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MNHQ

Share your funny stories of teaching your DCs something with Hotel Transylvania 2 - £300 voucher to be won!

137 replies

MichelleMumsnet · 23/09/2015 09:48

Hotel Transylvania 2 have asked us to find out what stories Mumsnetters have about moments when teaching your DCs maybe haven’t quite worked out as planned…

In Hotel Transylvania 2, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while his mother Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. As Mumsnetters well know, teaching your children to do something isn’t always as simple as it seems….!

You can watch the trailer below.

So, have you got any funny stories of when you were trying to teach your DC something? Maybe you were trying to teach your child to read and they came out with some inappropriate interpretation of a word? Or perhaps you were teaching your child to cook when they decided that the cake batter would work better as a face mask? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear your funny stories about teaching your DCs something.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 John Lewis voucher! Runners up can also win 1 of 2 exclusive Hotel Transylvania 2 goody bags!

#HotelT2 is At Cinemas October 16 in 3D.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

OP posts:
rbrown · 05/10/2015 18:38

My hubby is a vicar - and we always start each meal with a grace.

We had people coming for dinner, and I was super stressed and busy as i made the food and prepared for guests.

When we finally sat down with our friends, my husband said to my 8 year old daughter - whom he was trying to encourage with this family tradition - 'would you like to say grace - maybe something about having our special friends for dinner?'

My gorgeous daughter was happy to, and promptly began.

"Dear God. Mummy said she really wishes we weren't having people round for dinner...."

Thank goodness our visitors saw the funny side.. but it reminds me that children don't miss a single thing....

Kangakate · 05/10/2015 20:14

We were teaching our DC about manners and to always say please & thank-you, we then moved on to safety and strangers, looking back maybe we should have left more time between the two, as when we question our DC on what to do if a stranger offer her sweets, she replied "Thank -you"

Gill81uk · 05/10/2015 21:24

While potty training my then 2 (now just 3) year old daughter, I told her that poos get flushed down the toilet to a lovely place called Poo Land (in a bid to encourage her to get them out) Today she was asking about babies in a tummy and how they get out. I explained it was a special hole near the mummys bottom. She said "is it the bum hole? You sit on the toilet and then flush them down to pooland" Erm no not quite!

lindat4683 · 05/10/2015 21:26

taught my DCS to be kind,
to clean up and keep it in mind,
always to give respect,
to the house so I didn't need to inspect

HelenF35 · 05/10/2015 21:44

I've been teaching my son to help when I'm changing his nappy. We always say 'feet please' and he will lift his feet and pull them out of his sleep suit. We also say 'bum up' when we lift him to put the nappy on. He now lifts his bum as soon as I say it. It's very cute, he's 13 weeks.

manfalou · 05/10/2015 22:05

Trying to teacher our son (5) that toys etc cost money and people have to work hard to buy those nice things.

I asked him if we should count the pennies in his money box and put them in the bank to save for a GIANT toy (of course we never take his piggy bank money off him) and he said 'No mummy, I need to leave the pennies for Santa so he'll bring me lots of presents.. Ive worked very hard and been very good for those pennies so I'll need to pay Santa so I get even more Toys'

hmm... Not Quite what I was getting at. I really hope he doesn't go around telling people Santa takes the pennies out of his money box

sweetnuttydogs · 05/10/2015 22:56

teaching my daughters how to brush their own hair has become a battle in its self, we have had brushes stuck in hair. Knots upon knots, hairbands snapping and pinging us.

Tucktalking · 06/10/2015 11:09

As I have just started being religious I thought I will start early with my son. We are Sikh and our main prayer states the qualities of God which I explained to my son. Since that day - I have faced a hoard of questions which I have never heard others ask or ever bothered to ask my own parents. Are kids born with an extra brain these days or what!!
So where does God live ? Is it in the temple. I explained that he does not need a building as he is so big that he is everywhere. It was hard for him to imagine that. The next question was what he does all day ? What happens in heaven where he resides ? Well I told him there are praises being sung to him all the time. Where does he sleep ? He does not need a bed as he does not sleep. What does he eat ? He needs no food as he does not get hungry.
We finally told him that he is like the air so we cannot see him. So the question was is he in this ball because there is air in the ball. When he blew a pump on my face - I said no to him it irritates me - He said don't worry its just God coming on to your face.
Can God die? No he can't. But what would happen if he did? came the question. What if someone came with a really sharp knife and killed him. Well we said that's just not possible because remember he is just like the air.
So they have this topic where they are discussing themselves as babies. He asked me how God made the first man. Well I explained dust was used and breathe infused. So how did the first baby on earth survive? Well why are we all born as babies while Adam was created a grown up being. Never thought of that and never heard anyone ever question that. (I am still trying to look for a logical explanation)
Recently there was a video stating that we need to fear God. I wanted to watch it and I just mentioned to my son that the video is about our fear for God. So after a while he had finally figured out that God has really sharp teeth which we better be scared of or else we will get eaten.
What will be coming next now? However I am enjoying it.

