Do you struggle to juggle your career and family life? Tell us about your work-life balance woes and you could win £50 or tickets! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

Workfest 2016 is almost upon us (14 May), and in light of this we'd like you to share your career conundrums.

This one-day event is packed to the rafters with advice for women in - or returning to - the workplace, with a range of workshops and one-on-one sessions hosted by self-made entrepreneurs and career experts. It could be just what you need to kick-start your career, as attested to by these Mumsnetters from last year:

"I felt truly inspired and motivated...I have 'the fire in my belly' to move forward and reach my goals."

"The day was much more than I had hoped. I was and still am in awe of the speakers and gained so much positive energy."

"One of the best value conferences I have been to in a long time."

So perhaps you're struggling to kick-start your career post-kids? Or maybe you have a stellar business idea, but are lacking the practical advise needed to make it a reality? You might be in a rut, and are looking for ways to climb in your current profession. Whatever your dilemma, we'd love to hear about it, and would love even more to see you at Workfest 2016!

Add your comments to this thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will win their choice of a £50 store voucher or a pair of Workfest 2016 tickets .

thanks, MNHQ

Very hard to balance. I left my high flying city career to be around for the kids and work part time locally. Took a massive pay cut. I don't regret it at all.
I started working for myself nearly ten years ago and now the kids are older it is pretty much full time, earning a fraction of what I would have in the city but still a very decent wage. Worst time is school holidays, even whilst the kids are yr 7 and yr10 they don't need me around all the time in the holidays as they have their own plans but I feel like I am neither doing a good job of being a mum nor of running my business.

An ongoing blinking tricky balance ....

It's really hard. I work full time in a job that is home based but can also expect me to be anywhere in the country. My husband is self employed and ultimately it's him that has to be flexible when I need to be away but it's also his business that suffers the most as he only gets paid when he works.

My days working from home are my saviours- I can do a few loads of washing, have my supermarket shopping delivered and enjoy the quiet of an empty house.

My main woe is the cost of childcare and the options available to us.

The reason I am working full time is apparently so that we have some extra family money for treats, weekends away and the odd new outfit. It hasn't worked out like that. It's all a bit depressing. Reality is that I need to change career to something better paid, but I'm not sure if it's too late or what I would do.

I find it really tricky to achieve the right balance. I work part time based from home at a lower level role to keep stress down. This works for us.

Yep struggling big time now ds has started school and I work full time. I'm feeling a little bit like I'm failing at everything - a part time mum and an uncommitted employee - my flexible
working request was laughed of the office and now I'm knackered.

It's just a constant juggle, especially during the school holidays. Neither DP or I have flexible working eg flexible working hours, working from home etc. With no family support nearby, illness is particularly challenging. I have regularly put my children to school or nursery when they should have been off, and gone in myself to work.

Childcare is soooo expensive - here it costs £86 daily during school holidays, which negates my £40+K salary. After-School clubs often finish at 5.45, which doesn't tie in with a 5pm work finish plus commute. We actually moved house to find childcare which ran from 7.30-6.30 & provided school holiday care. A bit excessive you might think, but it was either that or give up work, which is just as extreme! And not really an option for many, especially after redundancy & debt, as we have experienced, plus lack of job security for many. I've had bad experiences with childminders (poor quality care) and nannies are financially non-viable on my salary.

Those who seem able to "make it work" are those who have flexible working, with grandparents nearby or can afford a nanny. Other than that, it's a constant struggle, which nearly bankrupts us every month, with mortgage-sized childcare costs.

I'd like to think that in my children's generation, both parents will share the burden of childcare equally, that employers would be required by law to offer flexible working, and school hours tie in more with the normal working day/life. Well, I can dream on....

I work 3 days a week, DH works 4 days a week but we still struggle!
We have no close family nearby to help out so we have to do it all all the time (which is what we of course knew and we don't expect anything else).
I've just had to lower expectations - the house is a mess sometimes, we eat takeaway / frozen food sometimes, we don't shower every day (ugh I know!!)...
We know it's only this tough short term though (our DC are very young) and as long as we're all fed, slept, washed, wearing clean clothes and are safe, healthy & happy, we know we're doing okay!

Though I am constantly on at DH to get a cleaner. ..

I have to say reading previous posts I feel very privileged. But even with that it still feels a struggle.

