Best Sporn Stories - Share Them Here

[ChampagneCommunist]

Relive your finest moments here for the edification of your fellow sporners!

My labia lump. Pea sized. Worried it for ages, but it wouldn't budge. One night in bed i gave it a squeeze and it splatted all over my hand. I was so fucked off with myself that i'd done it under the covers and missed the splatty action.

My best was on my dog! For his whole 10 year life he had a lump on his back that would produce a column of yellow toothpaste like pus when squeezed. He wasn't overly keen on having it squeezed but there was always something there. Turned into a hobby to give it quick squeeze once a month. I could get a 2 inch long column of pus every time.

Winesoon I had a hamster who got an infected cyst and the vet said it needed to be squeezed regularly. It was very satisfying!!!

I had an ingrown hair in my arm pit. Squeezed loads of stuff out and it left a hole. I dipped my tweezers experimentally into the hole and out came the hair, it was an inch long.
My do bought me an extraction kit. I love that man. He also lets me squeeze his spots.

Ex BF had a pilonidal cyst that would fill up during the day and at night in bed I would squeeze out whatever had collected in it. Sometimes it was barely satisfying, other times it was glorious. Once I remember squeezing it and blood and pus hit the ceiling. I was both appalled and amazed. If I got lucky sometimes I would get the odd hair or a clump of hair out of it as well. God, I miss that cyst.

Also, when I was around 17/18 I developed a huge boil on my bum. I tried to avoid it as it was so painful, but one day after nearly passing out on the bus home from college I thought it was time to get it looked. It was massive and my mum had the pleasure of helping me drain it, but it got to the point where we had to go to the walk-in centre as I was in that much pain and while we were sat in the waiting room I felt it pop and my knickers were covered in lovely gooey pus. I had a couple of similar ones later in the same area and found hot flannels the best way to draw them out -- and to keep squeezing until you get to the core in the middle!

Sadly, I don't seem to get spots these days - at least not satisfying ones. My DP is scoured regularly, though.

Need more...best thread ...ever...

Two words....Bartholins Cyst.

It started on a Sunday. A pea sized lump which was a bit ouchy. I prodded it a bit but showed no signs of yielding to left it alone. The next 3 days were busy as I was running a major 3 day training course for 100 delegates. I was aware that the lump was getting bigger and more painful and I was applying hot compresses every morning and evening but I hadn't much time to think about it. By the Wednesday, I couldn't sit down and the lump was now the size of an egg.

For some reason, despite the agony, I got ready to go to the gym. I was just having a wee before leaving the house and when I wiped there was a tiny smear of blood on the tissue. I hopped into the bath, placed a shaving mirror on the bottom of the bath and squeezed....

Ffffffthuppp.

It splattered everywhere. I was very glad I was standing in the bath. Glorious rivers of pus, blood and goo flowed towards the plug hole. It was like the shower scene from Psycho with added pus. The relief was immense. Once I'd squeezed it dry, i slapped on some Savlon and headed to the gym because I'm stupid like that...I'm lucky it didn't get infected and cause my fanjo to fall off.

Despite the indescribable pain, I regularly hope that I'll get another one day.

My ds ear. Last year whilst on holiday in Cornwall he started complaining of a sore ear. I threatened him with death if he squeezed anything without me to over see proceedings asked him---- to let me have a look and there just inside was a glorious red raised spot with a white head in the middle. But it was a bastard to get to so I got a teaspoon and gently pushed the handle end up to the spot and then squeezed his ear inwards and it popped and shot all down the handle of the teaspoon. The following day it had filled up again and so I repeated the process. . Happy holiday memories.

I had a sebaceous cyst just underneath my earlobe. It was about the size of a pea and stayed there for years doing nothing until one day it started to itch very slightly and developed a slight pointy shape. I squeezed it gently and it came out like silly string all over the mirror. It took about 4 loooong squeezes for it to even slow down. I was shocked at the amount of stuff that came out! Because it was next to my ear I could hear it go. By the next day it had filled right up again and I got another big load of stuff out. After that it was diminishing returns for a few days and then I left it alone to heal. It never came back.

I love this thread!!!! How old are kids when they get acne?

OH had a lump on the back of his neck. He let me prod it a few times but nothing doing. One day there was a little brown bit on it and I managed to get some smelly stuff out. There was quite a lot but it looked like it was all coming out of one follicle and he wouldn't let me at it with the scalpel. At that point it didn't look red or swollen.

After a few days it did redden up and when I had a go at it it hit the patio windows . It was very oozy for quite a while but was too painfull for me to have a another proper go, the bugger had a few goes himself in the shower. It started to get bigger before Christmas and he promised me another go (I've saved the calendar with his promise on it) but It wouldn't yield.

I've bought more lancets so going to see if I can have another go. It was magnificent when it went red and pussy but he was too wussy to let me go at it proper

The crusty bit was Tea Tree

Boyfriend just borrowed my iPad and the internet page I had left open was google images 'boil on groin'. Had to explain that I was just searching for some sporn.... Luckily he knows I'm a freak or it might have put him off!

Ok, own up.... Who found this thread and immediately did a quick look through for photos first not me blush

I had a sore big toe from an ingrowing nail. I left it and it started to turn yellow Managed to get my nail clippers in at the correct angle to cut the nail diagonally, the shard of nail came out followed by lots of yellow pus. Yum!

DS had an umbilical granuloma when his cord fell off. Looked awful with raw red skin. I was assured by Dr/HV that it wouldnt even hurt him and to bathe it to clean any pus away. After 2 weeks, no improvement and a google, I saw that salt directly onto it would heal it almost immediately. So I liberally applied some salt and taped a cotton pad over it for an hour or so. Completely utterly dry. It scabbed up to a lovely dark red scab and fell off after a few days....