PhilTB54 · 06/10/2015 11:39

Trying to teach my partners kids to spell and using a spelling computer from a well known toy shop. I was terrible. Now I leave them to it.

emily13 · 06/10/2015 11:41

After several embarrassing comments, a little chat was had about being polite. It wasn't polite to point and shout 'fatty' at someone etc! It did sink in, next time we saw an overweight person it changed to 'fatty please thank you"

feeona123 · 06/10/2015 13:45

I was reading my little girl a book about peppa pig, its not something we watched on the TV so thought it would be nice for a change. Oh no! She has become Peppa obsessed! She's only 18 months and doesn't say many words but she comes home from nursery and should 'PEPPA, PEPPA'!!

embabes7 · 06/10/2015 14:48

We're still going through potty training - my son picked his potty up and we'd on the floor where it was! Amazing! My teaching skills weren't the best that day!

grannybiker · 06/10/2015 15:55

I think 2 year old Celeste had grasped the social niceties..
"Not say 'God's sake' at great-granny, great granny not like it!"
"Good idea"
"Not say f**ks sake either"
"Good gracious no, that's definitely not allowed."
"Daddy dos!"

mumpetuk1 · 06/10/2015 19:18

Was teaching my daughter about elephants, where they live, what they eat, how old long they can live and about when they are pregnant. I explained to my daughter that elephants are pregnant for nearly 2 years... my daughter looked puzzled and asked me "so does that mean that when the baby elephant is born it is 2 years old?" I nearly choked on my tea... thankfully she asked me and not her teacher!

cheryl100 · 06/10/2015 19:28

I stress every week when trying to help my son do his homework....despite me having a masters degree I struggle with my 9 year old's work regularly! I have to secretly google the answers (ie nouns - forgot what they are it just comes naturally now!) without him seeing!

tab1967 · 06/10/2015 20:51

Teaching my grandchildren manners, we were out to dinner one day when my youngest shouted out at the top of his voice, I farted pardon me. And because people laughed he did it all the more.

Compermo · 06/10/2015 20:58

When Aimee was potty training, she very nicely did a little wee for us, and received due praise. Then she stood up and turned round to the potty, and said 'Now wash hands', and we only just managed to stop her from dipping her hands into the potty for a wash!

SirNiallDementia · 06/10/2015 21:01

I regret teaching DS1 to use a toilet.

I found him sitting on one of the display toilets in B&Q doing a poo.

...........and those display toilets ain't plumbed in.

robyn297 · 06/10/2015 21:05

I taught my son to say brioche from a very young age, I thought it would be cute, my daughter picked it up from my son and whenever we are in the bakery aisle now they ask for brioche. I sometimes feel like I belong on "overheard in waitrose"

FUZZ62 · 06/10/2015 21:23

Teaching my (letting my DC help) paint walls with a roller, he was doing great, no drips or spills and wanted to paint all the wall himself, when he couldnt reach over his head he decided to stand on the paint 10l tub, well as the white paint didnt have a lid on his foot/leg went into the paint before i could stop him ... well as well as a fresh coat of paint i needed a fresh carpet!

sjl19 · 07/10/2015 08:44

I'm trying to teach my son to pronounce his words at the moment, instead of saying Hello Kitty he pronounces Kitty with a T! Very embarrassing when out in a shop and he sees something with Hello Kitty on and shouts Hello T1tty!!

cathyov · 07/10/2015 08:54

Trying to teach DD when putting flowers on grandparents plot in crematorium. I attempted to explain as I was cleaning around the plot, wearing my faithful marigold gloves (as there was lots of slugs around) that they were not really there anymore. I said it was a bit like mummy with her glove (taking one off) mummy's hand is not there any more but the glove is left. DD seemed quite happy with this explanation and skipped off happily saying she was going to look for more yellow gloves!

mummabluberry · 07/10/2015 09:21

I'll never forget when my daughter, (at aged 4) was struggling to put her tights on without help and after getting into an almighty tangle......she yelled....' Why can't I have those knickers like you've got with straps that go down to your socks !!!!!!!'

GeorgeW78 · 07/10/2015 11:34

Taught DD to wake up with the alarm & get dressed but didn't count on that happening at 11pm when I was setting our alarm & it accidentally went off! It was winter so the fact it was dark didn't alert her to the problem. The first I knew of it was her standing at the foot of our bed wondering why we hadn't got up with the alarm! I was half asleep and she was wide awake, fully dressed & raring to go!

mamof3boys · 07/10/2015 13:11

I was discussing evolution with my children who were then 7 and 6. I was carefully explaining how we had evolved over the years but it was very difficult to explain in language that they would understand. It resulted in them thinking that we are monkeys! I think I'll just buy a book next time.