Mumsnet users talk online safety and cyberbullying with Kaspersky

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Many children are now growing up with technology at their fingertips and social media often at the centre of their digital world, making it more important than ever to discuss online safety with children and be aware of the effects of cyberbullying. Kaspersky would like to hear about the ways you protect your children from bullying when they’re online.

Here’s what Kaspersky has to say: “Do you really know what your kids do online? Can you be sure they’re safe when connected? Kaspersky gives you new and better ways to keep your kids safe on PC, Mac and Mobile."

Do you have tips for talking about cyberbullying with your children? Do you utilise parental control technology so you know what’s going on in their digital world? If your child has experienced cyberbullying, what advice do you have for other parents?

Whatever your tips or experience, share this below to be entered into a prize draw where one Mumsnetter will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Not a parent, but teach teenagers, and the biggest thing I keep reminding them is that their online history will follow them around, even when they are starting work. And that they can easily lose control of photos etc that might be shared to friends only, because as soon as one of those shares it, you've lost that control.

I find it very hard to keep track of my kids online. I've put in all the parental controls blocking all known bad websites, but my 15 year old daughter will not let me anywhere near her phone which makes it hard to check what she is posting or reading. I've had a chat with her and the boys about online bullying and social media posts - what is appropriate to forward and what is not as sometimes the kids can receive inappropriate memes, pictures or videos from their friends and I know a child who got in a huge lot of trouble for simply forwarding a picture that a classmate sent them. I do have a look at what my children are viewing when they are on the computer and somethings I've found out have horrified me while doing my research. Some apps track your child in a very stalkerish way and broadcast their position to other people unless you turn it off and there are some very dangerous websites out there that encourage chatting to random strangers with video cams. Omegle is one that I found very disturbing and we blocked it. I always remind the kids never to arrange to meet up with strangers and I need to know where they are at all times so I know they are safe.

At 15, the online world, getting likes on her pictures and number of friends are all very important to her -no matter how much we try and convince her otherwise. I'm less worried about online grooming etc as she hates going anywhere new alone!

We talk regularly about how people use the internet as a screen to hide behind and that a lot of people don't have the same empathy with someone online as in real life. Also that many people create different personas online. This has helped my children understand online bullying a little as I think being the victim of it can feel much worse otherwise. We also made sure that they knew to never accept friend requests from people they didn't know and like in real life. A lot of kids feel pressure to accept someone who is nasty to them at school in case they are mean to them for not doing so but the reality is they will probably be a lot worse online.

My daughter is more active on social media than my two sons and she has a very select group of close real life friends with whom she interacts. She won't let anyone in who she doesn't know or doesn't connect with properly and she's very insistent about this.

A good point to remember though is that everything that is written online can be proven. One incident my daughter had with an ex-friend had the girl sending all sorts of vile messages and then complaining at school that my daughter was bullying her. My daughter produced all the messages and the tables very much turned. The girl still gives her dirty looks when they pass in the street now and they are both nearly 18.

I decided to always have DS play in front of me, in a communal place (the lounge), so I can always check in with what he is doing and who he is speaking to. Fortnite is limited to friends from school only and I periodically check in his headset to make sure I hear the voices of his age-appropriate mates. That's the deal if he wants to go online in my house. I will not be letting him on social media until he is 16, possibly 18 if I can persuade him to hold out.

Yes I absolutely will be talking to my son about cyber bullying. I absolutely despise social media at times because it can cause so much damage. The internet never forgets and it is easy to see why seeing offensive remarks about yourself online would have a significant impact on your life. I know I can’t stop my son from using social media, but I can certainly have a honest and frank conversation with him about it. It is so important to me that he stays safe online.

I have talked to them about it because it is such a big issue, especially because a lot of what they do is online. I have explained to them about not talking to people that they do not know in real life and that there are adults that pretend to be other people in order to be nasty to them. I try and monitor as best as I can what they do and have explained that if any if being horrible to them, to ignore them and to show us what is happening.

Having a discussion is most important, parents must keep control and oversee what their children are accessing be aware of anyone they have online contact with, obviously dependant on age

I've had this happen to my eldest child. I let them know that they can't blame themselves if someone is repeatedly horrible to them. I tell them not to retaliate because that oftens what they want. The best thing is to remove themselves from the situation. I also know they will come to me with the problem and they know to capture and save any evidence of online bullying.

I have instilled into my children that cyber bullies hide behind screens and like most bullies if you have courage to speak out against them they lose their control.

