Hi, new on the forum

[chelen]

Hello, I'm a stepmum, to a primary school boy, he lives with me and my OH plus we have a toddler.

I've been lurking a while, especially at times of intense stress - how reassuring to see I'm not the only one with stepmum stress!

Anyway, thought it was time to start posting and say hi!

Hi chelen

I'm another ft sm to two boys (plus my dd and a baby on the way - 13 days to go!!)
I've never had any experience of being a stepmum other than having them ft so don't know whether it's easier or not but it can certainly be a tricky balance to get right with family dynamics so I get the "stepmum stress"
xxx

I know you didn't mean easy mj and that wasn't meant to sound like a dig at you - I've just read my post back and realise that it could have sounded that way so sorry if it came across like that!
I read some of the posts on here and think sometimes that it is easier being a ft sm than having to deal with some of the shit that others have thrown at them but then on a bad day I wish that their mum was still around so that I could have a break from them (like when my dd goes to her dad's but I still have the two boys here to look after!)
I guess the grass is always greener and all that!

Hi chelen - welcome :)

Hi Chelen, nice to meet you! I'm a part time step mum, and I'm not very good at it. I drink copious amounts of white wine, which helps!

Hi Chelan,

I just wanted to second your feeling for this forum-the girls on here are the best. I've found there's a lot of empathy and understanding to be had which is sometimes/always lacking in my home situation as a part time SM. Sometimes I'm nodding in agreement so much to a thread, I worry I'll sprain my neck!!

I must also agree with Petal02's recommendation too- wine has remarkable medicinal qualities ;) She always speaks A LOT of sense.

Anybody else on their rota weekend? I am. (Says while reaching for corkscrew)

x

Yes I am littlebird - although we never have a whole weekend off anyway. it's either till sat late afternoon or Monday morning.

I am never without a bottle of red wine and my computer - have been saved from complete insanity many times by them!

Hi Chelen

I'm a mum and stepmum too.

I have 3 of my own DS18, DD10 and DD3. DBS11 and DBS8 are with us EOW and various other times through the year. We are currently in the early stages of a residency application too which is adding stress (obviously) with DH's EX.

I am sure you will get lots of good advice and support from people here.

hi chelen

i'm a mum and pt sm, well that's what it fels like - i haven't been with dbf for verylong - about 5 and 1/2 months - but me, dbf, dbf's son and my dd all get on really well, i realise how incredibly lucky i am sometimes - and to top it off, i have met dbs mum a few times now and while we aren't buddies, i realise that she has made the effort to get on with me and even though i have found it surreal at times - i do appreciate that. she has even recently bought me a bottleof wine to say thankyou for looking after their son when they were both at work - there was no need

i hope that you are as lucky as i am

Helloooo Chelen

I am a stepmother to a DSD aged 10 and my DH and I have two small DC together. I find being a stepparent very difficult at times but not all bad and my DSD loves her siblings on her Dad's side (IYSWIM!) which has helped bring us a bit closer as a family. Sometimes I struggle with my DH's blind spots when it comes to his daughter but fortunately we are pretty good at communicating (some of the time!) which means we can normally wrestle our way through the more tricky problems.

My main issue is the lack of control I feel I have about where we live.....

Anyway, pip pip and welcome to the evils - I have cried with laughter at times at some of the posts here and it has REALLY helped me realise that a) I am not being unreasonable and b) that I am not a vile evil person

Welcome Chelen...

I'm a bit of a newbie too but there's endless advice here which you can't go wrong with.

x