Do I say something about "rubbish" Christmas Presents from SD's every year?

[dietqueen]

Every year is the same we get together with DH DD x 2 take them out exchange presents - I buy them a big bag full around £50 each and DH gives them money in a card as well.

Last year I got a very cheap (£2) smelly set from wilkos and the year before a bar of chocolate, year before they "forgot" to buy something...which they thought was funny. Our DS usually gets a t shirt. They are 17 and 15.

This year we are taking them out cinema then meal so more money spent.

I have commented to DH and he tries to brush it off. It infuriates me

My DSC have never once bought me a Christmas present (or for that matter a Birthday card or present) they are now 18 and 14. DH and I get them a present each from both of us, usually amounting to about £100. DH and I don't get presents for them and expect something in return, although they usually do get DH something. They did one year give him a book which DSS mentioned their Mum's boyfriend was given, but didn't like. They are just kids (maybe not DSD now) and as their Mum didn't organise anything I don't suppose it occurred to them. We certainly won't be adjusting what we get them. It never really occurred to me they'd get me a present tbh.

On the other hand, my Grandmother sends them each a card and money every single Birthday and Christmas and they never bother to send her a thankyou note or ring or text her to say thankyou. They have never even asked DH to pass on their thanks and they always have to be asked if they recieved the card/money before they even mention it. Now that annoys me, as my Grandmother has only met them a handful of times really but is trying to include them and I feel they could at least say thankyou or send her a Christmas card or something.

My 11 year old ds spent a month and a halfs pocket money on a present for me and dh, dd(13 months) and dsd (15).... He chose two canvases and some make up when in town with his mate...

Dsd hadn't bothered at all despite getting more pocket money, she decided to buy herself a new mobile! Dh told her she had to get something for dd and ds and she moaned she had no money left so he told her he was witholding £10 of her jan pocket money to spy for two pressies which I then wrapped and labelled from her...

It is bloody irritating when one child is so thoughtful and will share everything and dsd is so selfish!

Isnt it their dad's job to buy a present from them for you? I get a small present from my dsd bought by her dad...

Also, from some of the things you've written it doesnt seem like you see them often... My dsd spends about 60% of her time living with me and her dad and she puts heaps of effort in to her mums present and would forget about her dad and I entirely if it weren't for us taking her shopping for the other one..

Oh OP... you didn't expect that as a step mum you'd be treated with any form of justice or respect did you??

Blind - we dont see them as much as we used to (used to be every w-end) but its their choice as they see friends, go to town, go ice skating on w-ends now - we cant force them but we do get together, go out for lunch on a sunday.

DSD's go to town shopping most w-ends, buy things and presents for friends so no I wouldnt expect to go with them to buy gifts they are at an age when they can do this.

It is purely down to "just cant be bothered" and "we can ask Dad for whatever, whenever we want"

Im not being perdantic (sorry sp may be wrong) but what do I say to our DS when he comments "Mummy why didnt they buy you anything"

My step children generally dont buy me presents and I dont expect them to HOWEVER I do expect them to acknowledge DH and my DSD and DS's birthdays, with a card, phone call or text. Last year they did none of the above so I refused to buy them anything DH went out and bought them a £25 voucher each which I posted (they are sulking atm because I live in my house and rules darn me!) Since then we have had a thank you from DSS2 and nothing from DSS1 he wont answer DH's calls either so until he decides to finish sulking he will get nothing from us, and that includes cancelling his mobile phone (very long and boring story!) he is 20 in feb. Once they are 16 they are old enough to have a job and put some thought in IMO