We have DD age 3 and another on the way. After a year of mat leave I went back 3 days, but quickly moved organisations after it was made clear there would be no promotions if i wanted to work part time. I worked 3 days for a year at equivalent grade (though my working hours were effectively 3.5 days) then a promotion to a 4 day a week post. As DD is older this has felt more acceptable. I do a bit of freelance and have also done some extra training so it's effectively been 4.5 days for about 5 months, but it has probably been worth it for longer term reasons.

This has been possible because OH does compressed hours so 5 days in 4. I also have an amazing flexible childminder. She made my previous post, which required me to drop my daughter at 7.15 am, possible. We also both chose public sector careers for the work life balance and reasonable hours. We have both suffered from much reduced progression opportunities since the recession, but overall it has been a reasonable choice.

Both working allows us greater leverage, so our living conditions are better. We both have a pension. We can save a little for our children's future. I have kept my career alive which offers greater progression in the future. Being an SAHM would not be right for me - I need the stimulation my work offers. I am therefore happier and a better parent in my DDs presence. Ditto OH.

I do more wife work. It will be interesting to see how things pan out with more children. The house is not always clean. DD watches more TV than desirable as I am tired. She has less creative play than I would like and potty trained late as I couldn't get a decent chunk of time off to focus on it. She has no choice but to tolerate our work now - I will be interested to hear her views as she is more able to articulate them. I get very little time to myself. I don't have time/energy to shop in order to dress myself well. My self care has suffered and I am aging less well than I would like if I could care for myself better. We are both overweight and I have struggled to find time to implement exercise. It was very stressful when we had significant health problems in the extended family. Things are fairly well balanced but it doesn't take much to throw us off in either home or work spheres. I am aware of the many privileges of my life and grateful for them. I am still tired though, and it could all crash down fairly easily.

I work FT and a bit extra and my DH works slightly reduced hours so is off one day a week. My career is going really well but I'd like to reduce to 3.5 days as I feel like I miss too much, the house is always messy and weekends are a whirlwind of errands and chores. My children are young and I just hope it'll get easier but I suspect it won't.

P

I used to think I might go up to full time when my kids were secondary school age, but I'm actually finding I'm needed more than ever. It's more flexible now I don't need formal childcare, eg if I need to work late one day. But I'm finding that the parenting that teens need is less "transferable". They need me to talk to, teach them things, help with homework and generally keep on top of their lives. Paying for childcare wouldn't help - they need a parent at home a fair bit of the time

Currently pretty happy with work-life balance - having DS seems to have curbed tendency to overwork, w/o actually having any noticeable effect on career. (Which suggests those late nights previously weren't terribly effective!)

I think this is down to the following, in order of importance:

1. DP and I share housework/childcare/organisation fairly. We're both part time, and both have a day with DS in the week.
2. Flexible and understanding employers (mine from the start, DP's more old school company needed a bit of working on from him but have come round now).
3. We don't have massive commutes.

That said, DS starts school in September so we'll have to figure it out again then. School holidays may be a pain.

I am trying to balance being a student at uni, working shifts and raising a family. It is nigh on impossible to keep up with the housework!

I was lucky as I was able to go job share after my maternity leave and my husband went down to working 4 days per week. Now she is 11 we have the same arrangement and it works well. We don't have relatives nearby to help out. I must admit this is one of the reasons we have decided only to have one child. Also I now do not apply for full time jobs which limits what I can apply for.

Dp and I both work 4 days a week. Dd has a fantastic childminder. It's actually (whispers) pretty easy. Things would get tougher I'm sure if we had another. I think the secret is both parents 'juggling' together.

Household chores are left for the weekend which is a shame (or they don't get done at all! I do not get much time with my husband as I am always tired and ready for my bed not long after the kids have gone to bed! exhuasting!

DH and I both work ft. We have 6yoDS and 3yoDD and it is a struggle to juggle it all.
DH is normally away 2-3 nights a week with work and I normally have about 2 nights a month away.

As DC get older they need us more because of all the other activities they do.

I enjoy my career but DH and I have talked about how it would be better for us as a family for one of us to be at home more. As he is the higher earner, that will be me.

I don't think any other support would change our decision as we want to be around with the DC.

I don't think there is a perfect solution, you just have to do what feels best for your family.

