In 1996 i went to Wembley for two euro96 matches and it remains one of the best experiences of my life.
When England went out it was devastating and crushing.
Tonight, I'm bummed we didn't win. But not crushed.
I am very much consoled by the fact we looked like a team in a way we never have. They played well and can hold their heads high.
On balance Italy played better overall but it was England who showed the sparks of brilliance that were wonderful to watch.
And i am not left with the feeling that i had in either Italia90 or Euro96. Or our other in glorious or heartbreaking exits from a tournament.
And i think what im left with is disappointing, but still pride and most importantly a feeling that despite the result we weren't losers either. We surpassed expectations. Southgate went one better than he did. Better than we'd done in my lifetime.
I'd have loved to win.
But it wasn't to be.
I don't feel the frustration I did with those who missed. They are kids and i hope Southgate looks after them. Its not the same as it was before. Its a feeling that we are a team with a future ahead of it and there will be other opportunities - it never felt like that before. It felt like a team performing to the level it should. Giving 100%. Without the egos.
Role models who transcend football and are there for each other rather than a bunch of individuals who just happen to wear the same shirt occasionally.
And thats it. The heartbreak part isn't there. Not like previous years.
It didn't feel injust or as if we were robbed by a dreadful foul or cheat that went unnoticed by the ref. There isn't someone to blame.
I hope that I'm not alone in this. I hope that people have enjoyed the moment for what it's been at a time it was really needed. I hope the press does not rip them to shreads.
Its been a blast.