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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Mother's Day - if you are a stepmum

17 replies

ladydeedy · 17/03/2011 22:36

just curious, what goes on in your house? If they are stepchildren do they always
Especially if you have no "bio" kids of your own.. Do your DSCs always go to their mum's?

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Original poster

ladydeedy · 17/03/2011 22:36

oops sorry, edited that and it came out a bit funny! but you get my drift..

OP posts:

WinterLover · 18/03/2011 07:14

Well last year DBD made me a card as she came Tonys at 11am on the Sunday. Anything she makes at school for mothers day goes to her mum and if she makes anything fir fathers day her step dad gets it

This year she's with us mothers day but not fathers day but her mum won't swop weekends or arrange part weekends for them both.

WinterLover · 18/03/2011 07:16

Oh and last year and this year there are no other kids.. Next year we'll have our DC too (due aug 2011)

Sushiqueen · 18/03/2011 08:53

Depended on whose weekend it was to have them. Didn't swop for mothers day or fathers day.

Being typical males my DSS's don't do cards. Much to their mums disgust. One lives with us and she phoned him up abd gave him grief last year as he hadn't sent his stepdad a fathers day card.

He hadn't given his dad one either! lol.

ConfessionsOfaFlask · 18/03/2011 09:57

It depends who's weekend it is. I have DD7 so guaranteed a burnt bagel a lovely breakfast in bed and sometimes flowers from DH. We have offered to drop girls on mothers day sice it feel on our w-e but were rebuffed the 2 last years so we are not asking this year and let her ask if she wants them.

So we're set to have DBDs with us on Mother's Day- I get lovely home made things from DBDs as the school stuff goes to their mum (fair enough) and DD makes me a gift too. DBD1 makes the coolest You're the Best Stepmum cards, which are lovely.

DBD1 told me that since she had enough of kids at school asking if her stepmum is evil, she retorts that they need to broaden their reading choices as Cinderella is quite baby-ish you know (she's 10)

Original poster

ladydeedy · 18/03/2011 12:22

DBD1 sounds fab!!

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fairystepmother · 19/03/2011 08:33

We used to drop off early if Mothers day landed on our weekend so that they got the bulk of Sunday together. Same with Fathers day but in reverse.

Before my SS9's mother died, all my SS's Mother's Day stuff from school went to her and all the Fathers day stuff came to my OH.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens this year - it's SS9's first Mother's Day since she died so not sure what will happen or how he's going to feel about it yet.

WinterLover · 19/03/2011 09:56

I'm gonna attempt to arrange dropping DBD off eary on mothers day, and having DBD on fathers day... Will see how that goes

chelen · 21/03/2011 14:32

My stepson tends to go to his mum's for Mother's Day, I have a son too so he'll be here. Mother's day is looking like it will be a bit emotive this year because stepson is cross with his mum at the mo so I think he's not looking forward to the pressure of having to be really 'you're the best'.

School stuff goes to mum or when there hasn't been a school thing I help him make something for her.

Drizzela · 21/03/2011 15:38

Last year DSD was due to be with us on Mother's day. We assumed her mum would prefer to have her but no, we were told mother's day is a time for mums to 'rest' and so we would have DSD as usual. Fine by me.

So this year i assumed it would be the same case, and again, we are due to have DSD. I have arranged a big family celebration as we've lots of mums in my close family. However, when DSd told her mum she called to say this would absolutely not happen and that DSd is her DD she would be having her for the day.

Damned if you do damned if you don't round here.

(P.s I would actually like a step mum card but I have never had one. Am pondering if to get a step mum card for my DD's step mum although not sure if she would apreciate that from me...)

Drizzela · 21/03/2011 15:40

School stuff always goes to the appropriate mum or dad. I would be very cross if this went to my DDs step mum and I would never pressume to have it from my DSD.

WinterLover · 21/03/2011 17:06

Well sucessfully negotiated, us fathers day, her mum mothers day :)

theredhen · 21/03/2011 21:57

Before I met DP he seemed to think that taking kids back to their Mums in the morning of Mother's Day was good enough, but ex kicked up a big stink and insisted they wake up with her.

Since I've been around, Mother's Day has always fallen on her weekend, so it's not been an issue, but I suspect she would want us to have DC if it was our weekend anyway now.

thinkingkindly · 22/03/2011 21:11

We stick to the weekends. DH used to take DSS home early if it was mother's day, but exW isn't bothered about it. DSS gave me a stepmum card last year which was sweet.

Magicjamas · 25/03/2011 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

steppingup · 26/03/2011 09:19

We swap weekends if we need to so the kids are with us on fathers day and their mum on mothers day. Thankfully we've never had an issue. The kids (dss & dsd) however last year took great delight in telling me that they are looking forward to going home on fathers day as they have got a lovely card and present for their step dad, which I suppose is nice. It peeved me a little as neither of them got anything for their dad. OK they are 8 and 10 but I was expecting a home made card at least and I was going to take them to the shop to pick a present for him. The eldest text me the night before to say we haven't got anything to give to him and asked me to get card and present. Which ofcourse I did but I was annoyed that they didn't even make him a card. My DP doesn't know that they didn't think of him and got their step dad something nice and I'm not about to tell him either, it would upset him. Lets see how it goes this year. Oh, and I have never had anything for mothers day but I would be over the moon If I got a step mum card.

reddaisy · 26/03/2011 21:25

Before I had DD, DP and DSD did a "Reddaisy appreciation day!" as a surprise a few weeks before mother's day and I got flowers and a card. It was a way of celebrating what I do for her apparently but without the awkwardness of it falling on mother's day. It was lovely and very unexpected.

Now, I get a card and a gift for mother's day instead as DP gets stuff from DD for me and I guess it was easier to do it on the same day.

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