How do you talk to your daughters about periods? Share your tips with Lil-Lets for a chance to win a £300 gift voucher NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team at Lil-Lets would love to hear your tips on talking to your daughter(s) about growing up and preparing for their period. Or, how you faired having the same talk with your own mum.

Lil-Lets say "we are often asked by parents how best to approach that all important discussion with their daughters as they become a teen, grow up and start their periods. We know MN is a massive source of support for parents and different stages of the parenting journey and we'd love to hear your tips and experiences with this topic".

Please share your top tips on how to chat to your daughter(s) about growing up and preparing for their period. Lil-Lets also want to hear your tales of the same talk with your own mum.

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MNHQ
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I have three daughters aged between 5 yrs and 15 yrs. My approach has always been open. Ally children (have two sons as well) used to follow me to the bathroom when small so obviously had an awareness of sanitary products. When they started to ask questions about "mummy nappies" I explained to them that yes it was blood, no it was not sore. All women bleed once a month and it means they have no baby in their tummy. I then explained that the body was every month making a little bed for a potential baby which is the size of a grain of rice just in case one wants to start growing and that gets flushed out and replaced each month so it really is clean blood.
Basically I gave then the biologically correct explanation and built upon it over the years. Seems to have worked quite well over the years. The only step up from childhood was that when my daughter started having periods she asked about tampons and we went and got a variety for her to experiment with as she felt comfortable about the idea.
Incidentally my son's have never presented as uncomfortable when I am out shopping with them and get tampons and pads. They would also go to the chemist for me to buy supplies when needed. The boys are older teenagers/young adults.

I am open and honest with my DD. She is 11 and I think we are more than ready for when her period starts. She talks about it with her friends now she is yr7 as a few already have theirs and this is reassuring.

We have been discussing periods since she was probably yr4, I also bought the 'whats happening to me' book for my DCs (have DS age 13 too) and DD has read both the boys and the girls frequently.

I cant remember having much of a chat with my mom sadly :(
DD knows her period is imminent and we already have hair removal, make up and hairstyling to deal with.

My 11yr old DD started her periods two months ago, when she was still 10. Fortunately it wasn't a shock or surprise as she'd been developing in all the other ways for at least a year.
I've always wandered around naked when getting ready upstairs, had an open door policy and left sanitary products lying around in an attempt to ensure there is as little embarrassment about these things as possible. Also explained the basic biology of how babies come about and the fact that bodies change in different ways from the word go really. I think even when they're pre-schoolers you can chat easily about the fact that boys and girls have different "bits" and that they grow and change into being more like their mummies and daddies bodies.
For me, I think having an acceptance of bodies in all their different shapes, sizes and forms is hugely important. When it came to body hair, growing boobs and periods you can then lead on from that by talking about how we're all different and progress at different speeds. My DS, for example, who's nearly 13 is showing no signs of puberty at all!
I got a pack of different sanitary products and put them in a little make up bag about six months ago for her. Then, about a month before she actually started, we spent a very entertaining 20 minutes in the bathroom with me demonstrating (with knickers on over leggings!), how to position a sanitary towel in your knickers, how to dispose of one, how often you should change them and what position I adopt when inserting a tampon! She was amused and horrified in equal measure

My dds are still quite young but I'm open with them. we have the usbourne growing up books, I've read them with ds (9) and dds are aware of roughly what we were speaking about. I don't think its worth waiting to have a big talk, just discuss things as they happen. When I've had babies, DC were told how about sex but in age appropriate ways and they have accepted what they wanted to.

When I was growing up, I had older sisters so had an idea of things. My mum was very open and I have always been happy to ask her/speak to her about anything so I hope my dds stay the same way with me.

I've never had any bathroom privacy from my daughter (!) so it hasn't been a big deal to talk about periods.
I have obviously told her age appropriate information and answered all questions honestly and openly but she's still quite shy about body development which is a shame.
I'm old enough to remember when the first ads for products were shown on TV, it has really helped me to be more open about it compared to my mother's generation!

