How do you make your DC1 feel as special as your newborn? Share with Fairy Non Bio for chance to win £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

Fairy Non Bio is sponsoring the Mumsnet Talk App, and in light of this, they’d like you to talk about your experience of making your DC1 feel special after you bring your newborn home.

Bringing a new baby into the world is always special but, when it’s your second bundle-of-joy, it’s possible that your DC1 will feel left out. Fairy Non Bio would like to hear about the ways that you’ve ensured your child continues to feel special following the arrival of their little brother or sister. Maybe you set aside a weekly block of one-on-one time with them? Perhaps you let them have some responsibility when looking after the baby, so they can feel like they’re involved? If there’s anything you do to make sure your DC1 knows they’re just as special to you as your newborn, share with Fairy Non Bio below.

If you avidly check out Mumsnet's talk boards, you should download the app for yourself. It's free, and allows you to be part of the conversation wherever you are!

All who post on the thread will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I've tried hard to carry on as normal for my eldest now that I've had my second child. Obviously it isn't always possible but I try to plan play dates and outings that I know he likes. One of the hardest things, although small, is only being able to read him a bedtime story about once a week. I always seem to be feeding/rocking the baby around that time.

I have a very natural way with kids. I've always treated all children in the same way as I do with my own. I'm like the auntie that every child wants. My tip is to make sure you engage your DC1 with your newborn and make sure you always make time for them equally. My motto is, if you treat children all the same, none of them ever feel left out or lack attention. You honestly can't lose with this method. It's worked for me for over 15 years or so. ❤️💋

We did the obvious giving a present from their new sibling which is really effective. Also lots of one to one time with either parent while the newborn was too young to go for walks etc. Other family members were fantastic helping to make the older child still feel as special as always and not just showing interest in the newborn. Also because I had to stay in hospital I saved the cheese and biscuits from my lunch so the older had that special exchange to look forward to too. Little things constantly.

I planned to have 2-year gap between my kids thinking that my eldest DD would be young enough not to remember a time without her little sis. As a result, the transition was not too tough initially. It's moreso now as they are 4 and 6 that little jealousies creep in, mainly from DD age 6 who complains little sis gets away with more things (she doesn't) and that if little sis is ''good'' then by definition older DD must be ''bad''; athough that might just be her way of getting lots more mummy cuddles. Thankfully they get on well most of the time and have a great relationship overall :)

Only referring to the baby as belonging to DS1 - how is your baby today? Is your baby hungry/tired? Please show Granny your baby etc
This meant that DS1 felt in control from the start.
Also, we sleep trained DS2 from the outset. This meant DS1 still had approx 4 hours a day when DS2 was asleep and he had 1:1 time with me.
4 & 1/2 years later, they are still best buddies.

We made sure there was time for cuddles and bedtime stories. In fact dd probably got more one to one attention when ds came along.

DS was two and a quarter when DD arrived. We had a small present for him from DD when he came to the hospital to see her. I was in for five days with DD and on the third day DS did not utter a word (highly unusual!) when he came to see me. I suddenly realized he was worried I was not coming back home (although we had told him obviously) so I asked him could be please be sure to put my fluffy slippers right by the front door so that I could put them on the minute I got home. He started talking straight away! Once home I encouraged him to help with DD and said things like "Gosh DD is crying again, she's quite noisy isn't she!" I think I said it too much because on one occasion DS said "It's OK, Mummy, I'll talk to her while you get sorted." He really surprised me how caring he could be and one of my happiest memories is of when he was lying on the floor and DD crawled over and planted a big kiss on his forehead. He looked at me with the biggest grin and said, "Mummy, she loves me." At that point I knew I'd probably got some of it right!

Giving them a present from the baby when it's born.

I only have one (older Mum and all that meant I ran out of time for more!) I've noticed from friends' experience that a present for DC1 from the newborn helps as does letting them get involved with DC2. There are lots of ways small people can help, even if it's just choosing outfits for their siblings or some gentle play.

