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MNHQ

Shared Parental Leave and Parental Leave – what do you think and know? Chance to win £100! NOW CLOSED

301 replies

AnnMumsnet · 04/04/2016 12:24

As part of the Mumsnet Family Friendly Programme we'd love to know what you think about these new employee benefits which have been introduced in the last few years.

You can read about them below - please share on this thread your experience of them and your thoughts on them. Have you taken them up? Do you think you would? Have you heard of Parental Leave? How do you think employers feel about them? Has your employer promoted them to you/ employees? Has your partners company promoted them?

All comments welcome!

Shared Parental Leave - this is for new parents and is designed to give greater flexibility around the first year with a new baby
Government info here
ACAS guide here

Parental Leave - this is unpaid leave for parents to take care of a child's welfare - employees are entitled to 18 weeks’ leave for each child and adopted child, up to their 18th birthday with their job protected
Government info here
ACAS guide here

Both are obviously subject to specific terms.

Add your view and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 voucher for the store of their choice.

Click here to learn more about companies who are working to make the UK a more family friendly place

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

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Shared Parental Leave and Parental Leave – what do you think and know? Chance to win £100! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
littleacceb · 12/04/2016 14:14

I wish there were more time for a family to just "be" at home before at least one parent had to rush back.

mo3733 · 12/04/2016 17:39

i think its a fantastic idea because the early years are when you bond with your children and dads can bring so much to enrich their early years.

rhinosuze · 12/04/2016 17:54

I like the shared idea,would have been so helpful to me and I think it's great for people without a support network.

Parental leave is useful too although I can imagine some colleagues scoffing at the idea that you'd take a week off not from your holiday allocation for older kids

annarack99 · 12/04/2016 21:02

I think it is good that shared parental leave is available, but it is not something I was willing to do during my maternity leave, I really wanted the full year with my daughter. Parental leave is a good benefit for parents but a bit of a nightmare for employers, especially as they have no idea if/when employees might want to take it.

emms88 · 12/04/2016 21:15

Sharing parental leave is a great idea, expecting only 1 gender to parent is an outdated idea.

caffeine99 · 12/04/2016 21:17

Shared parental leave is available in the companies that my husband and I work for. I didn't consider it as I'm breastfeeding our baby and logistically it wouldn't work for my husband to be at home while I sit in work worrying about pumping or feeding the baby before I have to (I.e I'd rather nurse at home while I have the opportunity).

Parental leave is something that I would consider using to help with something like a medical problem... However I think I'd struggle with the fact that this is usually unpaid.

drspouse · 12/04/2016 22:32

Parental leave is not much use for emergencies or medical appointments as it has to be taken in blocks of a week, and with three weeks' notice. But we use it if we are getting low on AL for our annual holiday, and to enable us to spread out our AL for those emergencies/medical appointments. It is better to lose one week's pay over a year than go down a further 0.1 or 0.2 per week.

All employers have to offer it so there's no question of them "choosing to do it" or "offering it".

We used the old form of SPL (it was called additional paternity leave) for a month after I went back to work to help the DCs adjust to (more) childcare.

claza93 · 13/04/2016 06:54

Nice idea but as my other half is the main bread winner it would not have worked for us. Plus god knows what a state I would come home to - the child would be sorted but the house work / washing etc......who knows! I personally wanted to be at home with my children, I would feel upset at the thought of not being there for them x

PeppaIsMyHero · 13/04/2016 11:49

Another step forward in getting people to understand that childcare is a parental consideration rather than a women's problem.

Any of the men I know actively want a hands-on role in the care of their children. One male colleague of mine only agreed to take his (senior) role in the company if it was contractually agreed that he could leave an hour early twice a week to pick up him children as he shares the load with his (working) wife. I have a suspicion that if a woman had requested similar terms it wouldn't have been so easily granted, but this is definitely progress!

PeppaIsMyHero · 13/04/2016 11:50

Should have read 'Many of the men I know...', not 'Any'. Doh.

lottietiger · 13/04/2016 14:26

We did/do both. After my son was born I took 20 weeks off and my other half a further 20. We saved hard through the pregnant to pay for it.
My son is now three and we have both taken two weeks parental leave each year, we have taken it together and gone on long haul holiday. We initially wanted 3 weeks but couldn't justify four weeks no salary and paying for a holiday. Plus my OH employer wasn't keen on over two weeks.
They have both been great for us to spend time together as a family.

drspouse · 13/04/2016 14:44

I just ran into a friend who works for the same employer. She had no idea about the unpaid parental leave possibility but is thinking of applying for the same reason as me (our DCs are going to start school in September and for the part-time start weeks we really need some extra leave). We agreed it also might be useful for half terms while they are settling in.

ha2el · 13/04/2016 17:05

I think it is good to have the option for shared time off work for those who want it.

Lulabellx1 · 13/04/2016 20:44

When my youngest was one year old, I went back to work full time. My partner was working nights and able to care for her 3 days a week. We called it Daddy day care. They had a ball and he still talks about how lucky he feels to have been able to spend so much time with her. She has just started school and my other half has now changed his shifts so he can work days now... I thin he preferred Daddy day-care!