My daughter s nearly 13 and autistic, she has a very low understanding and it can be difficult to talk to her about anything really. I feel quit stressed and unprepared for her teen years and the prospect of her starting her periods. I quite recently purchased some books made specifically for Autistic girls reaching puberty- some to read myself & others to share with her. I have also discussed the matter with her special needs school who have obviously dealt with it all with other girls. I also have a 6 year old daughter, I feel much more confident discussing these things with her, I am quite open & happy to discuss / chat with her about any of these issues as I want her to be well prepared.

Don't wait for her to come to you with questions growing up. Talk early about changes such as , growth spurts, and hormonal changes and periods from the age of 7/8 and start talking often at relevant times so she is comfortable to Approach you as she grows up. Rather tell her before she starts her period than when she's started as likely hood is that she won't want to tell you!

Look for moments when you can teach
Or talk about adult things -such as when watching television and sanitary towel advert comes on , that's a perfect time to discuss what it is.

Talk about your own experiences with her also as that helps so she doesn't feel embarrassed to approach you.

I've always been open with my 2 dd's about growing up, sex and relationships, etc. They've always followed me to the toilet from when they could walk, and we don't have locks on the doors (if it's properly closed, you simply knock first) so they've often seen me using tampons or seen blood on knickers, etc. I've always explained things according to their age and interest/understanding.

We can joke and tease each other about things (including dad) and I'm proud to say that by the time they had sex - ed at school, nothing came as a surprise/shock to them as we'd already discussed it.

I've always explained to them that they couldn't go around telling everyone what they knew; as if that child wasn't ready to hear this stuff it could frighten them and it was really for their parents to tell them about it as they would know when they were ready to hear it. This was also applied to my 2 girls. My youngest is more inquisitive than my oldest, who has Aspergers and is a few years younger emotionally than her actual age.

With regard to their periods, they both started at 10yo and are both open about needing pads, etc and when they're on. The youngest will use tampons occasionally, but the eldest won't as she struggles with them (found them very uncomfortable ). I've shown them how to use them, where to place them and how to dispose of them, etc. If they run out they know to just let me know.

I was always too embarrassed to talk to my mum about such things (it just wasn't done) and hid it from her for months when I started my periods, so I wanted it to be different with my children.

A long way off for me, but I hope to introduce gradually in an age appropriate way as per some of the excellent advice above.

One thing's for sure I know how NOT to do it: my mum left a book on my bed, which was quite broad in content & she didnt explain/talk at all about it. I started the next year while on a school trip and was crying my eyes out thinking there was something critically wrong with me. A friend's mum had done a better job of explaining fortunately & had given her emergency supplies.

This is really timely for me as I'd just, by coincidence, bought What's Happening To Me for my 9-year-old. We've been trying to talk casually about puberty and periods since forever, really, but of late I've started thinking I need to get more specific.

With apologies to Lil-Lets as they're looking for tips not questions, but can anyone tell me what their dd's timeline was? Obviously it's different for every girl, but I'm trying to get a handle on whether the the pre-puberty has started. My y4 dd has occasionally been getting really smelly armpits for about a year (like footballers' changing room stinky), which we manage fine with regular washing and shirts changed every day. Then over Xmas she pointed out that she's got one solitary pubic hair (very unembarrassed, she was twanging it while watching TV).

She has absolutely no breasts, is very very lean and hipless, but is tall for her age. I was 13 when I started so sort of expected her to be the same, but now I'm wondering whether she might be earlier and whether we ought to be talking more about pads/tampons and the joys of stained knickers, leaking etc.

And has anyone tried those pants, Thinx? I was wondering whether they came in small sizes as could be useful if she's ever worried about starting.

My mother hadn't told me anything when my periods started - she noticed and explained only that it was something that happened to women every month. When I was 15 she noticed me reading something in one of the papers (about babies) and asked did I understand it. I said yes and she said thank goodness and that was it.

With my daughter I answered any questions she had as she asked them. I gave her a book to read before she went to secondary school and we then discussed anything she wasn't clear on. She has always been able to talk to me about anything which was worrying her - though sometimes it takes a while for her to admit it!

We're pretty free and easy around here. Always had lots of discussion about periods, including the very popular "put a tampon in water" exercise. (did that one a few times).

