Sad Step-mums Club (for when being nutty doesn't work)

[Squirrel3]

Excellent idea!

Hows the atmosphere? Have number of good knives here if they will help......

I've got a really noisy good drill here, bit silly of dp to leave his boat in the garden isn't it?

Personally, I'd have said it was pretty foolish to be closing his eyes right now if he has any clue how upset u are, let alone leave his boat in the garden!!!

Hey Squirrel You ok? Just popped on adn seen this. If you need to rant I'm here. Hope things are a bit better now.

Squirrel how are you?

Hope things are better, thinking about you

things are not better really, thanks for asking anyway. How was dp's birthday?

It was lovely thank you, we had a realy good time

Are the kids still there? Have you said anything to DP?

I'm glad you had a lovely time I was worried I might have put a dampner on the day for you, sorry.

Dp and I had another row today over him having different rules for his kids than the rules for mine, such as they have complete control over what we watch on televison but if my ds wants to watch anything dp's answer to him is "well buy a sky box for your bedroom then", if I want to watch something I have to go to our bedroom. Mind you I haven't minded spending time in there on my own this weekend.

DSS1 is now working with dp doing the same job in the same firm that my ds is, the only difference is my son has worked there for over a year and is far more competent at the job than dss1, yet dp is putting dss1's money up an extra £10 a day more than my ds is getting and he is insisting that my ds drives himself to work as he is buying himself a few tools instead of keep borrowing them because he is good at what he is doing and in dp's words he is "good enough to be a 'fitter' now rather than a labourer", yet ds gets £10 a day less money than his son and he has to drive himself to work (more petrol expense).

I realise that he is always going to favour his son over mine but surely he should treat them the same?

We landed up having a big row about it this morning, I feel as if we have gone back several months and it is them and us IYKWIM.

Then I find out later that BM and her DP have been shouting and screaming at eachother realy badly lately and the stepkids are geting upset by it, then they come here and dp and I are at it too. Feel really rubbish.

They have control over the telly?? I don't know how you stop yourself from saying something, I really don't. It's your house - do the skids realise this? Or do they think the house belongs to both of you? He shouldn't be talking to your ds like that either, totally unfair. No way would I let them do this. When dsd is here we are fair in that we don't have football on all the time - as we normally would - but she certainly doesn't watch what she likes. And if there's a match on that we really want to watch and she wants to watch something else then she goes upstairs and watches it in her bedroom

Agree it's unfair about the wages situation too. Has your ds said anything?

It's really not your problem what the kids have to listen to at home. I do know what you mean about not wanting to argue in front of them but what's the alternative? Either say nothing and the problem doesn't get resolved or let him/them walk all over you, neither of which IMO are real options

How long are the kids there for?

btw LOL at the hoovering - and at claire saying about the music

They are here until this evening, I'm sorry I have got to go, some friends have turned up.

Dp has told dsd that she is helping him wash the car and she has refused "I don't want to!" dp seemed to accept that!

When I was young when my parents told me I was doing something that is waht I did!

Hi Squirrel just popped in fer a min to see how you are (kicked dss off the puter well taint good for him to be on it all the time). Sorry to hear things are still bad. think you need to have a serious talk with dp about his priorities. he missing the point big time on how a parent should behave IMO. Hope things get better soon. gotta fly now and make pizza.

Yes same here - I wouldn't have even thought of saying "I don't want to" or "No" or "Make me!" which is what my dsd used to say. She doesn't any more though to be fair, but only because I pointed out to DP that it was unacceptable. What is it about these men that they just can't/won't make their children do as they're told?? It makes me so angry! GRRRRRR!!!!

Be interesting to see what happens tonight when the kids have gone

Take care, thinking of you

{{{{hugs to you}}}}

tarantula is spot on - he's completely missing the point and has seriously mis-placed priorities

Unbelievable! He has gone off in a sulk now because I didn't want to watch the stupid kids channel and I went upstairs to watch what I wanted to watch and "Obviously I don't want to spend any time with them so he is going out".

