Mumsnet users discuss phrases that teachers always say

[EllieMumsnet]

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With National Teacher Day coming up on the 8th May MNHQ would love to know the phrases you remember your teachers always saying….also if you are currently a teacher please share the phrases you most commonly use during your classes.

Do you have strong memory of one of your teachers always using the ‘I’m not angry just disappointed’ line? Perhaps whenever your teacher was annoyed at someone they would say ‘It’s your own time your wasting’? Or maybe as a teacher you’re becoming known for saying one phrase in particular?

Whatever phrases you remember your teachers always saying, comment on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

[RamsayBoltonsConscience]

"Miss, I don't feel well."
"Do you feel sick? Need the toilet? No, well have a drink of water and see how you get on..." Me every time! 😸
"Seriously!?" When I catch someone doing or saying something ridiculous 🙄

[MarriedinMaui]

"But miss, Sandra told me to do it!"
"If Sandra told you to jump off a cliff would you do it??"

[AgentHannahWells]

I remember the schools most fancied female teacher threatening a teenage boy with detention by saying 'do you want to see me after school?' I think she learnt never to say that again when he replied 'I'd love to Miss what's your favourite restaurant?'.

[PugwallsSummer]

Ha ha ha - the magical Wet Paper Towel! My daughter in Y1 is constantly putting sopping wet tissue on her non existent injuries, so I'm guessing her teacher uses this one too!

[joggingrunning]

Teachers used to slowly count '10...9...8...7...' etc to 0 so that we as a class had to tidy up and put our books and pencils away at the end of a lesson.

[wanderings]

@MrsBartlettforthewin Call child's name, once they have made eye contact a slow shake of the head and just the word 'no.'
I remember a teacher doing exactly this to me. At first I refused to look at her, so she put a finger under my chin and tilted my head towards her.

If children needed help cutting up their dinner or "pudding", dinner ladies used to do this very briskly and with purpose. When I once took my pudding bowl up to be emptied, I remember the following exchange:
Dinner lady, looking on sadly: Ooh, what a wasteful child.
Me: I took a pudding which I thought I'd like, but didn't.
Dinner lady: Well, that was stupid!

We used to walk to the local library, escorted by a teacher and a few dinner ladies, but we didn't wear the hi-vis that children wear now. The ladies would bark orders at as such as:
"Be very careful, there's lots of dogs' muck."
"Don't touch the privet!!! You'll have the neighbours after you!"
"Hurry up across this road, Mrs Smith (who was standing in the road to stop the traffic) doesn't want to be run over!"

[wanderings]

Lots of memories here from me, I hope nobody minds that they're from the 1980s, not from now...

We sang a moralistic song which had the repeated line "because we're all one family". The headmistress, who was in charge of hymn practice, had a huge rant about children singing "fam-er-ly", instead of "fam-i-ly". She demanded "who says family? Put your hands up. Who says fam-er-ly?" A couple of children bravely called her bluff and put their hands up. "Oh, do you?!?!?!" she sneered. I was surprised she didn't make them stand at the front and sing it correctly in front of the whole school.

[sheddooropen]

Its your own time you are wasting

If you keep swinging on your chair you will fall back hit your head and die

That bell is for me not you

(Inset massive over explaining of any literature)

[wanderings]

A few more, then I'll let someone else jump in. Having read the OP, I am reassured to see that this thread is meant to be about teacherisms that we remember.

One afternoon a week, I and a few other children were taken to another classroom and made to do exercises such as skipping, forward rolls, hopping, throwing and catching beanbags. I thought this was quite fun at the time, but I found out some years later that it was a group for children who "needed extra help with gross control and co-ordination".

When we learned about Victorian objects, the fearsome headmistress whom I've mentioned a few times demonstrated ironing, using a flat iron which had to be heated on the stove. She wore a maid's outfit for this (teacher took photos with a polaroid camera), and most memorably of all, demonstrated how to check the iron was hot enough: by spitting on it!

A much feared teacher once walked into another teacher's story time, made a beeline for one child, and said, her voice rising to a crescendo: "What do you think you're doing, you horrid little boy? Go and stand on one of Mrs Smith's tables!" A stunned silence fell, including from Mrs Smith. I don't know what the boy was doing to warrant this humiliation, probably just talking.

The same teacher once gave us a lesson on handwriting practice, and wrote the word "kitten" on the board; more the half the class copied it into their books. She then did a slow march around the classroom, tossing children's books on the floor. She then made them pick their books up, and stand at the front holding them up. These children had committed the crime of writing "kitten" when she hadn't told them to. After she had sent these wretches back to their seats, she said in a kinder voice to everyone else "and now write the word 'kitten'."

Also this discussion, which I swear really happened, and I'm not making it up:
Boy (a bit of a troublemaker, coming out of the toilet, pointing to another boy, but not seeming that bothered): He weed on me!
Teacher: (unmoved) Oh dear. (To the headmistress, who was passing) Well, I don't think we'll let him go to the toilet again.
Headmistress: Of course not. And he can write about it.
Teacher: Should he do it in his book?
Headmistress: Oh no, give him a piece of paper. And if he wets himself, too bad.

