Mumsnet users share the things they wish they'd known as a first time parent with ALDI Mamia

[YanaMumsnet]

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With a lot to learn and a complete change in lifestyle, becoming a parent for the first time can feel overwhelming. Learning from the experiences of seasoned parents can make things a little bit less scary, so ALDI Mamia would like to hear about the things you wish you’d known as a first time parent, and would share as tips for those expecting their first child.

Here’s what ALDI Mamia has to say: “The goal of our award-winning Mamia range is to help mums navigate all stages of their baby’s first years. One way we do that is by making our amazing, top-quality nappies affordable for families. But now we need you! This is your chance to help future first-time mums by sharing all the things you’ve learnt over the years. Maybe you’ll pick up some new tips for you next one while you’re at it.”

Do you wish you’d been warned beforehand about how emotional the experience would be? Is there anything you wish you’d been told you didn’t really need? Perhaps you wish you’d been told of the things you could save money on without compromising quality for your baby? Is there anything you’ve learned since your children were born that would have been helpful while you were expecting?

Whatever you wish you’d known as a first time parent, share it on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £200 ALDI voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Never compare!!! All babies do things at their own pace but equally trust your instincts - if something doesn't feel right, you'll know!

Removing pooey vests by pulling it down the shoulders rather than the other way round was a game changer!!

That for the first few months they don't need fancy toys or rockers - they just need you and your voice.

How sleep deprivation is real and combined with emotions and a new body it's ok to feel like "WTF have I done, who is this tiny stranger in my house" - but that it DOES get better. You really learn on the job!

If you have a c section, take a box of peppermint tea - it helped hugely with the gas pains but were only told this 4 days after the section!!

I wish I'd of know that the most pressure would come from myself. I wrongly felt that people with and without kids were judging me from the way I held my baby to the clothes I dressed him in to the food I weaned him on and everything I did. I wish I'd of known that it's okay to have confidence in myself and that it's okay to feel stressed without feeling like a failure when I couldn't console his tears sometimes. I wish I'd of know how fast time would pass once he was here and that I made the most of everyday with him when I wasn't working.

I wish I'd known that no matter what you need to trust your instincts. Never let the "professionals" make out like they know better. You are your child's best advisor and advocate. It may be hard at times but believe in your power as a parent.

Throw out the books
Stay away from parenting forums
Give your BF baby formula if hungry
Don’t stress about small things

How difficult it is to find foods that are easy to eat one handed.
That sometimes a walk in the fresh air, even if you are tired can improve your day and is a small ‘break’.

That it's ok to not be ok, parenting is hard. Ask for help, it's not failing, we all need support in any new job this is no exception.

Take all the help offered for cooking, cleaning , walking the baby so you can lay down.

You don't need to change a nappy in the night unless the poo. Just pop them in the next size up.

Learn to nurse/bf laying down at night. Combined with a bedside cot = much more rested.

Cot bumpers are dangerous (banned in USA).

Use fine normal nail scissors to cut their nails when asleep.

That if your baby is diagnosed with Down Syndrome, either before or after birth, while it is ok to feel a sense of grief for the idea of the child you had, be ready for a child who will enrich your life just as much as any other. 94- 96% of these babies don’t end up being born.
The laughs, the spontaneous and frequent displays of love and affection to you and everyone they meet. The absolute joy they find in tiny things that transport you back to the simplicity of your own childhood. Rubbing hands with glee at the sight of an ice-cream cone.
You will worry. You will feel sad about the things you assume they will miss out on. You will struggle at times with the developmental trajectory being a longer curve. Your baby will adore and accept you. Do the same for them and remember for ANY child, the thought of their potential in life is a fantastic thrill. You don’t have to be perfect, just be good enough and there is no shame in asking for support. (4 kids later)...

I wish I'd been warned about the cost of all of the things I needed, and to buy early, I left it til I was 30 weeks, and bought everything new , I could have saved a fortune buying from gumtree or ebay, and could have had the same products - as new- without spending £100's.

