Sad Step-mums Club (for when being nutty doesn't work)

[Squirrel3]

Hi,

I am quite new to MN and have 2 SD and 1 SS aswell as 4 of my own under the age of 6 (hmm maybe I am more nutty than sad but would love a grumble on her too)

Can I join???

Of course you can

So have I got this right - you have 7 children?? No wonder you're dazed and confused!!

You should look at the Nutty thread too - we have a laugh on there

Feel free to be Nutty on the other thread or grumble on here whenever you like, it can be a great help

Welcome dazedandconfused,

Thank you x

Yes, there are 7 little treasures all together, aren't I lucky!!??!!

DSD1 is 12 years
DSS is 10 years
DSD2 is 9 years
DS1 is 5 years
DS2 is 4 years
DS3 is 16 months
DS4 is 12 weeks (a little much loved accident)!!

Needless to say I am a sad step mum and a very nutty stepmum too!! Probably more nutty than sad with the amount of children I have to look after but I can get V.mad/sad a lot too!!

My lot sound a bit younger than a lot of yours so I haven't got to the whole " I hate you" stage yet, they love me and think I am the best Mum in the world and often tell me they wish they could live with us and go home crying regularly (and I am sooooo strict, so I don't know why)!!!!

My problems tend to stem from the Mother (not towards me) and the fact that I have looked after them like they are my own since they were babies/toddlers and now DH EXPECTS me to continue doing EVERYTHING childcare wise even though I now have 4 boys under 6 aswell!!!!

Flippin' heck dazedandconfusedmum

You really do have your hands full. What a shame your step kids cry when they have to go home, that must be awful. Think most, if not all, of us can relate to any problems coming from the Mum and not the kids!

My dsd is 12, I don't have any of my own and can't have any cos DP has had a vasectomy

I'm a busy Auntie tho - got 10 nieces and nephews

Reflection, if you are about please post here, I'm worried and I am thinking about you. {{{hugs}}}

My goodness Notactuallyamum, you have loads of neices/nephs!! I am still waiting for them, my brother gets married next year and I can't wait to do the whole "cool Auntie" thing as at home I have to be the baddy!! (DH is WAY too soft).

Your DSD is the same age as mine, is it me or do they seem to grow up HUGELY when they go to secondary school?? She seems more like 22 than 12!!

Had really stressful weekend with the step-kids.

Feeling rubbish, the step-kids hate me and to be honest I don't like them very much ATM either!!!

Had more money go missing this weekend, sd has been rude and sullen with me all weekend, ss has been in a strop all weekend because dp decided that to sort out one of the 'other' problems (you know which one!) by changing around the beds and gave sd the most comfortable bed and ss the uncomfortable one, so that when I have to sleep in it I'm not sleeping in/with you know what! and if he does that in the other bed I don't have to deal with it. Just as well really, because they didn't strip the beds as asked, no suprise there!

SS has been taking the P out of me all day, sd joined in when I burnt my hand cooking their dinner so badly I'm still having to keep it under cold water 3 and a half hours later!!! They seemed to find it very amusing, I had to walk out of the room or I would have blown my top at them.

They ate their dinner and dp took them home, he came back and went straight upstairs, he's got the hump because its bound to be my fault again, I should have joined in the fun of them taking great pleasure in seeing me in pain! Yeah, right! I am so If they were my kids I would have put them straight, but because they are not I feel like I can't say anything because BM will go mad, as it is dp's phone keeps on bleeping like mad, bet its her having a go about what a bitch of a step-mother I am!!!!!

Sometimes I hate being a stepmother!!!!!!

squirrel you have my sympathies babe
hope your fingers are better
hugs
xxx

Thank you doormat, hope you are feeling better too.

btw thanx for all the msgs of support
when ss2 kicked our 3mo in the head, I told dh who tackled his ds, but he denied it.

squirrel I think being a stepmum is the hardest most unrewarding job in the world in my experience

True, very true, unfortunately.

Still can't believe that your poor 3mth old was kicked in the head, I would have gone berserk! At least your dh tackled ss about it.

Dp was there when I discovered that more money had gone from my purse, but he just shrugged his shoulders. I can't outrightly accuse ss but the only people who have been there all weekend are the s.kids, dp and I, it can't be anybody else.

