Have you dealt with Nursery Run Dramas and Tears At Drop-Off? Share your stories with Rob and Josh from Parenting Hell - £200 voucher to be won

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In celebration of the launch of Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe’s new podcast Parenting Hell, Mumsnet are offering the chance to win a £200 voucher. Has your DC clung to your legs at the school gates, or have they thrown an epic temper tantrum when you forgot their favourite snack? Let the guys know about your funny tales in the thread below.

• Post your stories in the thread below to be entered into a prize draw*
• One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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We had to cross a pelican crossing to get to nursery. The highlight of my son's day was " pressing the button ". If another child got there first he would get desperately upset so we would have to wait until the lights changed and then press the button again. One of the many varied and ridiculous reasons I was late for work when my children were small

Post Covid, we were embarking on our first trip abroad as a family of 4 (2 girls aged 3 and 8 months) on a long haul flight to Thailand. My Mum was supposed to be flying with us to help out but was struck down with Covid two days before we flew. My eldest, started vomited 2 days before we flew but then seemed ok. The morning before we flew, I started to pack - many of you will question why I left if so late but I thought my Mum would be on hand to look after the girls so we could pack. That morning, I started to feel a bit queasy… which turned into diarrhoea and vomiting. I powered on.

As the taxi arrived to take us to the airport, my youngest awoke from her nap covered in bright orange vomit, whilst my husband was trapped on the toilet by his awful bowels.
We powered on…

In the taxi, both children vomited. When we arrived at the airport, my husband had to spend 30 mins in the toilet again - both ends this time!

We finally got on the plane and the little one vommed all over me and the blankets requiring a costume change for both of us.

Not a journey to be repeated. 😫

In a very very quiet GP waiting room.
About a dozen people in that waiting room quietly reading/on phones…
Toddler son swinging legs on chair looks up grins at me (he was 3 but knew exactly what he was doing) and asks me loudly “did you just trump because I can smell it”.
Heads look up from phones/magazines like fucking meet cats…
What could I do? I had and it was stunningly silent and it did stink but dear god.
How do you teach a toddler loyalty?

You know your day is going to be shit when you cut the toast into squares and they want fucking triangles.
You just throw them through the nursery doors after that carry on don’t you then skip to the car and sing the wheels on the bus until you remember you don’t fucking have to.

I am very much, what some might call 'horologically challenged' meaning I am perpetually late. Always late. For literally everything. I try so very hard, but there never seems to be enough minutes in the day. Unfortunately my son has the opposite problem & he likes to be early for everything, or at the very least on time. This results in him hurrying me out the door on a regular basis. Nursery wasn't such an issue as there was no register as such, I would just drop him on my way to work - school however - different kettle of fish. I now have the hang of it - but it is an ongoing challenge & there have been tears from us both!!

My eldest has no filter and can always be relied on to make you wonder whether to laugh or cry.

He had a phase of whenever we went in an elevator he'd announce in a "carry on" type of voice "GOOOOOING DOWN!" He could never understand what the grown ups found so funny. 🤣

He'd often come out with stuff that would make you want the ground to open up and swallow you e.g.

"Urgh WHAT is that disgusting smell?!" In close quarters with only one other person.

"Mummy is that a man or a lady?"

"Urgh. I don't want to talk to this kid!"

Arriving at a party "What time are we leaving?"

"That's a terrible idea." responding to exes terrible suggestion while I wondered to myself how to word that it was a terrible idea without an arguement ensuing. Thanks ds1.🤣

"It's nice to see you but don't touch me."

"Mummy you're really old now. I'm a bit worried you might die soon." my 40th birthday 🤦

What's your favourite thing about school? "Home time." 😳🤣

My first sobbed, screamed and had to be peeled off me every day at nursery for the first 2 years! The first day was obviously the hardest - I arrived to pick him back up at 6pm, peered through the window and he was laying on a sheepie rug, stroking it and still sobbing... Looking back I have no idea how i survived the guilt for those two years.

My son was very clingy and super difficult to get into school due to his autism. Every day I would basically coax and bribe him, and he would be passed from my hand to his teacher's hand with lots of tears. One day though, he just strolled in without looking back. Somewhat shocked but proud, I strolled back across the playground to the gates with all the other parents. I didn't get far before my son's little hand was in mine and the teaching assistant a couple of steps behind. He'd walked into the classroom, straight through it and back out the fire exit on the opposite side.

Last year my then 3 year old got a bit obsessed with Bluey and heard Bandit, the dad (who is a dog!) say something about having "bumworms". A few days later 3 year old looked up at me and said in a very serious voice, "mummy, I think I've got..... BUMWORMS!". I made the fatal mistake of laughing as it was so unexpected. He of course then kept repeating I've got bumworms. I told him he wasn't to say it at nursery. Of course the next week just before going to sleep one night he sat up, looked me straight in the eye and said "I told Clare (his keyworker) I had bumworms." She never mentioned it, and neither did I!

Parenting hell happened last week however, a dose of mumsnet had me comfortable in thinking that I'm not alone in dealing with nightmare that is the toddler years!

