Mumsnet users talk online safety and cyberbullying with Kaspersky

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Many children are now growing up with technology at their fingertips and social media often at the centre of their digital world, making it more important than ever to discuss online safety with children and be aware of the effects of cyberbullying. Kaspersky would like to hear about the ways you protect your children from bullying when they’re online.

Here’s what Kaspersky has to say: “Do you really know what your kids do online? Can you be sure they’re safe when connected? Kaspersky gives you new and better ways to keep your kids safe on PC, Mac and Mobile."

Do you have tips for talking about cyberbullying with your children? Do you utilise parental control technology so you know what’s going on in their digital world? If your child has experienced cyberbullying, what advice do you have for other parents?

Whatever your tips or experience, share this below to be entered into a prize draw where one Mumsnetter will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I've signed up to emails from the nspcc to help me think about and tackle it

Our kids are all under 11 but they have their own email address, anything they send or receive is also sent to DH so he can monitor what they are doing.
They are allowed to use chat in any online games or to post anything on the internet.

Don't let them use internet without supervising. Explain them that online like a real life - some good amd some bad. Always use parental control.

Cyberbullying is a real worry. My children know that bullies often hide behind computer screens and say things online they would not say to your face. They have limited access to the internet and are not allowed to use chat rooms.

I don't think parental technology is the answer at all, that's just disconnecting children and parents even further. I feel strongly that children shouldn't have access to any social media until at least high school, and even then it should only be in a shared space (eg living room) with children agreeing that parents can check on them if they want to, eg asking child who each person is on their friends list to check they actually know them in real life. I think it all has to be as open as possible so that the child feels they can say if they are upset, but I think prevention is better than cure, so social media needs to be limited as much as possible. I dont use it myself as I feel it only brings trouble and upset, so hopefully I can lead by example

I have spoken to my daughter a lot about this as she uses Instagram and watches YouTube videos. She knows her dad and I can check any time what she’s doing, and her school has been teaching her about issues such as cyber bullying and security. Since she started using Instagram, I have also started using it so I understand how it works. We have security settings on our broadband supplier. I don’t know what else I can do so hope it’s enough!

My sons school regularly do assemblies and features on Cyber bullying which gives me the ideal opportunity to continue the topic at home and always keep it in the forefront as children now spend so much of their lives (as we all do) online

We only let our children go online when we are able to keep an eye on them but try and instil in them the importance of letting us know of anything which does not feel right to them. As they get older we will keep reminding them of the importance of telling us if they experience anything which worries them and make sure they know how to stay safe online so that they feel comfortable speaking to us if they do encounter any form of cyberbullying.

Make sure you have an open relationship so that they are able to share any concerns and monitor internet usage

My dad is only seven so I’m not at this stage yet, but it really gives me the fear. I don’t ever want to let her on social media but fear that’s unrealistic!! I’m hoping we can at least hold off til high school.

Like many other posters, I really worry about cyberbullying.
Bullying was rife when I was at school, it just seemed like part of growing up & you just had to assert yourself & the bullies would pick on someone else. However - you were able to get some respite from it when you left school, now - it just carries on online when school has finished.
The internet provides so much entertainment for children now - gaming, social media, youtube, etc - it's not as simple as just telling them not to go on it.
My advice would be to keep profiles private - change the settings so you're only able to view posts/messages from your friends.. although not sure that's possible?
My other advice would be to focus on activities away from the computer - so there is some respite in that sense. This could be walking, sports, cycling, martial arts, crafting.. anything that involves face to face interaction outside of school & is a distraction from bullying.
My son is 5, so this isn't a conversation we have had to have yet, but I'm aware we will do in the future.
I hope that through education in schools, initiatives to improve self confidence & social skills in young people & from parents allowing their children to be open with them about these issues, things will improve in the future.

I think access to social media should be limited and certainly not for younger children. Discussing the issues and being open and honest about it helps them to open up too.

I don’t know how safe they are online or at the park. They are sensible and have been taught about cyber bullying. My kids have a better idea about online safety than me. I can’t even turn on the tv.

Encourage them to be really open and make them aware that it happens and it is really important that they talk to you about it.

Kids need to know how to deal with cyber bullying and other cyber crimes. They need to know that they can talk to parents and must alert us to anyhting that worries them.

I would encourage them to ask questions and talk to me about anything. I also have a no device at bedtime policy. Our primary school have put up a really good video on the website about this and I have watched it with my children

I find it disturbing that bullying now happens within what should be the safety of your family home. I have always told my kids to speak out at the first instance if they think they are being bullied online, or anywhere else. Letting them know that Mum and Dad are there to help if any instances occur. My daughter experienced cyber bullying from other pupils at her school, so I went straight to the headmistress and then knocked on the doors of the parents of the children involved. It stopped immediately.

We've touched on it at home a few times with our eldest child who is 10. I'm actually quite impressed at how much they do in school now and how much she knew, above and beyond what I knew actually! We do have a lot of parental controls and she isn't allowed any social media and only has chat functions on games where I'm allowed to watch whenever I want. She is pretty good really and I know she's reported people on the games where there is a chat funtion for bad words!!! I am now starting to give her privacy and not check her school email as much! Really only because the school check it anyway. It's going to be really hard when she has her own phone.

I think this is every parents nightmare, its important to set your parental controls - so certain topics are banned.
Set your laptop up with accounts for your children and give a password which you can log into, to check the history of the browsing if you need. Make sure that you look out for any signs and be open and ready to talk if needed

Keep an eye on what your kids do online and parental controls must be set. It's a minefield so keep talking to your kids about it.

We talk to our son a lot about this and also discuss specific cases that have happened. There was a tv programme a few months ago about a boy that met up with someone after meeting via xbox live so our son watched it with us - he is 12 though

use parental controls and restrict time on devices too

Talk openly and often with your children about the dangers of online cyberbullying and indeed stalking and other nasties....we spend time educating our children on 'stranger danger' and the internet really is a lot worst in many ways. We read articles together on the subject to make sure they understand and obviously use internet nanny too

We haven't talked much about it as there's not been a need. The eldest has had a facebook account for a few years but has only just been given her password, I still have total control over it. She doesn't actually talk to people on there apart from a really close friend and family. The youngest is only 11 so doesn't have any access to social media.

They both know that bullying of any type isn't normal and know to come to me with any problems.

I discuss this regularly with my DS, explaining how people act very differently when they have the protection of a screen.