Share your tips for buying a first home with the help of family - £200 voucher to be won. This discussion is sponsored by Santander.

[LibbyMumsnet]

This discussion is now closed

The ‘Santander Life after lockdown: the future of UK homeownership’ survey found that over half (52%) of first time buyers see raising a deposit as the biggest barrier to home ownership today. Parents and grandparents are playing an increasingly important role in helping their children get onto the property ladder. If you had or will have financial support from family members to buy your first home, we'd like to hear your experiences.

Here’s what Santander have to say: “When thinking about buying your first home family are often the first ones to turn to for support, with parents and grandparents playing an increasingly critical role. But it can be tricky knowing where to start. So, our Step up: Helping family to buy information pages on santander.co.uk contain a wealth of information to help you get started.”

Did your family support you in buying your first home, or are they planning to? What type of support did they give you - perhaps a loan towards the deposit, or a contribution towards moving costs? How did getting help make you feel? Were there highs and lows, or impacts on your relationship with your family?

Share your experiences on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

[TangledTrees]

Both sets of parents lent us money towards our deposit, and when we moved in we repaid them before spending anything on doing up the house itself. It was important to us that we were financially independent asap.
My own dc will get any help we can give/afford when they want to buy their own homes. I hope it will be enough to help them to get on the ladder.

[MotherofPiggies]

My in laws very kindly gave us some money towards our second house in order to be able to afford a slightly bigger house once the kids came along. My mum and dad helped us in more practical ways - my dad was an electrician and has rewired three of our houses. I’m intending to downsize in order to be able to help both of our children with a deposit to buy a house when the time comes.

[Cotswoldmama]

My mum and husbands mum helped out by letting us live rent free in their houses so we could save up as much as possible to get on the property ladder. I recommend really looking at your outgoings and try to minimise them. And even when you're on the ladder, try to be sensible and save as much as you can before having kids. Our first property was a flat, which didn't cost much per month a d we were both working full time, I regret not budgeting and saving more when I had the ability to. Once we moved to a 3 bed house and my income went down after our first son we weren't able to save so much and the mortgage was more of a struggle.

[BrieAndChilli]

My husbands Nan died so MIL gifted us the deposit from her inheritance. We wouldn’t have been able to get enough money together for the deposit otherwise. Not with kids, renting and everyday bills and living.

[oneofthose]

My parents helped us by gifting us a deposit for our first home. It was extremely generous and it has made me determined to be able to do the same for my children in the future.

[Sarah84848484]

Parent want the best for you and will help if they can. Just ask! But also ask how any help would impact their futures, then make a sensible decision - also, make sure you’ve made a genuine effort to contribute yourself, they are help not to do it for you!

[PickAChew]

My tip is to find yourself a wealthy family.

I'm sure most mumsnetters would want tips for buying a first home without the help of family.

[Liveandforget]

I can't see a time when buying my own place will be a possibility. Single mum, living in the south east. I get house envy a lot, though very grateful for the social housing roof over my head.

[littlemagpies56]

We will be getting some help from parents along with saving ourselves slowly. It's a slow process as we chose to start a family before getting a mortgage and I have reduced working hours due to childcare etc. Would struggle with a deposit if it weren't for the help of family. Finding it to be such a huge expense to get onto the property ladder

[Seasidemumma77]

My mum and step dad are my 'mortgage lender'. They took the figure I had being paying as rent to a landlord, and calculated the size of mortgage based on that. They choose to apply an interest rate that gives them a better return than their savings account, and is lower than bank mortgage interest rate which benefits me.

[chickychicchic]

I moved out because I didn't get on with my mum due to her mental health.
If they hadn't have helped me I would have ended up in a dingy house share
I was fortunate enough that they could buy the house and then after I moved in I remortgaged and because of that got a very good rate without needing a deposit. I then paid them back over time for the deposit.
Because of them helping I got a house that I could also support myself in by having lodgers which I had for the 10+ years I lived in my first home.
I do know I am very fortunate

[jacqui5366]

I was overwhelmed with the thought of the process, and if I would be accepted for a mortgage as I had an 'average' credit history - and a default on a credit card a few years ago - this is what put me off applying, but as I had the deposit saved up between myself and my partner, we saw an independent financial adviser who showed us the best mortgage available and the pros and cons of each, he advised us to have some 'rainy day' savings and to keep this from our deposit, and we had our mortgagee application accepted - It was our dream to get on the property ladder, and even through being furloughed were able to make sure we kept to the minimum payments and not get to any arrears - we are now overpaying to get the mortgage down (to move to our second house in 5 or 6 years time).