I don't know how serious they were being; I was then imagining this lad having to write "I weed on John". I expect the headmistress didn't want it in his exercise book for parents to see.

[Notevilstepmother]

Stop interfering with the blinds.

It’s on the board (in response to what’s the date, what’s the title, what page what are supposed to be doing etc etc)

Did I ask you to insert misdemeanour or did I ask you to insert task ?

Is that what you are supposed to be doing? What are you supposed to be doing? dont know sigh Who can tell childs name what we are supposed to be doing?

Keep your hands to yourself.

[Notevilstepmother]

I forgot one,

Do you have any idea of how much paperwork I’d have to fill in if you banged your head/stab another child with that compass/injure yourself in whichever way? You know I hate paperwork, it’s sooo boring, please stop interesting dangerous activity

And please don’t get blood on my carpet, it makes such a mess and the stains never come out. The new year 7s get freaked out by blood everywhere you know. I really haven’t the patience to deal with crying year 7s. Why don’t you stop that and do some work, go on, you know you want to.

[Notevilstepmother]

More of a distraction technique than actual cruel disregard for your child’s safety, in case you are wondering. Far more effective than telling them not to do something or that things are dangerous.

[gerispringer]

Pupil: “My leg hurts”
Teacher: “ you,re lucky to have a leg, some people don’t have legs”

There was the same answer whether it was head, arm p, tummy etc.

[NomadicMother]

"Where should you be now?" Peter Kay said it in one of his stand up shows when talking about being at school. I say it daily.

[Fiera]

I dont suppose "Why are you late" counts, does it? 🤷‍♀️

[Beckymac26]

"I believe in you"
"I wouldn't give you the work if I didn't think you could do it!"
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
"You banana!"

Or the more obscure:

"Please stop chewing the table legs! We need them to stay in one piece!!!"
"Stop picking your nose- nobody wants your snot on the pens/scissors/table"
"No. don't cut your hair! It looks lovely as it is"

Concerning part is I teach year 6!!!!

[littlecabbage]

“It’s your own time you’re wasting!” - if we were chattering after the bell had sounded at the end of the lesson.

[Sugarhouse]

‘Tuck your shirt in’
‘ the bell is for me not for you’

[ScaryMary81]

'Fold your arms & cross your legs' and 'it's about taking part, not winning'

[BringOnTheScience]

Oh yes! The primary teacher's triage:
Go to the toilet...
Take your jumper off...
Have a drink...
Let's see how you are in 5 minutes...


I am guilty of starting sentences with either "Right!" or "So,"

[Beeziekn33ze]

In a messy classroom at home time: 'No one's going home until that floor is cleared. I'm not doing it and nor is the cleaner. I'd don't care whether you made it or not, we'll just wait until someone picks it up!'
By this time everyone was keen to get out of school so joined in.

When something had gone missing: 'Now we'll all have one more good look. I'll be so pleased with whoever finds it, then we can get on with the lesson.'
Often the missing item miraculously appeared. The finder sometimes looked oddly uncomfortable at being thanked. This only worked with infants!

[boptanana]

No you can not have a toilet!

[elephantoverthehill]

Beeziekn33ze you have just reminded me. I haven't had to say it for quite a few years now but I used to really get angry when students wouldn't tidy a classroom/workshop and say 'That's why we have cleaners'. I used to do a very long lecture on the difference between putting stuff away and cleaning which would go into a break time or lunch. However I still seem to have to explain this to my own DCs.

[PurpleBag]

At primary school doing maths.

Me: the answer is 9.

Teacher: 9 what?! Elephants?

Every time when the answer should have been apples or sheep or pence or something

[wanderings]

Whole class chanting in unison, while doing subtraction: "Three take away five... you can't do it! Borrow from the lady next door."

Headmistress, when I told her about being bullied at playcentre (volunteers looking after children after school): "I don't run playcentre, I go home and have my tea!" She told us in assembly the next morning how lucky we were to have playcentre, unlike many other schools. She was right of course (and she did tell me who to talk to instead).

The same headmistress, when teaching us reading: "I like boys, but I'm fed up with the way that in these books it's always the boys having the good time, whereas the girls are at home helping Mother." She'd make us swap the boys' and girls' names when we read them. She was approaching retirement, extremely scary, but ahead of her time.

"Look at all those trees talking to each other!" During a drama activity where we had to pretend to be trees.

(To another child) "Write these lines: I am not allowed to wear jumpers tied round my middle in class 1R."

A written comment in my exercise book: "Wanderings, you do not hold your pencil properly." My dad saw this, and read it out in an exaggerated teacher voice. He then went through the whole book doing the same with all the other comments. "Take more care, Wanderings."