I left a contract role when I was heavily pregnant with DD 2.5years ago, have thought about going back to work a great deal but feel like I don't have the skills anymore. I don't mind being financially dependant on DH as I look after DD full time but I do miss the adult conversation from the work place. Also TTC right now and keep thinking that isn't the time to find a job / settle DD into childcare if I'll need to go on maternity leave again... Or maybe I'm just making excuses and too scared?! If I do go back to work it will be my solely my responsibility to pick up / drop off at childcare option as DH job involves travel and erratic hours and no family nearby at all. I was quite senior before I left work and I can't imagine starting a new job where I need to always leave at a set time to pick up DD. Surely I will be cast aside pretty quickly. It really is hard... I studied damn hard throughout my education and always thought it would be easy 'to have it all' but have learnt the hard way that it really isn't. We're happy as a family though, I think my biggest problem is that all my life long friends have gone back to work (all back to their previous permanent jobs) after having kids and I am constantly being asked when I will be going back.

My young nephew is in the process of being assessed as we think he may have high functioning autism or Aspergers so I have been watching a lot of programmes about the condition. I would love to start up a business to help adults on the autistic spectrum find employment having seen a young man on one of the documentaries struggling to find a job in spite of his skills. I don't even know where to start or where I would find the time or money to do this though.

I work 24 hours a week over 3 days, DH is a f/t university student. DD is in nursery, only on the days I work. A couple of years ago, DH was at college p/t & I worked 24 hours p/w split over 5 days, with various shifts to mirror what DH did, as we couldn't afford childcare. One of us would look after her for the morning while the other was out, then we'd meet outside college & hand her over. It worked ok but was pretty tiring, as it meant a 2 mile walk with her for each of us every day, rain, shine or snow. As we were (& still are) on a fairly low income, we have no car so we used to pick up the groceries on the way home.
It's easier now DH is at university, not least because DH gets student grant, loan, & childcare costs. We're still classed as a "low income family" though. If I went to work full-time, & DH got a larger grant for DD's childcare costs, we'd actually be worse off as we'd lose tax credits etc, plus some of DH's student finance as I'd be earning more on paper. I honestly believe we only manage financially because we live up North where housing is rather cheaper. Unfortunately that means wages are lower & most towns only have a couple of big employers so there isn't always much scope for variation or advancement in your career.

I do the majority of housework - partly because it's in my best interests that DH get a good degree (so I can switch jobs to something I enjoy), & partly because I have higher standards that DH re the house. It's pretty draining & thankless sometimes, feeling that I go to a job I find unfulfilling, stressful & where there is little in the way of career prospects, then to come home & do all the clearing up as DH is writing another assignment. I can't afford to switch careers & take a pay drop, & there is nothing similar locally so we can't move. Even if we wanted to move, we'd struggle to find housing as we're on tax credits... trapped.

I do think that the costs of childcare are prohibitive to many families working as much as they would like, to having a second child, or to having a decent work-life balance. I don't think the answer should automatically be to top their income up with tax credits, as the end result of that is that the government is essentially subsidising employers to keep their workers on a low wage. I think it's a shame that childcare is so expensive, in many countries the costs of childcare represents a far lower proportion of the average family's outgoings. Obviously having children costs money, & no-one should realistically expect not to have to pay for the expenses of their children. However I know a lot of people who have never had children through choice, & have a nice comfortable life & expect to have a comfortable pension - one that my children & I will subsidise through National Insurance contributions. As it should be. But I find it hard not to snap back & complaint about the lack of any prospect of a state pension for myself & my family, when they complain about the costs of childcare subsidies they have never used, & tax credits they could never claim, as they chose to remain childless.

I'm a teacher and work full time. I have two children under 4. My DH and I split the maternity leave with both children. Each child had parental care for the first year of their lives.

Grandad now looks after the children while we work however my DH does have a day or sometimes two days off during the week. My DH is very hands on.

I leave work by 3.30 every day when I don't have a meeting or something else which needs to be done e.g. Parents evening or course attendance. If some aspect of my job is not completed before I leave so be it. I do on occasion work through break times.

I would like more time during the week with my children but I need to work for financial reasons. The guilt is real.

Just to add the house is never tidy but something has got to give.

It's a difficult choice between spending time with your kids and working in order to earn enough money to enjoy life.

I'd like to do a masters to further my career, but as a single mum I'm struggling to find the time or the energy! DD starts school this year, so maybe then...

I work a condensed working week so I get every Monday off which always helps with childcare costs. I do have to stay away over night sometimes which can be hard on my partner.