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How do you parent the internet? Share your tips for a chance to win a £200 voucher

81 replies

BellaMumsnet · 20/06/2022 11:32

Created for NetHabit

This sponsored discussion is now closed.

Are you worried about your children’s use of the internet, or how much independence to give them? Do you feel equipped to keep them safe on social media? However you manage your children's time and safety on the internet, share your thoughts below.

How to take part:

· Post your tips on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw
· One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice

Here’s what NetHabit has to say:

“We created the NetHabit app to simplify the support and guidance parents need to improve their children’s safety online. Finding a balance between enabling the benefits of the online world and keeping children safe can be tough. From securing device settings, to opening up a dialogue and keeping informed of new threats, we create a tailored list of to-do’s to help make the world of online safety simple for your family.”

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

Insight T&C’s apply

OP posts:
LittleDeeAndME · 28/06/2022 11:51

Don't set up parent controls, talk to your children instead! They will access the Internet when you are not with them, teach them how to stay safe, don't ban them from anything!
Help them spell words before they search.
Help them identify what makes them feel uncomfortable and when something happens that makes them feel that way, be available for them to tell.
Supervise Internet activity - a biggie.
Keep passwords, etc safe & don't leave a computer logged on especially if they are logged on to a social networking website like Moshi Monsters or Facebook when older.

Speak to people online as you would speak to people if they were standing in front of you.
Don't make friends with strangers online.
Embrace their online world.

ButterOllocks · 28/06/2022 11:54

My children have all been given talks about internet safety at school and we also attended talks given by their schools. Subsequently we discussed what had been raised and how we felt these issues affected us. Children are not allowed to go on the internet/tablet/mobile unless given permission - They do not have internet enabled phones/tablets/laptops. DD has an iPad which she uses in her own room. I am a friend of hers on Facebook and she is very responsible & does not post images of her friends faces unless she has their consent (I know this as some friends only appear as handprints as those are their family's rules).e. We have had lots of talks about how people are not necessarily who they claim to be on FB/texts and that anything you write electronically can exist forever. They also know that if they google something inappropriate it will show up in 'history' and that if 'history' is clear they are in big trouble. Laptops are only used in the kitchen/diningroom/sitting room/playroom.

Mrskettleson · 29/06/2022 16:20

Social media is poison.
There may come a time when my kids will feel pressured to use it but I hope they will see that it is not necessary in their lives. My DS already understands from teachings at school and what we have discussed, that it can be toxic. That strangers online may not be who they appear to be. That friendly people in real life may be vile online.
We are all plenty aware of the dangers, from bullying to dangerous fads to misinformation.
We should lead by example in our own internet usage, and we should never forget to monitor what our children (including teens and young adults) are accessing or assume they understand internet safety.
Communication every step of the way. Which may be easier said than done especially with older kids, but every horror story the likes of online grooming should keep us vigilant and asking questions.
The internet can be such a useful tool, but it is not a babysitter and it is not a friend.

welshmardymum · 30/06/2022 14:35

I work in IT and my husband is in education so we have a pretty good handle on what is out there and the dangers and we still sometimes miss things. I make sure they are using kids versions of everything - i have security software that lets me see what they are accessing and they have to get my permission to access certain sites - i also educate them on what they might see and what they do if that happens.

Cotswoldmama · 30/06/2022 14:39

We try to limit screen time, which can be hard whilst trying to juggle work and running a house. I also try to only let them use things like YouTube downstairs where I can monitor them. They're quite young at the moment so I do t need to worry yet about giving out information etc but more about ensuring they're watching appropriate content.

BigMamageddon · 30/06/2022 21:31

There is lots of good advice here that I don’t want to repeat, I will say, that one of the extra things I do is in regard to the big problems surrounding the powerful algorithms, which we know to be a huge problem for kids and adolescents and the way their brains work. To balance this, I have my daughter’s accounts on social media on my own phone. Periodically, I watch certain content and search phrases or topics, in order to change up the algorithms and ensure she is drawing in healthier content.

