Upset about Christmas - vent

[chelen]

Hi, my SS went today, for a whole week. I am so upset, he has only one half-sib, who lives here and it just makes me upset they don't get any time together at all over Christmas. Last year SS was here, we asked his mum for lunch but she said no. For her Christmas is with her parents over 300 miles away. So this year SS is going up there for a whole week.

I lost it about SS wheeling his case thru puddle on way to car after I'd asked him to stand still. So I even fucked up the nice goodbye.

We've done our best, had a special day yesterday etc with nice food, presents, trip out, but it hasn't worked for me very well. I hope he has a good Christmas, he's sad he can't see everyone poor love, I'm just hoping Father Christmas etc and the fun laid on up there will cheer him up.

I am really feeling for you. How you want everything to go well but - ever the parent - sometimes nagging gets in the way.

He will remember the day you had and wont hold it against you I'm sure. Tell us more about what you did?

Is the thought of a quiet Christmas with your own DD/DS enough to keep you going or is it heart breaking that you wont have DSS?

Christmas contact has been cancelled round here becuase my DH won't couch up enough cash by his ex's standards... so we wont have my DSd either. We've had her here for the last 4 years... very alround.

I have made a special effort to get my DD's stepmum a card today with "Happy Christmas Step Mum" and tonight I will encourage her to write something very nice inside (she's only 5) because god knows that helping raise another woman's child is hard.

Un-MN hugs for all SMs x

Hi, thanks for reading & for replying BOM. I'm feeling a bit better now, I've had a good whinge/vent here and in RL and I've got a little distance from the point of departure. Transition days are hard on all the parents/steps/siblings too!

I'm sorry you will be missing your DSD too. It's a hard business this Christmas lark.

Our family day yesterday was good. We did some nice Christmassy things (e.g. we like to sing carols, badly, whilst shaking/playing mad instruments, badly) and it was lovely.

I am really hoping he just gets into the swing of it and comes home happier than he went away. Fingers crossed. Not many kids can resist the excitement of Christmas so I am hopeful all will be good.

Also I have just done the week ahead board and seen how many great social things I have lined up, things I couldn't do with an older kid but it is ok to drag my toddler to, and I think the time will pass quickly.

I realise that I don't do nearly enough adult socialising, it's all child-related, so I am going to try to really, really enjoy the week ahead - just taking the younger one to anything I want to do instead of the usual school run crap.

Yes, more un-MN hugs from me to all!

Oops, missed this! Glad you're feeling much better Chelan x

Chelan, hope you're doing OK.

BOM, what a lovely gesture and you are so right - contributing positively to a child's life should be acknowledged..Maybe over time society will realise step mothers are not all wicked.