I encourage my children to talk to me about anything that concerns them online. I talk to them about the dangers of it and how badly it affects people and destroys lives.

Simply close the window asap. Reporting it to website .

My boys school have been really good at raising the issue of cyber bullying and is talked about through regular assemblies and in the classroom. Emails are sent home to help parents understand kids using the internet and the problems they can get into with it. Tips include putting a parent lock on certain apps, not letting them use social media and making consoles unable to connect to the internet. I limit internet usage and make them sit in the same room as me while they are online so I can keep a close eye on what is happening. My elder daughters have all been away of cyber bullying and have taught my grandchildren the same. Parental controls are a must, the internet is here to stay we just have to make sure we can keep our children safe online.

My girls are still too young for internet. They hardly use tablets, laptops or phones. They love playing with toys, books and arts :)

Parental controls and software are useful to a degree but having an open conversation about online safety before our children use the internet, then regularly talking to them about their experiences and online activity is even more important. Communication with and observation of your child is I guess what will give you the early warning signs of bullying whether online or not, but it's not always going to be easy to spot.

Luckily we haven't come across it yet. Using parental controls is a must though. Ground rules from early on bed them in and make them think more about their own actions online but also know that you can monitor what's going on, makes them more open if there is something they didn't like.

I am very open with all 3 of my children, I have shown them some of the video clips that have been circulation about cyber bullying and the impact it has. I have asked them to come to me if they feel bullied but yet also to take other peoples feeling in to account when they think they may be the bullies themselves.

we have talked about general online safety H is 5 and D is 8. They have a tablet which they share and we limit the aps they can use. They both know never to giveout their name, birthday, home or school details online. They know its never okay to share photos of anything personal with people they dont know. We havent addressed cyber bullying as they dont have SM accounts yet an the apps they use have limited interaction with others however it is something we will discuss. We have already talked about how it isnt okay to make someone feel bad or to hurt them or call them names or leave them out and what to do if that happens so adding in that this isnt okay online as well will be a natural progression

Parental controls are great, ignorance because you are bored or can't be bothered to learn how to use the controls properly is really no excuse. We spoke to our kids, and told them that any concerns at all, and we meant anything, they must come to us, don't let the bully have power, this is key, most cyberbullies are cowards and as soon as you face up and don't let them take control, you tend to be fine. Our son, was blackmailed by a bully into sending photos of himself, while at Uni, he said he felt that he was embarrassed to tell us, for fear of what we would do. As soon as he was reassured that nothing was his fault, and no matter what, we will do all we can to help stop this, we moved forward with a positive outcome. My kids always speak to us openly about any worries, they have nothing to fear, kids are so scared to worry us, they will keep all sorts to themselves, rather than face anger of disapproval from family members, try to keep a balanced and understanding, caring attitude.

My Daughter is only six, but it does bother me that she's already talking about Facebook (at six!) and the other day said 'Lets take a 'Selfie'. I have never taken a selfie in my life. There is so much pressure put of CHILDREN these days to look a certain 'way'. I see girls as young as 12 posting pictures pouting with a full face of make up and some daft 'filter'. She was bought a KIDS kindle last Christmas and some of the content she is able to access horrified me! I just presumed it would be all Peppa Pig and My Little Pony. I'm not very good with technology but it was pretty much everything you could access on an adults laptop, so I've not let her have it as of yet in all fairness she's more into sports and being outdoors. Social media has opened a whole other way for children to abuse each other.

I know my children's passwords and check their phones regularly and talk to them about how to be safe online

I think depending on the ages of my children I may let them have FB etc but only if I was able to view their profile so I could see what was happening. I think talking and honesty is so important as well, children need to be aware of what effect a so called 'simple comment' could have on someone else. I also definitely feel that children shouldn't have access to phones etc past their bedtime.

Local police often offer discussions about internet safety for groups, I recommend asking about booking one. Don't post pictures if your kids unless you want them out there, even private ones online can be taken, if shared with a "friend" who then goes onto share And if their share is public now your original one is.

I thought we had installed all the controls we could, but on a routine check of Ds's apps, I found that very inappropriate content was being shared in direct messaging in a game. That was a bit of a wake up call tbh

Our son is 8 so doesn't currently use any form of social media or platforms in which he could be cyber-bullied but it doesn't stop me worrying about it. I'am actually attended a work-shop at the school this Thursday coming which address this and online safety also.