Share your tips for buying a first home with the help of family - £200 voucher to be won. This discussion is sponsored by Santander.

[LibbyMumsnet]

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The ‘Santander Life after lockdown: the future of UK homeownership’ survey found that over half (52%) of first time buyers see raising a deposit as the biggest barrier to home ownership today. Parents and grandparents are playing an increasingly important role in helping their children get onto the property ladder. If you had or will have financial support from family members to buy your first home, we'd like to hear your experiences.

Here’s what Santander have to say: “When thinking about buying your first home family are often the first ones to turn to for support, with parents and grandparents playing an increasingly critical role. But it can be tricky knowing where to start. So, our Step up: Helping family to buy information pages on santander.co.uk contain a wealth of information to help you get started.”

Did your family support you in buying your first home, or are they planning to? What type of support did they give you - perhaps a loan towards the deposit, or a contribution towards moving costs? How did getting help make you feel? Were there highs and lows, or impacts on your relationship with your family?

Share your experiences on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

[Wakeywakey86]

Me and my (now) husband didn't have any help from family in buying our first home. To save up we moved into a house share and saved as much as we could each month. It was tough to save such a huge amount of money but we are proud of our home. I would love to help my own children onto the property ladder when they are grown (only 2 and under) we have made a start by putting their child benefit into an account and hope to be able to continue this, we will help where we can. We aren't bothered we didn't have the help, our parents don't have the money. We are hopeful our financial situation will be different, but you never know what life will throw your way!

[ohfook]

We were lucky enough to get on a stair casing scheme for our first home (rent but accruing equity in the house with each months payment) by the time we moved we had about 15 % equity in that home which served as a 10% deposit on our new home. It was a life saver as saving up a deposit is incredibly hard depending on where in the country you live.
I really think there should be some system whereby if you can prove you've paid X amount rent without defaulting for over a year you can get access to a zero deposit mortgage providing the monthly mortgage payment is lower than the rent you we're paying. For example a landlord confirms I've been paying £1k a month rent for the past 18 months then bank agree to a mortgage with monthly payments of £750 a month. Many people don't have parents who are in a position to allow them to live at home rent free and sky high rents put them at a huge disadvantage when it comes to saving for a deposit.

[FoxesAtDawn]

I had no support from family, however I did use the Help to Buy ISA which pushed me to the deposit amount a little sooner which was a great help.

[idleweiss]

We have just bought our first family home. We have been saving for years and made the decision to move out of London. Both our families stepped forward and gave us a sum of money each towards the deposit. They said they would rather help us now than leave a sum in a will later on in life..which was a huge help to us. If parents/family members are willing to help out, may it be gifting money or lending money...don't be proud enough to take it..we were at first but their generosity and help has made a huge difference to us. We will always be grateful and ready to help them when we can.

[DoneAdulting]

My husband and I had been renting for nearly ten years. When my brother moved out of my parents house they offered the bedroom to us to live in while we saved a deposit. We lived there for 18 months and it was tough but it's the best decision we ever made now. Now we have a house in the location we wanted to stay in and we've made renovations that mean the house has gone up in value, so we will be able to buy something bigger soon.

So while my parents weren't able to help us financially, they did what they could by letting us live with them for a pittance.

[dadshere]

Our family were not in a position to help us financially, but they turned up to physically help us move, which saved us a lot in removal fees.

[pinknsparkly]

No assistance from our family. My husband's wouldn't have been able to afford it and any help from my parents would have been held over our heads forever more, so not a bad thing that we had to do it ourselves! We lived in grotty houseshares to save, and then took out a mortgage designed for you to rent out rooms, and included the rental income in the affordability assessment. We'd been living together for almost a decade before we ever lived together just the two of us

[Oldowl]

DH's lovely grandmother helped us to buy our first home. His lovely mum is doing the same for our DC.

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I'd recommend making a contract, whether formal or informal, detailing the money given and the expectation going forward - will it be paid back, will they have any involvement in the property etc

It will seem like you don't need it as its "just between family/friends" but it can prevent you falling out in the future

Luckily NOT speaking from experience there ❤️ but I know people who have done this and had issues down the line, I always tell people that I know it doesn't feel necessary but it is worth it to protect your friendship/family

[DottySpottyZigzag]

My amazing Grandma put money away for me, plus I received a lump sum when she passed away. We wouldn't have managed to buy our first place without it - moved in a few weeks ago. I also managed to save a lot of money during my teacher training and as I got pay rises and promotions would try to keep my spending the same. I ended up putting at least £500 a month away.

DH saved £200 a month into a Help to Buy ISA and doing that via direct debit really helped him and it ended up being a fair chunk too. But would have been impossible without my Grandma's money.

[pyjamapj]

My mom supported us by contributing towards the deposit, so that we could apply for a mortgage and buy our house. We are very grateful as it would have been impossible to get a loan or buy a house.

