Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

WWYD- about to have a baby...

100 replies

travispickles · 20/01/2011 06:45

Baby was due 17/01 so is now running late! We usually have DSS every other weekend, but have already swapped a weekend around the due date in case baby came on time. This weekend is not our w/e with DSS but the following weekend is. I have now been given the Thursday as the date for induction if it hasn;t happened by then. This will mean that I would have the baby on Thurs/Fri (all being well), but then OH will have 10 year old DSS that w/e. I would obviously like OH to be at hospital with me as much as possible that weekend (I plan to stay in for a couple of days at least)but don't know how to factor it DSS? Again - this all hypothetical as baby may come of her own accord before then (although still a bit ? about having DSS to stay for the whole weekend when we have a newborn to cope with?!) This is my first obviously, so may be a bit PFB and worrying for nothing. WWYD?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lulabel27 · 03/02/2011 21:58

Is there any news from Travis? I've just seen this and am so pleased for everyones advice and thoughts and to know I'm not being a selfish nutcase for the way I feel - I'm 41+1 today (with my first) and we have DBD (12) and DBS (9) this weekend!! We honestly thought baby would be early and this wouldn't be a problem...

And when we tried to swap earlier this week, exW informs us she's going away for the weekend and can't help!!! Aggh! Had a major stress about it all (we don't have family nearby) but we have some great friends who have said they will be on hand to come and collect them if I go into labour so I'm basically hoping ideally, nothing happens. The worst case is I go into labour and friends come and collect DBD and DBS and drop them at their Mums at 7pm on Sunday...

I'm booked to be induced Sunday evening so I must be the only pregnant person in the land who is keeping fingers crossed that it lasts that long!

Petal02 · 03/02/2011 23:09

If I were you, I'd tell your husband/partner not to bring the stepchildren to your house this weekend, regardless of what the ex thinks ...

Good luck for a safe delivery and a gorgeous baby. And I hope you can poo once you're discharged from hospital (although I still think some ladies on this thread are winding me up about this) !!!

Lulabel27 · 03/02/2011 23:27

Unfortunately life would not be worth living for DH (or me) if he didn't collect them as per the rota (her weekend away would have to be cancelled wherever it is) and we've had 5 years of difficulty with it only just sort of settling down...

Like I said we do have good friends on hand who can help so I do feel relieved that we have a back up plan. If I go into labour tomorrow afternoon (a possibility!) then they have also agreed to collect them from their mum and have them for the weekend (that's how ridiculous she the situation is)

PS I have heard about the first poo from the childbirth thread... Its not something I'm looking forward to!!

Lulabel27 · 04/02/2011 04:34

Ps I think my contractions have started!!!

Petal02 · 04/02/2011 09:49

Blimey! Maybe you've already had your baby as I'm typing this? Hope you and baby are both OK, and look forward to an update when you get chance.

If it's any consolation, lots of us on here have to adhere strictly to the rota, regardless of blizzards, earthquakes, civil unrest etc etc. Madness!

mjloveswineoclock · 04/02/2011 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cobbledtogether · 04/02/2011 11:21

Ooh, I'm wondering whether the baby has arrived too :)

ImFab · 04/02/2011 11:36

Op, I wouldn't be so sure about being able to stay in hospital for 2 days. I also think you need to calm down a bit as you seem to assume you will have difficulties with breast feeding and managing baby on your own.

Your dh won't be allowed to stay with you 24/7 after you have had the baby so you will have to accept some time alone with the baby.

pleasechange · 04/02/2011 11:57

Lulubel she's not come back so maybe in labour as we type! Hope the access business doesn't cause any additional stress this weekend. Obviously all you'll want is your DH firmly by your side, rather than driving around collecting/dropping off. Hope it goes well, good luck

Lulabel27 · 05/02/2011 00:45

Hi all! I'm typing this from the post natal ward! Had beautiful baby girl at 9.04pm this evening! Keep looking at her can't believe me and DH made her!

Anyway quick run down! Irregular contractions started at about 3.30am and I wasn't sure they were the real thing. Woke DH up at 5am and started timing them. By 11am they were every 6 minutes or so, so I told him we were going to have to tell exw there was no way he could "stick to the rota" and collect at 6pm. Amazingly she texted back and said that's fine, good luck, but she does have plans at 6pm Saturday.

To me this was great (it's all relative!)- I was in pain and just wanted to know DH could stay with me. Went to hospital at 2pm, 5cm dilated, got in the birthing pool at 5pm and gave birth at 9! Breastfed straight away and now a bit sore but ok! We called Dsd and dss shortly after birth. They're so excited to meet their sister and tbh I am really excited to get home and have them meet her tomorrow.

Basically I feel so differently post birth to how I thought I would feel that you can't predict these things. All I would say to anyone is to make sure there is a plan in place that does not rely on ex and if they do help out on the day it's a bonus!

Lulabel27 · 05/02/2011 00:46

And thank you all for thinking of me and sorry for the hijack Travis. I hope you're ok

WinterLover · 05/02/2011 07:39

Congratulations :) awwwwwww :) I'm pleased IRS worked out ok for you.

travis how are you doing?

mjloveswineoclock · 05/02/2011 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mjloveswineoclock · 05/02/2011 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WildistheWind · 05/02/2011 08:59

Lula- Congrats to you! All the best for you and family.

Petal02 · 05/02/2011 09:11

Congratulations!!!!!

Travis - hope you've also got some good news to share with us?

ImFab · 05/02/2011 09:44

"Not all labour wards or mlus are that flexible, but some are."

Then I am not totally wrong, am I?

mjloveswineoclock · 05/02/2011 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mjloveswineoclock · 05/02/2011 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 05/02/2011 19:37

Well I'm lurking again so I'll say.....

Congratulations Lulabel :)

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 05/02/2011 20:11

Congratulations Lulabel - Very exciting isn't it

How has it been with the SDC today and how are you feeling now?

Does she have a name yet?

mjloveswineoclock · 05/02/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

caramelwaffle · 08/02/2011 21:55

Congratulations Lulabel xx

RhiRhi123 · 25/02/2011 10:59

Hi,

I know you've probably got your handfull with your new baby (I hope she/he finally arrived :))I just just wondering how you got on in the end as i'm in a similar situation. I'm not due for 11 weeks but have worked it out to be our weekend with DSS and i'm already panicking as it's my first too and would really like it for once to be about me and have my DH's full attention whilst i am in labour and for a couple of days after so that we can get settled as i'm sure it is going to be overwhelming. I don't really want DSS there moaning and demanding Dh's attention and making it plain clear he's board at this special time for me as i'm sorry but this will just lead to more upset and bad feeling and make me feel even worse. It may be selfish but it's the one time i feel i'm allowed to be!(hmm)

Ewoc · 25/02/2011 12:12

Interesting reactions. Have to say I am of the opinion (from experience - Ex on honeymoon the weekend I went into a labour - planned before I got pregnant, so not being unreasonable. In theory her weekend to have DSS/D but ....) that it is not the EXW problem in the slightest. They went to GPs and came and saw babe and me in hospital, like normal siblings.

DSS is part of your family and if he was your own, then you would have a contingency plan in place, be that GPs friends etc - so why is it any different. If you had other kids then you would have to share DP with the other kids so this I am afraid is no different.

That people do no think of their steps as part of their new families but something that has to be accommodated, speaks volumes to the reasons why we have so many problems in blended families, but to criticise the EXW is a little ripe!

Flip

1 2 3 4