of fluid works wonders. Ready for some more tonight

Yes, I'm joking! I don't normally drink during the week, and certainly not when I'm on my own but I was so p*$$ed off last night I thought bugger it!!

Tomorrow night will be different though, it's DPs weekend off so the drink will be flowing

Glad you are feeling better Naam, where is Tarantula?

The electrician is here so I may have to clear off for a little while whilst he sorts out the electric.

I'm here Been in bloody meetings all day it seems. I hate meetings.

Glad you are feeling better NAAM.

Thnk you need to have a serious word with your dp Squirrel. Reading back waht you've said if its YOUR haouse then its YOUR rules surely and they should obey them. AND as its your house send dp into dss's room to sleep and he can sleep on the floor or they can share a room or something. Why should you suffer in your own house? After all he's the one that broguth up te whole YOU/HIS /THEIR house thing so I'd chuck it back in his face tbh.

Agree tarantula

Bored now, want to go home. Got to work till half 5 today as well. BUT I can finish at half 3 tomorrow so it'll be worth it

I've got to admit tarantula I feel like doing as you say, I can't tell you hwo many times I have bitten my lip because I have wanted to say "but its my house!" I can't seem to be able to do it though because I think it dp will take it really badly and say "well if we are not welcome in your house"... etc

~sigh~ I really think I should be called doormat (appoligies 'doormat') I don't know why I will do anything to keep the peace, think its got something to do with my up-bringing, there was always conflict and bad feeling, I don't want my home to be like that - I'm not like it at work.

That would be really childish of him

You really must be an absolute saint - I would have said it long before now, several times too