So I have no choice but to sit there and watch cr@p and love it because I want to spend time with his brats, and I suppose I am supposed to enjoy them taking the P out of me too!!

I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!

In my own home too!!!!!

I must be mad, I pay the mortgage, I pay for the gas, electric, TV license, water rates, everything, you name it and I don't get a say in what happens in my home the weekends they are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am seriously P-ed off now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm dreading him coming home now.

I don't know if its me or them, is it because I have been dreading them coming lately that everything they do is winding me up? Or, is it because dp has slipped back in to his old ways and he is not 'picking the kids up' on their behaviour?

I wish things could go back to the way they were a couple of months ago we were all getting along fine.

I really don't want to argue anymore with him.

Bloody hell Squirrel!!! what does dp pay for then? Am totally shocked that he thinks that he can take over the house cos his kids are there regardless. It needs to be a balance and ALL kids in the house need to be treated equally. I meant its fair enough that they watch some stuff but not all the time. Poor dd and dss had to suffer Poirot this afternoon and tough! (Actually think I've got dss hooked on detectives he he he).

I'll pop back later and see how things are if I can.

Thanks tarantula, I think I'm just having a bad few days, sorry for the rant and I appologise for calling the stepkids brats but.........

BTW He pays for the food, moblie phones and erm, erm, erm........... I think thats about it!

Oh, I nearly forgot, he does pay one of the most important bills, the Broadband!

well thats good anyway (about the broadband). No worries tho rant away. You need to by the sounds of it. What a crap w/end

Dp's jsut got back from dropping dss off. The trains round here are all down for works atm so they had to cycle. Dss didnt complain at all on the way home apparently Good for him! Mind you they did have hte wind with them all hte way but even still its a tad chilly out there. He is such a good boy. I'm sooooo lucky to have him.

Tell your s/kids they should count their blessing they aint got me as a s/mum cos I'd ahve em walking and cycling miles. No been driven by car round here.

How are things Squirrel?

Thinking about you, hope you're OK. No need for apologies, and believe me you're not the only one who calls the skids brats

AAaaaaaargh!

That's better, I needed that!

After dp came home yesterday (minus the stepkids) I told him that I wasn't there to be laughed at and it wasn't on. He said that they wasn't laughing at me they were laughing at him taking the mick! I pointed out that it still isn't ok for him to undermine my authority by taking the mick and by doing that he was effectively teaching them that I was to be laughed at! He didn't totally agree with me but he did apologise, he told me that the kids felt really bad for upsetting me. I don't quite know how I feel about it today.

I missed the interview because I had to go for a blood test first thing this morning and they completely messed it up again! The guy pushed the needle in, and out it came again further up the vain again! Then it wouldn't stop bleeding out of both the entry hole and the exit hole, he just kept on saying press hard on it, but it wouldn't stop, so he pressed hard for ages. He looked worried, but the pig didn't apologise. When eventually it did stop bleeding he made sure it had stopped by keep on hitting the vain to see if any blood came out! Then he made me wait for a while to make really sure it had stopped! I was there for 3/4 hr (excluding the waiting time before I had the test!). When I got out I phoned the firm that I had the interview with and the man I had to see had gone as I was late!

At least he's apologised - that's a start I suppose. You know, the kids must think a lot of you if they feel bad for upsetting you - if they didn't like you they wouldn't care less whether they've upset you or not. When are they coming again?

Are you still going for a second interview?

Naam, they are here again Wednesday, lets hope it goes better.

I don't know about another interview TBH I wasn't sure even about going for this interview, I've already accepted the other job, it was nice to be asked like that though.

Hope your dp had a lovely Birthday.

Thank you for your support over the weekend Naam and Tarantula, it was very much appreciated, I would have gone completely loopy if I hadn't ranted here.