Mumsnet users share the things they wish they'd known as a first time parent with ALDI Mamia

[YanaMumsnet]

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With a lot to learn and a complete change in lifestyle, becoming a parent for the first time can feel overwhelming. Learning from the experiences of seasoned parents can make things a little bit less scary, so ALDI Mamia would like to hear about the things you wish you’d known as a first time parent, and would share as tips for those expecting their first child.

Here’s what ALDI Mamia has to say: “The goal of our award-winning Mamia range is to help mums navigate all stages of their baby’s first years. One way we do that is by making our amazing, top-quality nappies affordable for families. But now we need you! This is your chance to help future first-time mums by sharing all the things you’ve learnt over the years. Maybe you’ll pick up some new tips for you next one while you’re at it.”

Do you wish you’d been warned beforehand about how emotional the experience would be? Is there anything you wish you’d been told you didn’t really need? Perhaps you wish you’d been told of the things you could save money on without compromising quality for your baby? Is there anything you’ve learned since your children were born that would have been helpful while you were expecting?

Whatever you wish you’d known as a first time parent, share it on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £200 ALDI voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

good naps = good night sleep

it sounds counter-productive to spend time to get them into napping properly (deeply, for a decent time, in the right conditions) but there's a direct correlation for us.

definitely one i wish i'd known about before!!

I wish I'd appreciated properly that my body would never be the same again, in fact that nothing would ever be the same again. I cringe when I think of how much I said 'once everything's back to normal' during my first pregnancy. It sounds obvious but I really didn't realise.

I wish I had started the white noise machine which plays through the night sooner.

It's ok to say no to visitors.
No matter how hard you try some babies just won't breastfeed.
Doctors don't always know best.
Having a baby changes you massively as a person and that's ok.
Not all friends will hang around once your priorities change.

Mothers instinct will kick in immediately even while pregnant.

To make the most of every stage as the time flies by so quickly.
To not put as much pressure on yourself to breastfeed. If you can do it great! If you can't it doesn't make you less of a mum. Your doing amazing!

Oh & also... it'll be the hardest thing you will ever do but it will be the most amazing, best thing you'll ever do too.

Accept help when offered, and second hand is just as good as new for baby clothes and a fraction of the cost - borrow equipment (steriliser) when you can.

That it’s ok to carry a baby round and it won’t ‘spoil’ them.
Also, to break each day and night down into roughly 4 hour sections and deal with one at a time.

When your baby sleeps, take the time to sleep yourself. It's tiring being a Mum and the housework can always wait.

I wish I’d known that you didn’t have to buy every baby related gadget and just how little sleep I’d get!

That I didn’t need to buy branded nappies. Own store brand ones were fine if not better! Found out late on with second child, dang!

that vests have envelope necks for a reason

I wish I'd known to trust my instincts and not read every parenting book going. I spent hours reading up on every baby theory and bit of advice always looking for validation that I was 'doing it right'.

That it's ok to accept help. That sleeping for chunks of more than 45 mins is highly overrated! That sshhhing does not work!! That sleepy naps are wonderful and having baby sleep on you will not spoil them - stop trying to put them down and enjoy it!

I wish I’d known that...
I was NOT necessarily right about the perfect way to do everything and my husband’s way was just as good.
That sometimes it is frankly impossible to know why the baby is crying or to make her stop. So you make sure she’s fed and dry and then you just comfort her and try not to go insane.
That if something works, you do not mess with it for the sake of someone else’s opinion. Applies to breastfeeding, bottle feeding, nap patterns, schedules, bathing frequency, sleep locations, practically everything. If it works, then anyone who wants to stick their beak in for no good reason can take a running jump.

I wish I'd known that "this too will pass" ie most things aren't worth worrying about, particularly competitive stuff with other parents.
Also, haven't RTFT but presume everyone will have mentioned the envelope neck vests can be pulled off downwards in the event of poonami?!

You can do all the “right” things and your baby still might not sleep. Don’t worry about doing what you need to do to get some rest - like feeding to sleep.

The thing that took me most by surprise was the lack of free time/ "me" time.

Advice to my past self would be - make space for you. And make sure you clear the lines with your OH before the baby arrives. Making a baby is a joint enterprise and looking after one should be too!

Don't get sucking into buying all manner of gimmicky things you don't need.. I bought a stroller "pedometer" to track how many steps i did with the buggy.. never used ! Don't compare yourself to other parents and don't subscribe to too many "mum and baby" type mailings, too much advice, some conflicting!

One of the best bits of advice I was given before DD arrived was that not everyone feels that bond or connection instantly. For some mums it takes time. And that's ok.
Also that it's ok to bottle feed! Breast isnt always best, feeding your baby is best no matter whether you breast feed or bottle feed!

Zip sleepsuits! I wish I had known about them when my twins were babies, I had popper rage within a few weeks :D

My son is 22 but even back then there were some mums who seemed to be ‘perfect’. If they were they I would be happy for them but if they weren’t I wish I know to ignore them a little more and just focus on what I was doing. This must be SO much worse now with social media and ‘influencers’ I know now it’s ok to not always cook from scratch, not to to baby groups etc or if you have a bad day I realise it’s ok to just start over the next day

The time with your little baby will pass so quickly. Try not to stress about how much they cry or don’t sleep, or how they feed. Babies have evolved to be resilient over millennia. Enjoy the time as best as you can- you will only remember the happy times when you look back years later.

Enjoy!

That you will become THAT parent - that million photo taking, gushing over every small thing, baby bore new parent. But it's ok, it'll mellow (slightly) in the months to come and you'll learn how to pretend to listen to other people for a polite amount of time before artfully steering any conversation back to your pfb again.