All of my baby stuff (moses basket, bags and bags of baby clothes, car seat have been sold on ebay to very grateful parents)

Dentinox for cradle cap. Ambasol liquid for teething. Nipple shields. Nappy bin. Comfortable feeding pillows. For my latest, a car seat with wheels! Am still yet to find a set of baby nail clippers that don't fill me with terror when I cut baby nails! Trust instincts - a lot of conflicting advice from professionals, some of it downright bonkers. Check for tongue tie. A small bit of help can make all the difference - take it when offered and offer it to others when needed. Sophie giraffe teething toy. Every baby is different - find what works for your family. Leave spare nappies and change of clothes in car. Get a cup holder for the pram. Expect to be surrounded by laundry for years to come! Expect your personal standards to slip.

Sometimes it's boring and lonely as anything, other times it's beyond magical. Sometimes you'll stare at each other in wonder snuggling up in the middle of the night, smelling that new baby smell - other times you are inwardly screaming that you want five minutes to sleep and not be holding a baby!

Always remember - everything's a phase!

Always remember - everything's a phase!

don't go mad buying clothes - they do not last long at all and many may go unworn!

That the newborn bit isn't the best bit. 12-18 months is where the fun really starts and it gets easier (disclaimer: I'm mum to 2 reflux and CMPA babies!)

I wish I had known that supermarket own brand nappies and wipes are as good as, if not better, than premium brands. Gosh, the money I saved when the penny dropped! And I’m sure there was less nappy rash as well...

The other thing I figured out after dc1 & 2 but in time for dc3 was the amazing MN trick of peeling vests/ bodysuits downwards when dealing with the aftermath of a particularly explosive nappy.....of everything I have ever gained from 15 years of intensive MN reading, that might still be the best bit of advice ever!!! No more pulling poo-laden clothing over the babies’ heads and spreading the mess even further - absolute genius!

I wish I'd known that routines don't have to be stuck to so religiously that id miss important events.

I wish I'd known about parenting websites to find out other people had the same struggles.

I wish I'd known to take more photographs holding my baby, my toddler, my little boy.

That grandparents don't know everything!

Don't spend a fortune on clothes you'll either get loads as gifts or you can pick up great quality at charity shops. They grow so fast it's not worth the money

That bonding may not happen straight away and you may not get that rush of love. Don't feel guilty, sometimes love can be slow burning. It will come

Just because you love your own kids , doesn’t mean you will end up liking everyone else’s!

Yes you do need all those cloths people keep banging on about
Babies get through A LOT of nappies
Babies are essentially nocturnal - have fun with that!
They are sick a lot and need changing all the time
Bibs are a lifesaver
Use a dummy, don’t use a dummy, if it helps it helps. Same with swaddling or anything else people get vaguely weird about.
If you want to breastfeed, give it your best shot but don’t get disheartened if it doesn’t happen or it’s too hard for your physically or emotionally. Just feed your baby whatever way works for you.

Get support for your mental health if you need it.

I don’t think anything can really prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster and how much your life will change.

Trust your parental instincts over what the health visitor tells you. Get a second opinion if need be.

I wish I'd been more confident to ask/tell my mother-in-law not to come up every day - I felt I had to tidy the house and forfeit my sleep - I felt pretty miserable, especially when I was up for several hours during the night - I operated on 4 or 5 hours broken sleep - If I'd have slept during the day for an hour or two it would have made such a difference.

Nobody really tells new mums about the fact that once the baby arrives any fun shopping for yourself will stop and everytime you hit the local shops you will probably have this uncontrollable desire to buy an item for your baby. One stop shops like Aldi are great as they have everything from baby clothes to nappies to accessories to toys but they also have stuff for mum and dad too so its all about remembering to treat ( an exhausted ) mum and dad too!

I wish I knew that the baby can sometimes stay up all night breastfeeding on the second night to get the milk in. I thought I was doing something wrong.

NOBODY knows what they are doing

It's OK to put your foot down and limit amount of visitors / when they come so that you get time to rest and adjust to life with a new baby