How do you make your DC1 feel as special as your newborn? Share with Fairy Non Bio for chance to win £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

Fairy Non Bio is sponsoring the Mumsnet Talk App, and in light of this, they’d like you to talk about your experience of making your DC1 feel special after you bring your newborn home.

Bringing a new baby into the world is always special but, when it’s your second bundle-of-joy, it’s possible that your DC1 will feel left out. Fairy Non Bio would like to hear about the ways that you’ve ensured your child continues to feel special following the arrival of their little brother or sister. Maybe you set aside a weekly block of one-on-one time with them? Perhaps you let them have some responsibility when looking after the baby, so they can feel like they’re involved? If there’s anything you do to make sure your DC1 knows they’re just as special to you as your newborn, share with Fairy Non Bio below.

If you avidly check out Mumsnet's talk boards, you should download the app for yourself. It's free, and allows you to be part of the conversation wherever you are!

All who post on the thread will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Important to get the eldest exited, involved and looking forward to the birth of the newborn early in the pregnancy

We talked a lot about how lucky it was to have a younger sibling who thinks you are great!

We did the 'present' thing from the baby and also let our eldest choose a present for the baby too. Plenty of one on one time and now they are a little older trying to maintain that. Really taking the time to listen is also something I feel has made a difference.

We gave dd1 a dolls house from dd2. Always tried to refer to dd2 as dd1's sister. There was no real jealousy while dd2 was a baby, that came later once she was old enough to crawl around and compete for toys...

DSD got a special present of a new doll from DD so that she could 'play babies' with me I also asked for lots of help passing wipes, nappies, singing to DD etc etc, so she felt involved rather than shut out, and was very careful to tell DSD what a great big sister she was and how much DD loved her etc.

I planned so much to avoid this!

Each baby has brought a gift for their elder siblings. When my last baby was born, we had personalised medals for the others made saying big brother and big sister with their name. Also a card and little gift.

Also, I bought lots of pocket money type gifts to keep in a box and brought one out whenever I felt baby needed more attention (long feeding sessions etc) and gave them to the other children at times like this, little new gifts.

I also made short 1-1 times
With each of them, while baby was sleeping or husband was looking after.

We also played with dolls and read books beforehand to try to prepare them!

When I was born my big brother was told I was a present for him to play with when I was a bit older. He seemed to take well to this and saw me as something to look after. We grew up very close.

Ensuring people make a fuss of her first when visiting the new baby, baby wasn't aware but she was. Also had a bag of little wrapped gifts they could give her if arriving with baby gift but nothing for her nothing big just cars, books etc mostly from discount shops, price didn't matter it's just her getting something when baby did

Asking for help even if it meant things took 3 times as long, asking for things to be passed, letting her pick clothes for the day etc and making a big fuss about what a big help she was and what a big girl she was

Emphasis on being grown up being a good thing because she could stay up later, do x activity, have pudding etc.

We're only 6 weeks in but 2yo DS1 has reacted very.positively to DS2 so far. I try to maximise the quality of time with DS1 even if I can't do the quantity. I'm really heaping on the cuddles and affection, lavishing praise on him when he is good and helpful and generally trying to be delighted by him even when I am exhausted and the last thing I want to do is coo over his train track!

Dd1 was nearly 4 when dd2 came home so really old enough to help out and be in loved. That worked really well

After a rocky start with lots of jealous behaviour, we decided to totally love bomb DC1!! For days afterwards we were ridiculously over the top in telling him how much we loved him and how great he was. Anyone listening would have thought we had lost it but for a three year old it worked perfectly to reassure him he was still special. He soon came to realise the new baby wouldn't change our feelings towards him and started to bond with his sibling. We still bust it out occasionally if he needs it but nice not to be acting like a crazed children's tv presenter every minute of the day .

I think it's importnant to make sure you have 'alone time' with each child and don't ignore them/hush them away because you're busy with the baby. Depending on their age try and explain why babies need so much attention but it doesn't mean they are loved any less.