[AnneShirley18]

My Mum and Dad helped me with some money towards my deposit as they saw it was considerably harder for a single person to get on the property ladder as compared to my four siblings who were all married young and had two incomes when saving for a deposit and when negotiating mortgages. It didn't sit well with me A to be singled out differently and B to accept such a large sum from my parents but they were right I couldn't have done it without them for at least another 5 years, all the while house prices were going up and I would have been paying rent as dead money. My paternal grandmother died when my dad was 69 leaving him his inheritance. My mum and dad struggled a lot when we were young and he said he could have done with the financial help then not at 67. He said my deposit is my inheritance as he feels its more useful to me now. Made me feel a bit better but I've still been saving to pay him back and am quarter of the way there. Its surprisingly easier to save once you have a place of your own.

[db33]

We've both worked hard for years and were paying almost £1000 a month in rent so could have afforded mortgage repayments but never had enough money left at the end of the month to save the amount needed for a deposit.
My in-laws very kindly gifted us a generous lump sum to use as a deposit for our first home. Without them we would have struggled to get on the property ladder for years and would have continued paying someone elses mortgage instead of our own.
We will be forever grateful to them for their kindness and generosity.

[pepperaunt]

We were very lucky! Although we were both earning good fairly good salaries we had no savings yet. My parents gave us some money towards the deposit and DH’s parents loaned us some. When it came time to extend the lease (leasehold) we never would have been able to do it without a loan from my DF (quite a bit of money so loan documents signed and repayment schedule agreed)

[Thimphu]

No - they wouldn’t have been able to afford to even if they wanted to.
DH1 had £5k saved from his Nan (she had saved this for him but not specifically for this purpose) and that was our deposit (1996, so plenty!). My Nan died a couple of years later (and I inherited as her only child predeceased her) so we could have used that too but at the time you could get 100% mortgages so we would probably have bought when we did anyway without his Nan’s money.
DH2 had no parental help but won a car in his early twenties, which he sold and used as a deposit.
We have saved a fairly sizeable deposit for our DC - some they know about and some they don’t.
We’ve saved a deposit for our DC (some they know about, some they don’t - only teenagers at the moment).

[MrsFrTedCrilly]

We aren’t from the sort of background where parents can gift sums of money. My parents helped in practical ways with decorating and odd jobs and also with childcare.
I think homeownership will be out of the reach of so many people.

[livelyredjellybean]

We’ve been extremely fortunate in regards to help from our family. I inherited when my grandparents passed which went towards our deposit. My DH’s parents then surprised us with a lump sum towards home improvements, as well as practical help refinishing our now beautiful home. They also allowed us to live with them for 3 years rent free to allow us to save. My own parents were too far away to be any practical support sadly but were always on the phone with advice and support. We’re an extremely lucky little family, totally in love with our beautiful new home with plenty of space for our gorgeous girls to run riot now!

[GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy]

I have been very fortunate. My parents loaned me the deposit for my first house, and I paid them back monthly for the next 3 years. This was an inexpensive house in the north east. Now I'm looking to move down south and the deposit on the new house will likely be much larger. Luckily they will do the same again. I will pay them back from the proceeds of this house and any shortfall on a monthly basis. As I say, I'm very lucky and appreicative.

[haliborange0verdose]

God, no!! Neither of us was ever handed anything on a plate as we didn't come from wealthy or even middle class families. My mum was 65 and living on a widow's pension when we bought our first home, and both of DH's parents were dead - no inheritances as they had only ever rented. We saved up our deposit ourselves. For context, it was only £2k - house cost £40k in late 90s - but at the time I was earning under £7k and DH about £13k so it still took a while to save up.

[tubbycustardtummyache]

No, but it was 20 years ago and the builders were so desperate to sell their flats that they were offering to pay the deposit and stamp duty for us.
Plus house prices were 30-40% of what they would be now. I fully intend to help my kids with deposits, it’s so difficult to buy now.

[MrsK]

DP took an International secondment & I moved back in with my Mum. This way we were able to save towards a deposit

[ladymodjo]

I wouldn't have been able to buy my first home without the help of my parents. I'm very fortunate that they were able to pay for my deposit, otherwise I would never have been able to live in London.

[ElevenBells]

No. And it meant that we couldn’t be fussy about area or the size/state of the property. This was over 10 years ago. If I was looking to buy my first property now I wouldn’t stand a chance.
I think it’s appalling that
a) the majority of first time buyers can only buy a home with the financial support of family members and
b) this is accepted as the norm and not recognised (in my circles anyway) as being the massive privilege it is and hugely detrimental for social mobility.

[MrsPussinBoots]

My parents and grandparents gave me an interest free loan that could take 30 years to pay back and then did all of the renovations like wallpaper, carpets, painting outside etc themselves. I could never have done it without them.

[BellaVida]

No help financial or otherwise- wasn’t offered and we would never ask.

To be honest we wouldn’t have expected it as we were both working full time. We knew we just had to stay in low rent accommodation long enough to save up enough for a deposit. Then we had to make compromises by buying an affordable house in a less desirable area which needed work doing and replaced the kitchen, bathroom etc as and when we could afford to.
I’m amazed at how many people have had financial help on here!