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MNHQ

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

457 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 17/12/2019 09:52

This sponsored discussion is now closed

Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,
MNHQ

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Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
OP posts:
Snog · 18/12/2019 11:42

My mum gave me £5k which was a 10% deposit on my first property, a scruffy one bedroom flat.

I had a £200 inheritance from my gran which paid for a new bed. My dad painted it all for me before I moved in.

A 10% deposit on the same flat now would be £30k.

Snog · 18/12/2019 11:46

We are prioritising Uni costs over a deposit for my dd but we would like to help her if we can. It's likely that my mum will also help her. DH saves for her on a regular monthly basis.

Whatdayisit2 · 18/12/2019 11:54

No help here but I did sell the car I bought with a student loan to help with the deposit

bathwaterblues · 18/12/2019 12:15

My dad gave me a £5000 deposit for my first house. It was a lifeline

We bought a very cheap house, sold it for double and worked our way up the property ladder since then.

VirginiaCreeper · 18/12/2019 12:23

Nothing from parents or in laws. We saved up and our mortgage was 15%.
We have gifted £50k each to DC plus pay the maximum into a save to buy ISA. The money is all invested as neither is ready to buy yet.

llynnnn · 18/12/2019 13:06

No financial help from either of our parents, but they did encourage us to save regularly from a young age, helped me to budget my first income so I could afford to save, and our parents allowed us to carry on living with them (for minimal rent) until we'd saved eough for a desposit. They also encouraged us to buy as soon as we could, rather than rent.

This was in 2001 and we were 20 years old :)

LucyLocketss · 18/12/2019 13:36

My parents gave us 90k to buy our home about 6 years ago. They then left me everything in their wills enabling me to purchase the house I have now. I'm forever grateful to them despite them no longer being here

They were wealthy incidentally, they weren't going without so I could have. They did the same for my brother too.

amusedbush · 18/12/2019 13:39

My mum told me to move out at 21 by finding a flatshare and giving me the contact number on a piece of paper. I'm 29 and moving into my first owned property with DH in the next few weeks, and that's only because he lost both grandparents and his mum within a year so he inherited it.

When I told my mum the (bittersweet) news she said, "it's not fair, I still have five years left on my mortgage" and hung up.

So... absolutely zero help, care or compassion on that front.

Wednesdays2cats · 18/12/2019 14:01

My Mum lent us £10k and my MIL lent us £3k. We also received a £5k gift from my grandma. This allowed us to buy our house for £140k in 2013. We have since managed to pay back both loans. We bought the house as a cheap forever home and had no intention of selling and moving up the ladder. However it has started to feel a bit tempting to move now we have our bouncing baby boy...

jackstini · 18/12/2019 15:17

From when I started work at 15 my parents said I should pay them board at whatever rate I thought was fair. On my 18th birthday they gave it me back and my Grandma gave me £500

Got a car and put rest in savings

At 21 parents gave me and my sister £5k each and said we could use it towards our weddings & a house - we had to decide the split and if we wanted a fancy wedding put the rest to it ourselves

Put £8k down on a £41k 3 bed house in 2003. We would still have got on the ladder without the help, but a much smaller property

Moved twice since then and almost paid off mortgage, house worth approx £300k and bought 9 more properties as pension investments due to multiple redundancies for me and DH

We currently put £100 month away for both DC. They may need it, may not...

InMySpareTime · 18/12/2019 15:38

2001, nothing from my parents, PILs booked and paid for a removal van to take DH's furniture from their house to ours, but we sorted our own removals from our student house.
We've saved the DCs' child benefit into CTF share accounts from the start, so they both have a healthy deposit for when they choose to buy, plus we'll start them both on LISAs as they turn 18.
At the point where DCs are buying, I assumed as the LISAs will be their money they shouldn't count as parental contribution. Is that right?

LizB62A · 18/12/2019 16:04

1984 - I bought a flat costing £35k, my parents gave me £5k from their savings towards it.
I was earning £9k at the time, and needed a £27k mortgage.
The money from my parents made the difference between me being able to leave home or not. We treated it as an early inheritance as they helped us all out as we all gradually left home (my younger siblings got more as the house prices had jumped so much)

I hope to be able to help my son out in a similar way when he is ready to leave home, however the flat I bought in 1984 costs just under £300k now and there's no way I'll be able to afford to give him £42k which is the same percentage of the price that my parents gave me....

wanderwonderwanderwonder · 18/12/2019 16:28

We were very lucky, my parents gave us 10k and my grandparents gave us 10k, we added another 10k. My parents also paid all of our fees.
Now we are earning a little more we are putting money aside each month to try and pay my parents back although they don't expect this or ask this from us at all

PortiaCastis · 18/12/2019 16:32

In 2000 when I was 20 my lovely Dad died and I benefited from his will so exh and I bought this house that I still live in, it was £80,000 then but obviously has increased in value over time.

