Celebrate the launch of My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 by sharing your dos and don’ts for throwing a big family wedding and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher. NOW CLOSED!

[ZaneMumsnet]

Weddings should be occasions of joy and happiness; however there are some times when they can be stressful and downright insufferable. From unreasonable demands from brides to issues over inviting (or not inviting) children, not to mention the sticky issue of wedding lists and seating plans, they can be a bit of a nightmare. To mark the return of the long awaited romantic comedy My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, we would like to hear the rules you’d put in place for successful big family weddings.

Written by Academy Award® nominee Nia Vardalos, who stars alongside the entire returning cast of favourites, the film reveals a Portokalos family secret that will bring the beloved characters back together for an even bigger and Greeker wedding. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 hits cinemas on March 25.

Check out the trailer below:

If you were coming up with a list of dos and don'ts for how to throw a big family wedding what would they be? Have you been to some terrible ones you’d like to share a story about? If you were going to have one, how would you make sure it all went without a hitch?

Whatever your ideas and stories are, we'd love to hear them.
Everyone who posts on this thread with their tips will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw,
MNHQ

Standard Insight Terms and Conditions apply

DO make decisions based on what you and your partner want - other people can have what/who they want at their own weddings.

DON'T however, be mean. If a decision you make will damage relationships, remember your wedding will only last a day, it's not the be all and end all if MIL-to-be has her cousin there. Inviting people just to the evening do can be a good compromise.

I'm getting married in a couple of months and have 130 day guests and 50 evening guests so I know all about throwing big family weddings! My Do's would be: make sure the seating plan takes into account which family members are better sitted together and which ones are better apart; have goody bags for the young children to keep them busy especially during the speeches; ask your mum and further mother in law for advice on wedding stuff to make them feel included; get help from the mother in law with the table plan - best thing I done as I wouldn't have a clue who is best seated with you on my hubby to be's side of the family!

Don't: have a free bar cos you're uncle ricky will drink it dry; don't have a chocolate fountain when family kids are going or your cousins will be annoyed with the amount of cleaning they will have to do!

Oo... this is a hard one, I opted for the smallest wedding ever - but if I had gone big - these are the Dos & Don'ts I'd have followed!

DO accept you can't control every element of it - making it big, means relinquishing some control. It can still be what you want it to be, but more guests means more people to arrive on time, to gather up for photoshoots, to meet & greet, get seated, eat, etc.

DON'T invite any guests you know have existing beef - or if you do, tell them both that's it your day & any beef should be left at the do. If either or both can't do that, they should not be welcome.

DO embrace that kids will add a really special element to your day - yes they may be screaming in the church/registry office, plucking the petals off your bouquet & smearing chocolate cake over your dress (eek!) but they're excitement & innocence will make it so special, especially when the dancing starts!

DON'T have a free bar - if people want to get hammered, let them pay for it themselves! It's not about the booze, it's about the company.

:) x

DOs -If parents want to invite extended family you barely know, let them, but make it clear that they will be in charge of dealing with all their questions, helping with travel arrangements, etc. This worked really well for us

-Don't be afraid of a non-traditional do. The best wedding I have been to was an afternoon/evening in a rather shabby marquee in a field, hog roast, bring your own booze, no table plan, and dancing under the stars

Don'ts: No free bar! nobody needs the stress of guessing how much of a bill good old Uncle Fred is racking up with a constant stream of triple whiskies. (although we made sure we found a non-hotel venue with a very good value bar, so nobody felt ripped off)

DO: let go of the stress and control and waft down the aisle (or wherever!). Look at the love on everyones faces. They all here because they want to be.

DONT: compromise on the dress. At all.

buckley chuckling at a 'BEEF FREE ZONE' all beef to be checked in at the door. You may collect all beef items at 12 along with coats.

I REPEAT.... BEEF FREE ZONE!

I do amuse myself!!

Don't be bullied into doing things you don't really want to do.

As others have said, it is a good idea to keep some things secret. I wish I'd not asked for opinions on seating plans - it caused a bit of friction before the wedding. The day itself was fine luckily.

