What’s the best parental advice you’ve ever received? £300 voucher to be won. NOW CLOSED

[PoppyMumsnet]

We’re working with the team at Legal & General to encourage Mumsnetters to get involved with their #ForeverAParent campaign.

The things you do as a parent will last your children’s lifetime, so Legal & General are asking the nation what it means to be forever a parent. Whether your children are six or 60 years old, starting school or starting a family, you’ll always be the person they turn to for advice when it comes to life’s milestones, that’s because you’ll forever be their parent.

Here’s what Legal & General have to say “Your influence, support and advice will stay with your children always - because being a parent doesn’t stop. We’ve been asking parents across the UK what being Forever a Parent really means to them, as each individual is different, and we’d love to hear your views.”

Share what ‘Forever A Parent’ means to you to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Amazon gift card.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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Ask a teenager while they still know everything

My son (7) came to me in the night the other night, crying because he had cramp and he was upset. We chatted about it the next day (he felt bad for waking me) and I was telling me how my mum always said to me she is my mum 24/7 forever, and if I need her she’ll be there for me any time of day or night. I said I feel the same, and however old he is he will always be able to wake me up in the middle of the night if he needs me. I told him about calling my mum in the middle of the night when I went into labour with his little sister. And about calling my parents in the middle of the night when I was stressed about university exams. I hope if I always make him feel ok about it as a child, then he will always know I am there for him.

That it's OK to ask for help. I have always struggled with this but have had to reach out to all sorts of agencies as DS has autism. I thought everyone would think I was a terrible parent but they didn't.

Also that you don't have to be supermum. It's OK for the kids to spend time chilling and not doing activities.

The best piece of advice I've been given is to take all advice with a pinch of salt. Everyone's experiences are different, pick and choose which advice to listen to but ultimately its your choice.

"Pick your battles" my mums advice, which does help me take a deep breath and leave the DC to it sometimes if they're only doing something minorly annoying, or refusing to do something not too important.

Being a forever parent to me means that I will always be there for my children no matter what, this means that once they reach adulthood I will be in hand in the same way I was throughout their childhood. They will always have a room in my home and once they are through my door I want them to forget about their worries and remember that I’m their mum and they will be safe and loved by me forever.

sounds really cheesy!

The best has to be 'don't worry about what anyone else does, you are raising your child and you know them better than anyone else'. I pass that one on to others and I found it gave me comfort and reassurance throughout the most worrying times.

To me, 'forever a parent' means that regardless of age, distance, circumstance and many other factors I will, until my very last breath be a parent to DS, and that he shall forever have my support and love.

Just because everyone has lots of advice, you don't have to take it all. That probably goes for many things in life, not just parenting!

Respect that your child is an individual and don't compare them to other children and their abilities.

best advice was - 'you know best'

"You are still you. You are not just theirs, but yours"

Oh, and carpet cleaner gets sick out of soft toys"

The best piece of advice for me was to trust my instinct.

The best practical advice was to find out what the required amount of formula weighed (x scoops equals x grams) rather than count out eleven scoops each time as the amount of times I’d get halfway through and DP would interrupt my counting made me want to cry!

"Don't try to plan too far in advance" was good advice from a friend of mine when I was worrying about after-school childcare for my 6 month old. It's too easy to worry about things that aren't even problems yet.

To remember that I’m raising my children to be adults.
This has really helped me to guide my parenting. I try to encourage them to try things by themselves, to help with chores, to try to be charitable, kind and helpful and to also try to stand up for themselves and for others. Also, that education and learning will give them choices in the future.

Don’t read any books about raising children because the children don’t read them
Just trust your own instinct.

It's just a phase, it shall pass! You're their parent not their entertainer!

That children learn what they are shown; show them kindness and love and they will learn that.

Enjoy them.
It is so easy to get caught up in the fact that; the vacuuming needs doing, they’re not walking yet, they won’t go to sleep, you’re ill, routines need following, they keep paddying, money is tight etc that sometimes we need reminding to stop, take a step back and remember how wonderful our children are.

Read to them from a young age and make sure they see you enjoy reading as an adult. Also limit screen time -It’s ok to be unpopular sometimes with your kids (especially teenagers) .

"Pick your battles". Without a doubt. Particularly when you have special needs kids like me!

My father reading me (at 14) the Suckers/Cheats/Grudgers chapter in Richard Dawkins "The Selfish Gene".

Life changing.....

• In "The Selfish Gene" Richard Dawkins describes a hypothetical situation: there are three types of birds in a population, the sucker, the cheat, and the grudger. The birds tend to get parasites on them, and need another bird to peck off the parasites. If a bird is regularly groomed then it has a large advantage, and if it does not have to use the energy to clean another bird it has a slight advantage. The suckers clean everyone, the the cheat doesn't clean anyone, and the grudger cleans someone until it is obvious that they are not reciprocating, and then stops. Richard Dawkins simulates this scenario on a computer, and this is what he finds: "The first thing that happens is a dramatic crash in the population of suckers as the cheats ruthlessly exploit them. The cheats enjoy a soaring population explosion, reaching their peak just as the last sucker perishes. But the cheats still have the grudgers to reckon with. During the precipitous decline of the suckers, the grudgers have been slowly decreasing in numbers, taking a battering from the prospering cheats, but just managing to hold their own. After the last sucker has gone and the cheats can no longer get away with selfish exploitation so easily, the grudgers slowly begin to increase at the cheats' expense. Steadily their population rise gathers momentum. It accelerates steeply, the cheat population crashes to near extinction, and then levels out as they enjoy the privileges of rarity and the comparative freedom from grudges which this brings. However, slowly and inexorably the cheats are driven out of existance, and the grudgers are left in sole possession. Paradoxically, the presence of the suckers actually endangered the grudgers early on in the story because they were responsible for the temporary prosperity of the cheats."*

Trust yourself. You’ll know what to do and what’s best for your own baby.

They won't still be doing it when they're 16 ...probably need to change that to 25 now i have 3 teens in the house

For the baby stage, a wise friend's advice was 'the bottom of the garden is a good place to go and scream when you need to'.

If your child has a favourite toy that they can't live or sleep without, get a spare one and alternate them so they wear evenly.

My 4yo has no idea that there's a Spare Bear hidden in my wardrobe. She completely believes that I can wipe a whole puddle's worth of mud from Original Bear immediately before bedtime and return it only slightly damp. I never want her to know that it's sleight of hand and Febreze!