Trynamakeadollar · 01/07/2022 10:43

My children are only allowed to use devices for homework during the week and for a few hours on the weekend.

I check up now and again and check their history, but not all the time.

I have adblock and children setting on their devices also

SuzCG · 01/07/2022 13:04

The easy bit is when they're younger and you have more access and control - and also school are talking to them about keeping safe online. They soak it and take it all seriously. Then their teenage hormones and 'I know it all attitude' kicks in, they gain access to social media - and quite frankly you have no idea what they are doing!

hopezibah1 · 01/07/2022 18:36

Despite all the technology advances for helping to keep families safe online, we are struggling to find a suitable solution especially as the kids have got older. Before it was only gadgets and devices downstairs so we could keep an eye on everything but now they are older and have gadgets in their rooms it is harder. Switching wifi on and off at certain times for certain users becomes a hassel for us. Am yet to find an ideal solution that works. The nintendo switch is great as that has built in timings for turning off at certain times and after a certain amount of gaming. I feel they all understand about internet safety in terms of keeping safe online with not giving out any private information etc. that has been done through discussion with them and what they learn from school.

kateandme · 03/07/2022 04:58

To be the uncool bad parent and keep them off it for as long as possible.and then strict rule,no nudging from the start.i no they will push it,but they also need to feel safe from you too. and often in parenting the safety comes from knowing you've got walls strong enough to steady,contain or catch you. The kids no they can have that with us,though on bad days it just look like we are being unfair.
We research the usual firewalls and protection.
Keep communication open.
Show them the fairness from the start.we have lots of body positive accounts to follow,lots of body diversity so the young girls can know from the beginning g what to look out for.on these pages they show you how models fajr there poses.they show them any body type is beautiful.they show the apps and ohotoshopping done to EVERY single picture that makes them feel bad.the vulnerability especially on females to go down the disordered shaming road online is horrific.
We teach them about catfishing and about being contacted.
Always tell them they can show and say anything to us.we will never judge or go against them for what they see,receive or mistake but we've got to no in order to sort it together.
There's days off.there are hours off
We make sure there is life outside being online.thays a must because it can get incredibly isolating In the web.

JulesJules · 03/07/2022 10:27

Throughout their schooling, my DC have had lots of information about safety online, so I would say use the resources available from school. Both at first school and middle school there were workshops available for parents too which were really useful.

oootapasooo · 03/07/2022 13:30

I taught my child from a young age a lot about being safe online and all online activities would be with my supervision, this helped a lot as my child would demonstrate in front of me how to handle lots of different situations.

Magicshoppingtrolley · 03/07/2022 14:30

Make sure security settings are installed on all devices, devices used in a communal space in the house…not the bedroom. Setting usage limits and lots of conversations about staying safe.

Emilylouise23 · 04/07/2022 18:44

At the moment my kids are too young to have unsupervised access to the internet. I plan to have regular discussions with them around internet safety and use parental filters. I know it will get challenging as they get older though and realise some of their friends parents have more relaxed internet rules.

ohdannyboy · 07/07/2022 13:25

A login for the children -with others for mom and dad. Screen time set, and parental controls with your ISP. Laptop stays in the dining room, with password protection on our accounts. I have discussed facebook and instagram with my DD and she is aware of the restrictions that I will put on it when/if she is allowed to access this. Cyberbullying is something which I did not encounter - but I want to protect my children from this.

UnityO · 07/07/2022 23:49

They have done lots of online safety courses/ work at school.

Parental controls and time restrictions for the younger DC's devices and regular checks by me to see what he's been up to.

Eldest is a teen so more trust there, I did used to check regularly but not so much now. I have his passwords so can access his devices. I've not found any cause for concern yet!

Angiemum24 · 11/07/2022 09:01

We are a very techy household. We have two engineers living here and 4 going on 5 PC's. Our rules are:

  1. Internet comes off 8:30 on school nights 9:30 at weekend's/holidays. (This is for our older kids who are 10 and 15)

2.we have honest discussions about Internet safety and how much we show online.