The location was nursery and drop off was meant to be simple and smooth as I had a train to catch shortly after drop-off.
However, as I took off my 2 year old sons coat I noticed a pair of my lacy red ( thankfully clean) ] knickers tucked into his sleeve ( Lord knows how they got there). I quickly went to shove them into my pocket but my son was having none of it and started to tug on them. Realising he was failing miserably at tug of war he screamed, cried and kicked, prompting a staff member to come out and check everything was ok.
My response was to insist to the nursery staff that mummy's lacy red and black knickers do not come everywhere with us ...I'm not sure they were convinced though and im sure im now known as " that mum" 😁

My daughter loved her first day at nursery and went in no bother not even a glance back or a wave x
But omg the next day she kicked and screamed shouting how unfair it was that she was being forced to go again!
She was arguing with the teacher and headteacher saying she was a girl and girls know everything so there was nothing more they could possibly teach her 🤣.
She's eight now and still thinks she knows everything 😩 .I'm a little convinced she might be related to Donald Trump with her attitude and ego 😂

It was a calm start to the day. My 12 month old DD sat on the floor, playing nicely with some toys, whilst I read a newspaper and sipped my morning tea (pre-internet days!) I glanced over to check on her, from time to time, and all was well. Until the moment I saw her LICKING A DEAD BIRD that the cat must have brought in, and secreted behind the toy box!!! ARRRRGH! There was blood on DD's lip, and a feather. I've never moved so fast in my life, snatching the unfortunate bird from her grasp. Still makes me shudder to this day.

When my son was at nursery I often struggled to get him out the door in time as he was very temperamental and slow at getting ready. One day we slept in very late and I quickly grabbed a summer boob tube dress for myself and whipped it on.

Once at nursery I spoke to my sons key worker about how stressful motherhood was, she was very sympathetic to me always being late and struggling to get him dressed. Cue my son running up to me and yanking on my dress as I spoke. Yup, I was stood at the glass window in front of all the kids and nursery staff - with my boobs out. Key worker didn’t know where to look 🤣😅

My son is in primary three and I always wear bras to drop off now 😅😅

Just a quick warning to those of you who trust your own parents to pick up your children from school. If your mother or father suffers from face blindness (easily diagnosed by them walking past you in Aldi without a flicker of recognition) do not send your child to school in a new coat without warning them. My DGS was mortified when nobody claimed him as his Reception teacher presented his charges one by one at the gate, despite said teacher smiling and nodding over at his Granny expectantly, the smile faltering and eventually dying away as he got nothing but a friendly grin back. It was only when all the other moppets had been claimed that said Granny realised that by process of elimination the boy in the bright red coat must be her darling grandson.

Cue one very grumpy boy (“you’re supposed to wave at me, Granny!”) and one very bewildered young teacher.

My sons first day of his new nursery after the summer holiday, at pick up I was called to the side to inform me my son head head butted two staff members and the wall. Thankfully this seems to be a one off event for my normally quite placid son.

We have a merry go round of whoever doesn’t get to press the door bell refuses to go in and has to be prised off us

Mine were usually crying because I was abandoning them at play school and then a few hours later crying because I'd come to pick them up. Can't win!

Arrived at drop off, got out of the car, rang the doorbell to nursery. Realised I had left my son in the car and just brought his bag with me.

My oldest daughter seemed a bit sluggish and said she didnt feel good but I thought she was ok for nursery. I thought she was putting it on.

When I got her out the car she vomited in my hair and on my suede skirt.

Lesson learned. Listen to your kids.

I regularly get yelled at on the school walk for either stepping in lava, or making them step in lava. There are very specific paving stones we are allowed to tread on to be safe. I have had to apologise to a few people now as we jump in front of them to avoid the lava. Who knew it would be such a hazard?

One of mine had an epic tantrum because the cat couldn't go to nursery with her.

Negotiating that DS could not take the snowball he had collected on the walk to nursery into nursery with him - I said i would take it home - I kept it in the freezer until I picked him up - only to find he did not want it any more - grrrrr

I have managed to convince my OH of looking after our 1 year old little girl every Friday while I work. We call it daddy care day. This is miraculous as he’s a nervous wreck round her as she’s such a sassy diva and takes no prisoners. It’s her way or the highway in this house… send help!
After the usual disasters of not being able to handle tights… quote ‘I don’t do tights put her in trousers I understand those’ he took her to a play group at the local church.
Still wanting to live his pre-baby life he was wearing his favourite hat… a Bud Light cap. Upon entry and realising the church goers were eyeballing him thinking he looked like he should be at a pub rather than play group. He got worried but rather than take the hat off he just turned it round… broadcasting the logo to everyone behind him and making him look like a skater boy!
Needless to say he was the coolest parent at that baby group that day!

My son grabbed my shoe during a drop off to nursery and refused to return it. Had to go to work with one shoe. Luckily had spare shoes at work. He had apparently kept it with him all day.

My daughter wore fancy dress outfits exclusively between the ages of 2-4. Getting those fairy wings in the car seat on a morning school run was not fun…🙄