Do things with the older one which are just for mummy and the big girl/boy and don't involve the baby. Going out for coffee and cake for example and sitting the child up and sharing with them whilst baby is left sleeping in the buggy as he/she is "too small" to take part.

When number 2 was born, we got number 1 a present and said it was from number 2!

Tandem feeding! Dd is 2.5 and still feeding. Her brother is 6 months and watching them gaze at each other as they feed is amazing. I also make sure I sit on the floor with Dd at least once per day to play a game.

we got our eldest presents when the baby was born, which was from his new baby sister. Family members also brought him little gifts when visiting with presents for the baby and made a fuss of him too so he didnt feel left out. We got him involved with helping us with the baby, like helping us with bath time, bottle feeds etc which he enjoyed. Myself and my partner would have time with my son to do without the baby.

I would pay my oldest lots of attention and give her lots of cuddles when the baby was sleeping and also attend to her first if they both needed me at the same time.

I make sure that DC1 is involved in as much with the newborn as possible and when i buy for my newborn i also buy for DC1. The older child still needs mummy time so i make sure that i devote a couple of hours a day especially to them when the newborn is napping.

I make sure that my older child helps with the baby a lot. They help me put the baby to bed and with my help, hold onto the pram and help push it when out for a walk. I always try to make them feel included in most aspects of my babies care. I bought my little girl a lifelike baby doll and when i change my babies nappy she does the same with her doll and always now copies me when i'm doing anything with the baby. I always speak about my little girl when holding the baby. "This is your big sister and she is going to teach you things and look after you" etc.

I included my son in everything he was 15 months old when I had my daughter, I would ask him to pass mummy nappies etc to help and I would let him pick little things he wanted to buy for his baby sister 5 years later they are very close

A few months before the birth to get your older child to get their head round the idea, keep mentioning the name of the upcoming child and when baby does arrive make sure that there's always time with the eldest alone, e.g. story-time and bath time.

We obviously did a great job of avoiding jealousy, by including DS in decisions, chores etc, ensuring he got a presents and attention, 1-1 time. If anything DD was jealous of her big brother from a very early age! It all depends on their temperaments as she always needed more reassurance and attention, despite her being the planned and longed for daughter. :/

I read lots of threads on here to help prepare 2yo DS for the arrival for DC2. Some of the things I did were:

• took DS to a private scan so he could see the baby and know it was real and not just an abstract concept;

• made sure he was the first visitor to see me and DD in hospital, gave him lots of cuddles, let him hold her and gave him a gift 'from the baby';

• once we were home, read his bedtime story every night so that we had a few minutes 1:1 away from DD.

DH brought twins DS1 and DS2 to the hospital to visit me and DS3. DS2 was very enthusiastic, but DS1 sat on the bed with his back to me and the baby!

We found that by including them in things such as changing, feeding, reading stories etc and letting them both know what amazing big brothers they were really helped. Baby had also bought his brothers a present each, which helped to get DS1 to turn around and at least look his ne brother!

Making sure the older childen get one to one time is really hard, but it's really important - even if it's just a few minutes snuggling on the sofa when the baby is having a nap, it all helps to make them feel loved and secure.

We involved all the family in the new arrival :)

Make a fuss of DC1 the first time that he or she meets the baby and have a gift to give from the baby.

My DC1 was 5 when his sister was born, he has always been such a Mummy's boy as he was my first. I was so worried that he would feel jealous. We got him as involved as possible in my pregnancy e.g helped him pick clothes and a present, we took him to our scans ( the nurse gave him his very own picture, which he stuck on his bedroom wall). When his little sister was born we let him hold her and he was soon reading to her! We got him a Big brother card and jumper. Now they are so close she's 9 months old now and adores her Big brother as does he his sister! Its amazingly cute :) He even likes to help with feeding changing etc. So much worry for nothing :)

We never had a problem but DC1 was always involved with Dc2. His task was to get the nappy changing kit etc so that he always played a part. There is only 22 mths between them so am not sure if this played a part,