LaPufalina · 18/12/2019 17:26

My mum phoned me once I was made redundant with a £23k payout and said they'd like to give me half of her own £20k redundancy (different organisation!). She said that she didn't think I'd ever get onto the property ladder in London (in 2010) and £10k wouldn't have been enough deposit, but £33k was! My Nan also chipped in £5k of early inheritance which covered all my moving costs and legal fees. The only processes we adhered to were letters to the bank confirming both amounts were gifts.

I've already started saving in a stocks and shares ISA for our pre-school daughters. I'll probably stick at £25-£50 pm in their names and then ramp up isas in our names once we're out of the massive nursery fees period! I appreciate that I've been really lucky and would like my own girls to have the same opportunity.

VaguelySensible · 18/12/2019 18:06

The biggest help my parents gave me in buying a place of my own was in not charging me any rent or housekeeping for all the years I lived with them as an earning adult. This was conditional on my saving for a deposit. Nonetheless, I contributed to the running of the household by buying groceries, paying the running costs of the shared car, and doing housework.

This was in the 80s/90s.

I am very grateful to them and would not change anything they did.

crosser62 · 18/12/2019 18:33

No help from anyone.
It was just heads down, work work work, spend nothing, save like mad for deposit for 2 years and go from there.
Would have loved help but neither sets of parents were in any position to help.

My pil were given their house as a wedding present by a relative. Can you imagine that!!!

Popsdob · 18/12/2019 18:51

No financial help at all, and good lord it was a struggle. So grateful for it now though. Although I think I'd like to help my DC if I could.

PlugUgly1980 · 18/12/2019 19:10

No help at all! Worked hard and saved hard, which meant I had a good deposit (Partner at the time had none), and bought a flat. Gradually moved up property ladder. On 3rd property split up with partner but had kept saving so managed to buy him out. Then met DH who still lived at home, but had been saving and had a good deposit which matched the equity from the sale of my house and we pooled resources and bought one bigger house together.

Minai · 18/12/2019 19:16

My parents weren’t able to help us but we received £10k towards our deposit from my inlaws which was inherited from my husband’s grandmother.

Lifesbetterwithwine · 18/12/2019 19:16

We didn’t have any help financially - from either set of parents - with buying our first house. It was a struggle initially and we often had no money at all for anything other than the bare essentials. We even had a lodger for a couple of years in order to pay the bills.

After 10 years in our first house, we moved to a slightly bigger one with a garden and at that point my in-laws offered to give us a few thousands towards it. My parents gave us lots of non financial help eg with diy, electrics etc and often gave us second hand furniture which really helped over the years.

My children will always have a home with us and if/when they are in a position to buy their own home I hope we can help them.

fantango · 18/12/2019 19:19

My parents inherited from my exceptionally wealthy grandmother. They bought my first house outright for me in 2012 for £360k. In 2017 I sold it for £560k and they then loaned me £100k as a "mortgage" in order to afford my next house. I know, I'm incredibly lucky.

Anj123 · 18/12/2019 19:25

Unfortunately my parents died when I was at school so before I would have got the chance to get on the property ladder, but I don’t think I would have got any help with it.

bobsyourauntie · 18/12/2019 20:03

I had a mortgage and a deposit, but my first home needed £5K worth of work on it, so my parents loaned me that money. It was a brilliant help and very much appreciated. I worked 2 jobs in order to pay all the bills and still have some sort of social life.

I made £75K profit less than 10 years later, having bought low and sold high. Of course all property prices had risen so it was all relevant, but I was able to put down a very large deposit on my next purchase with XH.

When XH left, I couldn't borrow enough to get him off the mortgage, so they loaned me the difference. That was another amazing act, which meant that my daughter didn't have to leave her home and her friends and family.

I know that I have been very lucky, but I did save up the deposit on my first home myself, and also improve my career prospects by getting Uni equivalent qualifications at night school, in order to earn more money.

I doubt very much that I will be able to help my DD in the same way, but if I can then I will.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 18/12/2019 20:14

My parents did nothing. DHs parents offered us a soft loan if we needed it for the move, but in the end we were fine without.

However this was 10 years ago, and house prices have gone up a lot in that time.