I'm going to have to hide my purse at weekends now, its not right, surely I shouldn't have to do that ~sigh~

At least my fingers seem to be cooling down now, still not brave enough to take them out of the water for too long though, I'll give them another 10 mins then put sudocrem on, then some cling film as suggested to keep it clean and see how it is in the morning.

I'm not bad at this typing with one hand lark now

{{{{{{ Hugs Squirrel }}}}}}

How are your fingers today? And how are you feeling? Hope you're feeling better

Can't believe your DP just shrugged his shoulders when he found out you had money missing. So for you. It does look like you're going to have to hide your purse when the skids visit and no, you certainly shouldn't have to but if DP won't do anything about it I don't see as you have any other choice

Glad he sorted out the bed situation tho even if it did send dss into a strop! He'll get over it, he'll have to!

Really hope you're feeling better today xx

Doormat how are you now? Hope you're fighting fit

Dazedandconfusedmum - yes my dsd is 12 going on 22 as well! Think they all are at that age. When I met DP she was a child - now she's definitely a little lady

Still not feeling any better about s.kids today, infact I looked around this morning at the mess they left behind and I am so p-ed off!

The bedrooms have empty crisp packets and sweet wrappers all over the floor, ss has left his football kit and his coat so dp has to make an hour round trip to take them back to him. The beds were not stripped as I asked, so I have got to do it again! There are sticky finger prints al over the paint work and walls. They are 14 and 10 not bloody 2 and 4!!!!!!! They make more mess than my 4 yr old dgs!!!!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to top it all off one of them is stealing from me!!!!

And, I'm not sure what to think about a 'joke' ss made when we picked them up on friday, ss had a sore throat on wednesday that I think I have caught. My voice was a bit croaky and I mentioned to ss that I'd probably caught it off him, "well", he said, " we'd better stop snogging behind Dad's back".

eeeeeewwwwwe!

Squirrel - DO NOT clean the bedrooms!! Leave it for your DP to do. He may then get the message that he needs to make his children show you a bit of respect - and if he doesn't HE will have to start cleaning up after them. I know it's hard to leave a mess tho but I really wouldn't do this. Like you said, they're not little children and are more than capable of clearing up after themselves

Suspect I'm too late with this tho - you're probably doing it as I type this. If so, when DP gets home I would tell him and then say "that's the last time I'm clearing up after them - in future either they do it themselves or you can do it"

So very for you

How's your hand?

Hello NAAM, no, I haven't done the bedrooms, I'll have to change one of the beds, as I've said before dp has a snoring problem and if I can't sleep I go and sleep in one of their beds.

That's another problem, the weekends they are hear I sometimes don't sleep, and I'm exsausted most of the weekend. I do try to sleep on the sofa but its not ideal. Saturday afternoon I was really tired so I told dp that I was going to try to have an hours sleep, I got into bed and was just drifting off when ss decided to play his playstation really loudly in the next room! I was so angry, I got up and asked dp why he let him do it, he said that ss said that he was going to play on it quietly!!! Yeah, right!

I even go to bed early at weekends so that hopfully I can get some sleep before dp goes to bed but the kids are so noisy and they don't go to bed until dp goes to bed I don't stand a chance!!!!

I'm waiting for dp to build a brick shed with heating in it, I'll sleep there if I have to!!!!

Cor, do I get the prize for the most ranting on MN today?

P.S. my fingers are still sore but ok, thanks.

I mean the weekends they are here

I hope my old English teacher doesn't see that last post, so many spelling mistakes and bad grammer!

Don't worry Squirrel, I rarely notice mistakes anyway cos I find that I read what I think it says

You're allowed to rant as much as you like chuck, and you have very good reason to. What would be do without this site???

Glad your fingers are a little better. As for the bedrooms, If I were you I really would just do the absolute bare minimum that you can get away with and leave the rest for your DP to do

Feeling a bit happier, I phoned dd and dgs wanted to talk to me and he said "I love you so much nanny, you are the best nanny in the whole wide world, I just love you millions and millions, you are my hunny bunchie poo poos".

Ahhhhhhhh!

Isn't it strange how the simplest of things can make you feel so different

Sad face so early in the morning?? Oh dear squirrel what's wrong? We have to go soon but I'll come on when we get back tomorrow

Thinking about you, hope it's not too