As you will see from the title this is a mini forum for those of us helping in the raising of other womens children.
Most of us who are honest will know that sometimes raising our own children is extraordinarily difficult at the best of times, and if we are honest, we may always love them but we dont always like them. If we are honest as mothers, we also know we are not perfect parents and can make some collossal clangers in raising our kids.
It is with this in mind that I ask you BEFORE you post on this thread to consider how hard doing this job with a child not biologically ours, who has been/ is going through the disruption and agony of a split in his/her family could be. We are often hated merely for not being a childs mother or father, and have to face daily issues surrounding our roles, responsibilites and rights. Like every other parent (which we are just not by birth) we have good and bad times with our step children. Sometimes we can be unreasonable, sometimes they are, but like all biological parents, we also need somewhere to vent our spleens sometimes, be unreasonable and horrid and just get it out.
This may be difficult for you to hear, particularly if you imagine your child to be the one being spoken about, however the fact that there is somewhere safe for us to get advice, support, and sometimes just a "I know what you are going through", far from showing how evil we are, shows how human we are and allows us to be better step parents and role models to the children we are involved with.
Very few step mothers set out to make mistakes or find it hard, much like very few mothers set out to screw up or make mistakes. We all do it and we all try not to, so please, if you feel the need to express your opinions to women going through this, try and do it constructively, thoughtfully and with compassion.
Yours sincerely STEP PARENTS