  1. No social media accounts until 13 (we must be able to monitor these.)
Any social media accounts made without our knowledge will result in severe punishment such as removal of all tech for a long time.
  1. Younger kids (our 10 and 4 year old) are only able to watch YouTube supervised or watch YouTube kids.
  1. We have banned Alexa from our house.
burwellmum · 11/07/2022 11:04

I have the computer in a room off the kitchen where I can keep an eye on what is going on and electronic devices are not allowed in bedrooms after catastrophic problems with an older child.

sharond101 · 11/07/2022 20:57

Kids have dedicated screentime from 6.30pm. They can choose to do whatever they please from then, often choosing to stay out to play but outwith those times, except on special occasions screentime is off limits.

RunningKatie · 12/07/2022 09:14

Screen time is restricted, on the laptop, I have to give permission for them to access websites.
For gaming, they are only allowed friends we know, and I monitor the chat.
All tech is kept downstairs.
I know it's going to change as we hit secondary school age, we already get a bit of "everyone else can go on as long as they like etc."
We also have tech-free holidays, only allowed phones for booking activities or looking info up. It's a good break for all of us.

elkiedee · 12/07/2022 11:50

AJR85 · 24/06/2022 11:45

Hello, this is my first post on here - I’m 5 months PP and I’m really worried about the amount of hair I’m losing! I’m scared to wash it even brush my hair as huge amounts of it is coming out! I sent a pic to a few of my mum friends and even they thought it was a large amount to lose. I have thick hair (usually) and barely lost any when pregnant, but this has me worried. How much hair is too much? How do you tell? Thank you…any help appreciated!

Welcome to Mumsnet. But I think you need to look at the forum thread discussions and start a new thread in an appropriate section, eg the post natal threads - with your question. You can also see if other threads in the same section are relevant to you.

I found that my hair got thicker and nicer during pregnancy but sadly a lot of it did fall out.

elkiedee · 12/07/2022 11:56

Everyone else is apparently much stricter than me. My kids are teenagers and are studying Computer Science at school, and while I'm reasonably IT literate I don't believe that I can effectively limit them. DS1 is doing a GCSE in the subject and it may well be one of the subjects DS2 chooses too.

DS1 (now 15) was bought a phone by his grandfather at 12, nearly 13, just before lockdown, and it was a lifeline for him. He was also bought a laptop by one of my sisters.

DS2 was bought a phone by his grandfather just after his 13th birthday in February, and my other sister bought him a Chromebook for schoolwork in 2020.

They both did lessons online from home when schools were closed, and DS1 kept in touch with his friends. I think this has affected my view but I was always a bit less strict than everyone here claims to be.

elkiedee · 12/07/2022 11:58

SuzCG · 01/07/2022 13:04

The easy bit is when they're younger and you have more access and control - and also school are talking to them about keeping safe online. They soak it and take it all seriously. Then their teenage hormones and 'I know it all attitude' kicks in, they gain access to social media - and quite frankly you have no idea what they are doing!

Yes, this is much more where I'm at too.

Byrdie · 13/07/2022 17:54

We have a mesh wifi thing and an app. It's called deco and as you may be able to tell, someone else set it up for me! The app is good though. You can control times the wifi is on for different users and assign them devices so all devices for that user are controlled with one click. There are also time limits but they aren't as good as I think they pick up times apps use wifi in the background. The whole things works really well though. We also award the kids extra wifi (either 15, 30 or 60 mins at a time) for chores or help. It's pretty anal... I write down the chores for the day on a whiteboard with the time they earn that they can choose to do. Things like clean bathroon, tidy room, have all homework done, lay table, make dinner (they are different for different aged kids! I have a range!) it works for us and they get a standard amount of about 1.5 hours each day if they complete their own chores. The 8 year old has things like 'try a new food at dinner' and the eldest one has things like 'go for a walk' or 'sort laundry'.

tulips27 · 14/07/2022 11:43

An important point IMO is that your knowledge and awareness of how to protect your children isn't a static thing, it needs to be constantly kept up to date like security patches. If not, your protection is only as good as your last update.