[Didiusfalco]

With our first house my in laws paid the legal fees and I think my parents gave us £1k. My parents contributed more to our second house, I think because we were married by then and they were more comfortable that the relationship had longevity, although they’ve never said that so I might be wrong. Either way we were very grateful for all the help.

[maisietoo]

Parents helped with the deposit 25 years ago but can I help my children out? No, the deposits have gone up 10 fold.

[Fml2015]

My parents gave me a sum of money towards my deposit. My partners parents gifted us both a large stone of money which made up a significant proportion if the deposit. Then both my partner and I also contributed to the deposit. We both knew that our parents would help and we knew the amount before we started looking, which made the process smoother.
Partners dad is a finical advisor so he helped explained the process and fees such as stamp duty, broker and lawyer fees. Moving day both families helped move us in. Helped with the packing, cleaning and unpacking. Again my parents helped buy kitchenware such as microwave, kettle, plates etc. My partners family lent us sofas, gave us an oak table and brought half of our bedroom furniture. Non of this was expected but helped greatly. We knew what both sets of parents could afford and what they wanted to buy for us. This then allowed us to spend funds on other things to make our house or home. It's taken time but we have got there.

[LubaLuca]

I think we are lucky because we bought our first house back in the days when it was possible to save for a deposit on two standard wages whilst paying a reasonable amount to rent a decent flat. No financial or practical help from either of our families, which is a good thing with hindsight because we've never felt indebted or had to explain our choices to anyone.

I would help our children if they needed it I think. No point holding on to my savings if they could be accumulating better returns for them in a property while I'm still alive.

[MargosKaftan]

We had an inheritance from a great aunt of DHs when we bought, but we had already saved enough for a deposit. The timing meant we ended up being able to buy a house with 25% deposit. We could have borrowed more, but I'm not comfortable with pushing to the limits.

[rhinosuze]

We didn’t get any help from the family, neither set of parents would have been able to afford to. I did get £2000 when my grandad died which obviously went towards the house fund
I think you are really lucky if you are able to get help, I hope one day I’ll be able to help my child

[33goingon64]

I had a £30k deposit for my first house, which I bought following the breakdown of a long term relationship. My ex had owned the house we had lived in together and everyone expected that we'd get married and what was his would become ours etc.

My older siblings had each been gifted £10k on buying their first homes with their partners, so my parents did the same with me and gave me £10k. They also loaned me £10k, on the understanding that when I sold the house we'd either split the profit or they could have their £10k back, whichever was greater.

The final £10k came as a totally unexpected gift from my ex. His solicitor wrote to me saying he felt it was right I should have something to reflect the years I'd lived in the house without having a stake in its value, plus the work I'd put into its upkeep. It was made on the understanding that I hadn't asked for it, it was a gift freely given, and there wouldn't be any more.

The combined £30k made my first step on the property ladder possible. I ended up selling 2 years later and made £30k profit, so gave my parents £15k back.

[BananaMilkshakeWithCream]

My mum gave us £10k towards our deposit and MIL gave us the same. It massively cut down the time we spent saving and helped us to get out of the rental trap.

[Anna92]

My parents gifted me some money towards the deposit/stamp duty, and basically made it possible for me to buy my first flat with my partner. I think being transparent about what I spent the money on (bringing them to look at the flat before we exchanged/showing them the renovations we did to it over the years) helped to make them feel comfortable with it. I think the only pitfall was that when it came to selling the flat I was nervous that we might not make back the price we paid and effectively lose their money - but luckily that wasn't an issue.

Their help getting on the ladder has also helped us move up after 5 years to a bigger and better place.

[ladygindiva]

My parents downsized from the large family home to a smaller bungalow as it suited them better at that stage of life and also gave myself and my brother a lump sum towards decent deposits enabling us to become homeowners. Without this it would never have happened for either of us.

[CBUK22]

Renovating a house takes far longer and costs far more than you will ever believe.

Lots and lots of people massively over pay for houses that are wrecks.

If you're buying a house needing work, be very sure you have the skills and/or the budget to bring it to a state you will be happy with or it will end up feeling like a millstone.

[CatNamedEaster]

Small amount of financial support towards the deposit but what was also really helpful was the practical support: helping with DIY, gardening knowledge, making curtains, keeping old appliances for us when they replaced things, etc.

[Theimpossiblegirl]

We weren't given any money for a deposit, but we were able to live rent free while we saved, which made buying our first house possible.
We'll do the same for our DDs and made sure they opened help to buy ISAs while the scheme was still open.