Mumsnet users discuss phrases that teachers always say

[EllieMumsnet]

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With National Teacher Day coming up on the 8th May MNHQ would love to know the phrases you remember your teachers always saying….also if you are currently a teacher please share the phrases you most commonly use during your classes.

Do you have strong memory of one of your teachers always using the ‘I’m not angry just disappointed’ line? Perhaps whenever your teacher was annoyed at someone they would say ‘It’s your own time your wasting’? Or maybe as a teacher you’re becoming known for saying one phrase in particular?

Whatever phrases you remember your teachers always saying, comment on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

I've got eyes in the back of my head...
Always scared me a bit, that one!

Clash how I would love to plagarise that 3rd report comment. However I don't seem to have the type of students that it would aptly describe.

'If you, 'ain't done nothing', you must have done something', whenever a teenager declares, 'what? I ain't done nothing', when caught up to mischief in a lesson.

I'm waiting..
Settle down please.. we won't start till everyone's quiet.. ok it's your time you're wasting..

And chairs have four legs for a reason.

Are you chewing?

'Pens down, no writing' - just as they put a massive load of info on the OHP! This always got a collective groan. Maybe it was the subjects I did, but it frustrated me that I had to listen and then at the end write stuff, I wanted to do them together rather than rushing before it was whipped away.

Teacher- Do you this at home?
Me- No
Teacher- Well don't do it here!

And if you said another time , yes to get a different response.....
Well don't do it here!
Probably spent hours at aged 8 trying to work out a beat the answer!

'Dont swing on the chairs , you'll crack your head open';
My daughter was the example, had her head glued. Still swings off the chair from time to time.
Swivel chairs the way forward, great indicator to teacher of beyond boredom !

I remember doing something naughty and when caught by the teacher I used that old excuse "Nicholas told me to do it" and was given that age old answer "If Nicholas told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?". I use this on my own kids now :)

I like the new one that teachers use when catching a child doing something naughty these days "Luke, do you think you are making the right choice".

I also like the statement for good work "Wow, your on fire today".

I don't need to learn this stuff I already know it- heard this all the time from teachers.

I don't want to have to do my policeman act=please behave. I don't want to get off my arse and walk around the classroom to check on you all.

Heard this every lesson from one particular teacher at High School.

"Go and put a wet paper towel on it" (for all injuries, including broken bones)

"Fetch the axe and I'll chop it off!" (For injured limbs)

"I'm not angry, I'm disappointed!"

"I don't care if he told you to do it. If he told you to jump off the roof would you do that too?"

"Engage brain before opening mouth!"

"Go and stand on the wall! No, not next to her, move along." (dinner ladies punishment of choice. The wall was always lined with children standing with their backs against it and no idea what minor crime they had committed)

"If it hasn't got a name on it it's going in the bin!"

"It's your own time you're wasting"

"It's only rain, you're not going to melt"

"Are you chewing?"

"Why didn't you go at break time?"

"WHO is talking?"

"The bell is for me, not for you"

"If the wind changes your face will stick like that"

"Don't keep rubbing out, you'll make a hole in your paper"

"No, you don't need to get up and sharpen it, it's sharp enough"

"Stop running in the corridor!"

"Come here right NOW!"

"I'm going to count to 3 and woe betide anyone who isn't sitting quietly with their legs crossed and their arms folded! One...two.......two and a half..........two and three quarters..........two and seven eighths..........THREE!"

"Do as I say not as I do"

"BONSOIR" in very sarcastic tone of voice - French teacher to anyone who was late to class

"you should know that by now"

Right now with my daughter about to start her GCSE's the local grammar school teachers all seem to use the phrase "We just don't have the resources" .

When I was at school, we used to have a really strict teacher who used to bark phrases at us, including "the bell is a sign for me, not for you".

So now, when I'm teaching and have a tough class that just won't listen, I'll sometimes say it to my class, and it just makes me quietly smile to myself and let go of the stress before moving on to the next class.

"This is an assembly, not a hairdressing session!" Similar to @chubbymummy : the assembly hall would be lined with girls who couldn't keep their wannabe stylist's hands to themselves.

I also had a teacher who counted "nine and seven eighths... nine and nine tenths...."

And my personal favourite, by the headmistress to two "babyish" boys who were messing about in assembly: "Right. Would you like to sit in the pushchair?" She was totally serious, and had actually wheeled one in. Too bad that it wasn't a double pushchair!

(To some laughing naughty boys) "You think it's funny? You can spend your playtime laughing in this mirror." And she followed through.

Who dyou think’s going to shut that door? said in the most annoying voice you can imagine.

Ugh we all hated that teacher. Even the other teachers.

Hands on your head and eyes on me.

I teach Year 1 and say this all the time when I want them to stop and listen to me!

In primary:

Heads on desks.

Hands on heads.

Leave it - it can't go any further (if someone dropped something on the floor).

Secondary:

I'm waiting.

Well begun is half done.

Call child's name, once they have made eye contact a slow shake of the head and just the word 'no.' In your normal volume voice. Works a treat, they know you've seen them but haven't pulled them up in front of the whole class so they don't feel the need to argue. Is generally met with a sheepish 'sorry Miss.'

Crème de la crème.

One of my favourites is bottom, floor, let the two meet! With a clap. My class now join in.

My maths teacher always said, “If you don’t understand anything, see me after the lesson” which of course no one did because they wanted to leave as soon as the lesson ended! 😆

I'm stressed

I hate teaching

I love the teaching, but everything else gets in the way

What other careers can I do instead?

Clearly you are saying something more important than me, so I’ll just wait for you to finish, shall I?
(Said with a frown when someone is speaking to their neighbour whilst I’m talking!)