We use childcare and doting grandparents/aunts to make sure we have a decent amount of one to one time with each child. It's so hard to find activities that appeal to the range of age groups when you have a mix of ages. I also prioritise time with the dc over things like housework and admin, so that when I put the younger dc to bed, I could spend time with the older dc.

We did a lot of the things inhabit hers have mentioned: made sure I wasn't holding the baby when they first met, little presents to each other, DC1 helping with nappies and wipes. And definitely making sure I still had one-on-one time with DC1.

Also letting her choose how involved (or not!) to be with her little brother and not forcing it, e.g. Whether they have a bath together or separately, if she want to cuddle him or not...

She also likes correcting me/finds it funny when I make mistakes so I say things like "let's get DC2 his cheerios" and she laughs and says "no, no, you need to give him some milk!"

He's only 4 months (she's 2.5) and she's really lovely with him. I he's asleep and were playing together she'll stop to go and check on him (I'm not entirely sure what she's checking for!) and when he's awake she includes him in her games (he's often required to be a speckled frog, or a sleeping bunny, and when she goes to the moon she straps him in ("because he's only little") and takes some milk for him)

My son got a present from his baby sister, it was a toy he had been longing for for months. He was so impressed with her good taste in gifts.
My family were good at making more of a fuss over him than his new sister.
He was just naturally really caring and protective over her, we didn't get any jealousy. But he did get upset if he missed a chance to join in - he even wanted to help with every nappy change .

We've got a fairly big age gap, which makes it easier. We've always talked about DD2 as being all of our baby. DD1 is very loving and protective towards her. We didn't do the present thing as she was a bit overexcited, getting a baby was enough! She got the present a week or two later.

After 8 years and dc1 longing for a sibling we conceived and involved dc1 in the pregnancy - me and dc1 went to bed at same time each night and shared a story and cuddle. From the start we always asked dc1 opinion. After years of waiting for our new arrival we are making sure we have fun making lots of new memories

We let dc1 help with the baby which she loved - so she helps change nappies and do bath etc, even though it would be easier to do by myself. And she often chooses what we dress him in.

We didn't go on about how exciting it would be. Everyone always says oh how exciting you're getting a new brother/sister you get to play with etc and actually no, it isn't like that at all.
The baby then comes, can't do much and cries all the time while your older child is left confused. So we didn't over hype it, baby brought a gift and both times (3 dc here) the older ones have helped if they wanted to but if they don't then that's fine too

I got DC1 involved in everything including the preparations for the new arrival. We didn't do the present thing as DC1 didn't show any signs of anxiety or ill feeling towards DC2. It all went surprisingly well and my children have pretty harmonious relationships with each other

We kept up the one to one time and involved her in everything we were doing with the new arrival. She was nearly 3. She didn't seem to mind and enjoyed being patronising towards him.

We instituted "DD1 time" and "DD2 time". DD2 time as a newborn was whenever she needed feeding or was crying and DD1 understood that. As soon as DD2 slept, it was DD1 time and she could choose any activity she wanted and have all of my attention.

We got DD1 a present from DD2 when she was born and let her choose a present to give to the baby. She is 4 so able to be helpful and she gets lots of praise for getting nappies etc and looking after DD2. We talk about how much DD2 loves her and we can tell by the way she saves her biggest smiles for her, laughs at her etc. Also how DD2 is watching DD1 all the time and learning how to be like her - eating /talking etc. 1-1 time has not been easy - she's had time with DH but not so much with me due to BF. Tonight I let her stay up late, got some snacks and drinks in, downloaded the BGT app so she could use the buzzers and we sat together after putting DD2 to bed early and watched BGT. She loved it and I'm going to keep making little special times just for her.

Fantastic thread! I'm due DC2 in 7 weeks and have an almost 5 year old... avidly reading all these comments to pick up some tips xxx