If I couldn't be there for my child myself, the next best person I would want to be there would be there Dad.

I think shared maternity/paternity leave is a great idea. As long as both parents want the same thing. x

hayls83 · 13/04/2016 21:52

I think the idea of shared parental leave is great but is impractical for most families circumstances. One partner may be the main earner and it would effect finances too much to lose out on that wage. For the families it works for, its great but I think they will be few and far between.

Anj123 · 13/04/2016 22:12

I don't think the shared parental leave would have worked that well for me. I breast fed my daughter until she was 8 months old and was unable to express so it would have been difficult for my husband to look after her. The parental leave when children are older is good as it give more options but how many parents can afford to take unpaid leave? I think anything that gives parents more choice is good but there are always consequences which might be unforeseen and it won't suit everyone.

Eva50 · 13/04/2016 22:59

Dh would not have been interested in taking paternity leave. He's not keen on babies, even his own! I have used parental leave but it was difficult to get any approved during school holidays as the maximum number of staff were off anyway and there was no cover and there's not much point in taking it when they're at school even if you could get it approved.

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 14/04/2016 07:20

I am currently on maternity leave with DS1.

My company (SME, design firm)has offered shared parental leave for over 5 years now and, in a male dominates company, many of my colleagues have taken it up. This is typically through the n u thee taking the first six months and the father taking the remainder. We do have a parental pay package in excess of the standard which allows people to make this decision without worrying too much about the finances. Indeed, I earn significantly more than my husband but am taking 12 months (I'm actally contractually entitled to 36) leave as the pay arrangements are more generous than his.

My employer is an employee owned organisation and takes the view that they want to keep the workforce happy and part of thst is helping to manage the work life balance, including having children.

When I go back in October I will be condensing my hours into 4 days a week to give me some tune with our son. My husband is a teacher so will get the holidays to spend with him. If we need to take time off due to illness etc, it is easier for me to work from home so I will probably do this. However I work in central London, a 90 minute commute away, so my husband will be the primary point of contact and able to be at nursery within ten minutes, then looking after him until I get home. He has a number of colleagues with children and they all chip in to cover lessons if such events occur.

We know that we're very lucky in how this is set up, as it seems others have to rely on the legislation to be able to do this.

Maddaddam · 14/04/2016 09:23

I think it's excellent. We did share the childcare almost from the start anyway, before paid parental leave came in, because I wanted to go back to work quickly each time and DP wanted to work part time and share the childcare, but the system discouraged this - DP got no paid leave and I had to give up some of my paid leave before it ran out.

16 years on (from the first) we still share childcare 50:50 - sharing the baby care set a good pattern we stuck to.

prettybird · 14/04/2016 09:40

I think the schemes are a good first step towards gender equality. If companies realise that men as well as women could take time off for kids, then that would help even subconscious prejudice. However, in order for that to happen, more men need actually to make use of this flexibility.

Also, if a company has a enhanced maternity policy, then that should also apply to any paternity/shared family leave policy.

minipie · 14/04/2016 10:34

I don't think there will be many fathers taking extended paternity leave unless:

(a) it is paid better - I think pay terms need to be the same whether it's a man or a woman taking the leave, which means employers who currently pay enhanced maternity pay should have to offer enhanced paternity pay too. (Even if that means they have to reduce the enhancement they offer to women because they are paying it out to more people overall).

(b) it becomes more culturally normal, even expected, particularly by employers. This may happen gradually under the current rules but I suspect not. I think we need a "use it or lose it" month a la Sweden, or even a compulsory paternity leave month after the woman goes back to work . (Again I would welcome these changes even if it means mothers' leave has to be cut from 12 months to 11 so as not to overburden businesses.)

Personally I don't think we need parents to be able to take time off work together, apart from the first couple of weeks. That's a bit of a luxury. Far more important is that more fathers get experience of looking after their kids on their own.

ann28 · 14/04/2016 13:10

It's brilliant! I'm going to be applying for parental leave next year, we'll see how it goes down with my employer!

cookie09 · 14/04/2016 14:32

I do like the idea behind both shared and parental leave. I feel that its a shame that it is only just recently that shared leave has come into force as i feel in this day and age it is fair for both parents to take equal responsibility bringing children up. It shouldn't only be the mother who gets the leave. I had postnatal depression after having my twins and i think being cooped up in the house with 2 babies for a year stuck a nail in the coffin. If i was able to to go back work a bit sooner and my partner have time off to look after the kids it could have helped my mental state. It would have been fair all round i believe. But i do think its a good thing.

BellaWella86 · 14/04/2016 14:58

I think its a great step forward in recognising the needs of modern families. It isn't suitable for everyone, but fantastic that the option is there.

Unthoughtknown · 14/04/2016 19:52

In my experience (HR small firm) while the aim of spl was to make things more equal between parents in reality decisions are driven by finances eg if the mother earns more or if father has better terms and conditions.
Separately I think it's a bit at odds with guidelines on breastfeeding as well. I take my hat off to women who work and ebf, I couldn't do it.