And we had that book ""What's happening to me?"

I did stop short of a celebratory "menstruation cake", but bought each dd a box of chocolates for their first period. For iron replacement purposes.

thankgoditsover my DD started having BO when she was just 9! Then started sprouting mini boobs just after 10yrs old (now big enough to wear a soft fabric bra) and got pubic hair around the same time - she now has a fully fledged bush (sorry, TMI!). Periods started two months ago, when she was two months short of her 11th birthday. We had some "spotting" one month which I took as an early warning sign, then a proper period about 4-5 weeks after that. I wasn't sure if we'd go several more weeks / months before the next one but no, the next one arrived like clockwork 4.5 weeks later

ooh, and I brought my DD a lovely "grown up" silver necklace and gave it to her the day she started, along with a little pep talk about how amazing it is to be a woman. I wanted her have positive memories of starting her periods, not traumatic ones . Unlike me, who started her periods on a minibus journey to Alton Towers with the youth club my dad ran - and no, my mum wasn't on that trip!

Oh poor you Dotty! It's the whole combination of minibus, Alton Towers and Dad's youth club that makes you think that the god of menstruation has a sick sense of humour.

And also, yikes, re schedule for BO-boobs-periods. Mine was 8 when she started stinking. I'll watch for the mini boobs and proper pubic hair (am presuming this one is some sort of random).

I have no idea! She hasn't taken after me for sure, I was about 13 when it all kicked in

Luckily I have boys so in my family the conversation about periods hasn't arisen. I talked about it with niece and found it quite entertaining, we actually laughed and giggled about it. I think nowadays there is much more information readily available via magazines, internet etc and peers, that most young girls are quite informed, confident and happy with their choices. Unlike us a generation ago, who were embarrassed and afraid about periods

My DD is a tiny 3yo but I've always been very open with her and her older brother about periods and babies. I never get the bathroom to myself so they've seen me changing pads/tampons/mooncup and I answer their questions every time as factually and simply as I can. I love the bedsheet analogy from a pp! I think it's important that both girls and boys grow up knowing that periods are entirely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about.

I don't understand this thread title at all "how do you talk to your daughter about becoming a teen?"

Ern well, you'll wake up on your 13th birthday and you'll be a "teen"

Ah, so you mean how to you talk to your daughter about periods? I see! Can't believe mn was too squeamish to put that in the title. And since my DD started her periods at 11 the teen reference was a bit lost on me.

As for the term "parenting journey" we'll just gloss over that I think.

So, how did I talk to her? Very matter of factly I hope. I also attended the schools parent and daughter session bout it which I thought was very well done.

And yes, I am grumpy.

My dd started her period aged 11 which is quite young. Her friend started a few months before her so the subject was then raised. I bought her a little information book and a few samples of sanitary towels to look at. She doesn't cope with this kind of conversation too well as she gets very uncomfortable so I let her read the book and in down time ie when she was in the passenger seat of the car I was driving I would ask her how things were going. It seemed to work well for us but all children are different.

Point noted about thread title: now amended

Much less twee thank Ann.

I'm feeling less hormonal grumpy now

DD is v la la la fingers in ears about it all atm. But she knows she can talk me and she has usborne book. DS is slightly better but I think that's just because he likes saying Pyoooooo burty.

As I don't get any bathroom privacy here, I talk to all three of my DC (DS 10, DD8 and DD6) about periods and sanitary towels/ tampons etc.

But at the girls ages, I tend to just answer the "why are you bleeding?" type questions as they occur. They have started taking about it between themselves now and answering each others questions.

I don't remember my DM talking to me and but I do remember how embarrassed I felt as I was one of the first of my group of friends to start, so I would rather my girls (and boy) know that periods are a fact of life which all women go through, nothing to be ashamed of.

I tell my DD(2) and DS(4) that I have my period when they ask (come with me to the loo) quite matter of factly. I intend to continue as I have and with any luck neither my son nor daughter will have any problems with the idea that half the population has/had/will have periods.

Incidentally, my first tampon was from you guys! I ordered a sample from a magazine. Very cloak and dagger for me! I found it hard to use without an applicator at the time, but later that wasn't a problem.