I made organising our wedding easier by screwing the first few jobs up so spectacularly that my other half felt compelled to take over and sort the whole thing. All I had to do was turn up and remember my lines. :D

Don't - wear lace hold up stockings as you run the risk of looking like Nora batty
Don't- scrimp with stick on nails, just get a manicure. My mate ended up with a stick on nail stuck to her wedding dress
Do - be careful what song you pick for your first dance, go old school to avoid me and hubbys Ronan Keating embarrassing choice

DO

• Keep drinkers and non drinkers happy at the evening reception by having a fun photo booth
• Only do things you are comfortable with.
• have live music if you can afford it

DON'T

• Be bullied into doing lots of cultural things if you're not comfortable. I didn't want lots of big Indian wedding kerfuffles so I appeased parents by having a free for all pre wedding henna night where my mum could do nuts.
• inevitably there will be 'issues' with family members on the day. DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!

Do things the way you want them to be and don't get influenced or manipulated about changing things you have already planned. It is your wedding and family members are guests. If they are not happy then they don't have to attend.

Stay happy - it is your day after all!

Get friends and family to pitch in. We had friends doing the cake, favours, food and transport

Do - whatever the hell YOU want!!
Don't - listen to anyone except yourself and your wedding coordinator

I had a small wedding at a registry office as couldn't face inviting multiple relations I haven't seen/spoken to for years. Remember it's meant to be a happy day and the start of a marriage not just one day.

Don't ban children please, it makes it very difficult for many people to attend and what is the point of a family wedding when half the family can't come.

I don't really like the idea of big over the top weddings but I accept that plenty of people like to do things that way. I think its a sad start to married life to spend an absolute fortune on just one day when it could be so much better spent! I organised my sister's wedding and it was fantastic. She got a beautiful dress from ebay for very little. We had a registry office booked followed by a meal at Pizza Express who decorated the table with balloons and things for us. Then back to my house for a whole weekend of partying! We had booze and buffet food and a chocolate fountain, lots of guests stayed with us and a few booked hotels locally. It was memorable for being different and was based upon lots of fun! The bridal suite was a gazebo put up in one of the bedrooms and decorated with fairy lights, it looked fantastic!

Don't give specific dates on which you are free or you may find yourself having unwanted (though loved) guests often!

Don't forget to enjoy your reception -- having a separate dress with some stretch to it for dancing and eating could save you a lot of uncomfortable moments! :)

My tip would be DON'T, but if you do, then do it in as short a timescale as possible. We managed in 3 months.

Seems simple but make sure you get your guests' names right on the invites

I was invited to a wedding with my DH. It was a friend of his from school. The fiancée hadn't been invited to our wedding because my DH didn't know she existed when we did the numbers so unfortunately we just didn't have room when his friend asked for a +1.

Fast forward a year and we get an invite addressed to (names changed)

David and Rebecca Pegs.

Except my name is (changed) Catherine. So nothing like Rebecca.

Obviously we didn't mention it just accepted from David and Catherine. At the wedding my DH jokingly mentioned it to the best man (another good friend from school) who relayed the story to the groom! He was mortified and apologised profusely. We all had a laugh. No harm done.

Later that evening we're all hammered and the bride goes round the table greeting everyone. She gets to me and DH and says "maybe if you'd bothered to invite me to your wedding I'd have remembered your name!" Fortunately I have no recollection of this and apparently just smiled and nodded according to DH.

The upside is I actually met "Rebecca" who was actually invited with my DH's other school friend to the wedding. We bonded over the humorous pairing of her and my DH. She's no longer with his friend but she's one of my best friends and is my DD2's godmother. We also cleared the air with the bride when we caught up with them a couple of years later. So a happy ending all round.

I'm from a huge family and chose to elope abroad instead as I had seen others have total stress meltdowns!

The worst was one niece who tried to ban children from the wedding - resulted in huge arguments and falling outs which are still going on 4 years later!

If you have to do it I would recommend tai chi or yoga to relax

pleeeese make it about you. you can come under so much pressure and will want to change for it. but don't because years down the line you wont remember it with joy like you would if you just do your own wants and your own things.
think of the family,coming together,the joy you want from that and then what you imagine could bring that.
find a farm,rent the barn,few spring flowers in jars,candles,band,hog roast,done:)

It's our second time around for both of us we have decided not to invite all the extended family, some we haven't seen for years who never phone or make contact and spend more money on the people we cherish. It might be small and intimate but each detail for guests we know will be appreciated and full of love given to the guests and from the guests. Xx

DON'T invite people just because they are family!!!! Invite people you want to be at your special day :)
Do....have lots and lots of fun

Don't do it - go for cheap and cheerful and then have an amazing honeymoon instead!