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MNHQ

Share your funny stories of teaching your DCs something with Hotel Transylvania 2 - £300 voucher to be won!

137 replies

MichelleMumsnet · 23/09/2015 09:48

Hotel Transylvania 2 have asked us to find out what stories Mumsnetters have about moments when teaching your DCs maybe haven’t quite worked out as planned…

In Hotel Transylvania 2, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while his mother Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. As Mumsnetters well know, teaching your children to do something isn’t always as simple as it seems….!

You can watch the trailer below.

So, have you got any funny stories of when you were trying to teach your DC something? Maybe you were trying to teach your child to read and they came out with some inappropriate interpretation of a word? Or perhaps you were teaching your child to cook when they decided that the cake batter would work better as a face mask? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear your funny stories about teaching your DCs something.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 John Lewis voucher! Runners up can also win 1 of 2 exclusive Hotel Transylvania 2 goody bags!

#HotelT2 is At Cinemas October 16 in 3D.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

OP posts:
Hannahchalke · 30/09/2015 21:23

Trying to explain to my son all about money and bills. He wanted a toy and I said he couldn't as we need to save money for Christmas. So he said "oh, OK mummy. Just use your card". Don't think I explained it very well!

sofieellis · 01/10/2015 11:03

Teaching my twins to walk was fun. I used to take them out on harnesses and end being pulled in half or tied up in knots! The neighbours always found it hilarious! :D

supermariossister · 01/10/2015 11:43

I have tried to teach ds that we dont always repeat the things we might hear and he wasnt so good at it - he knew that we had bought his dad an xbox for christmas that year and wanted to tell him but had promised not too. So he told him we had got him a playstation to "throw him off the trail"

I could see his logic but all it did was confirm to his dad what we had actually bought him as he knew i wouldnt of bought a playstation

angiehoggett · 01/10/2015 12:37

trying to teach my daughter the word buttercup, she keeps saying butterkins but it's so cute I don't have the heart to correct her all the time!

Lorn26 · 01/10/2015 17:37

My little boy likes to tell everyone he ever sees smoking about how they will have black insides and get very poorly. Funny how not everyone seems to appreciate being told this...

ButterflyOfFreedom · 01/10/2015 21:45

Teaching my DS (2) nursery rhymes has resulted in some classic 'rewording' including:

"Mary, Mary, Cat and Fairy, how does your garden grow..."

"Oh the dand dold Duke of Dork..."

"Little Miss Muffett sat on a toffee eating a milky way..."

Takora · 02/10/2015 00:14

So, over dinner our 5 year old had been asking why my husband and I drink lactofree milk and seemed quite interested in the differences between his milk and ours. That evening, about 30 minutes after we had put him to bed (and he had fallen asleep), we heard him calling for us. He had a bit of heat rash on his tummy, so I went to get a cream that I use. In his half-asleep state, he squinted at me with a cheeky look in his eye and said "Is the cream lactofree?"

Nelc3 · 02/10/2015 10:09

Trying to teach our 4 and 6 year olds about discipline and listening to instructions.

We have pet names for people and body parts. We call the boys' front private parts "tuloos". It means penis in someone's language (not sure whose though!).
When the boys were playing up and not listening when it was time to go to bed and do the bedtime routine my husband was getting quite frustrated with them. I could hear him having to tell them a number of times to do their night time pee, hold their "tuloos" properly, etc etc.
When he eventually got them in their bunk beds, he had to give them "the talk".
He said, "if you two continue to ignore us when we are giving you instructions then there will be consequences to your behaviour". The boys were listening intently. He continued and said, "remember when you don't listen we can start taking things away from you, like the tv. Remember, if you don't listen, you have more to lose".

Our eldest son lifted up his duvet and looked down his pants and said, "Wow I have more "tuloos"? Where?"
My husband couldn't stay mad at them after that and it turned into the joke of the week!

moopymoodle · 02/10/2015 17:09

Only last week I asked my three year old to go make a start cleaning his teeth whiles I got his PJS out. As expected 20 seconds later he appeared saying all clean, so I then sent him back and declared he should clean his gnashers. He then started running about hysterically looking for said gnashers! He was convinced father Christmas brought him some false teeth in his Christmas stocking, not sure If he dreamt it but did make me LOL.

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble · 02/10/2015 19:55

I spent ages with my 4 year old icing a birthday cake, we had fondant icing on loads of colours, we were making shapes and adding them on, we had a great afternoon and ended up covered in icing sugar.

Then when we went to serve the cake she pipes up "but Mummy, are you going to tell everyone it's made from play dough!" Baking lesson fail!

KittyKat88 · 02/10/2015 20:56

I really wanted to get my DDs involved in the garden - I thought tomatoes would be a good starting point. Sadly despite telling them to leave the tomatoes until they were a juicy red, they couldn't resist picking them all off when they were green. They just wouldn't wait Hmm

rainbowvalley · 02/10/2015 21:52

Teaching them the left shoe from the right with a marker pen but it didn't work because then, they didn't know their left from their right!

DrSausagedog · 03/10/2015 07:46

Teaching DD to use a knife at the dinner table is proving hard work. I've caught her putting it in her mouth several times. I don't think she's quite ready for one but taking it away now would cause WW3.

Prettyinblue · 03/10/2015 09:05

I want spent about half an hour teaching my six year old some of the basic facts of life when we got to supermarket nice that they picked up some eggs with the most perturbed look on his face. I was one of these he said

Dolallytats · 03/10/2015 09:15

Trying to teach my then 2 year old, now 23year old DD, to say dog properly. She called dogs 'goggums'. I would say 'It's D-D-D-D-Doggy' and she would say 'D-D-D-D Goggum'!!

Makes me smile still...

VoodooLooloo · 03/10/2015 09:43

Teaching my three year old to tell the truth came back to bite us on the bum when MIL asked if she liked her new (very short) hair cut.
Three year old replied that she didn't like it and MIL looked like an egg!
( to be fair she wasn't far wrong!)

Eva50 · 03/10/2015 18:40

After having the 'stranger danger' talk with ds1 he would tell everyone who even glanced in his direction 'I'm not allowed to talk to you". I reviewed my talk for his brothers.

lucyrobinson · 04/10/2015 08:14

I've spend ages trying to teach my kiddies to wash their hands before eating etc. Not going too well. They think swiping their hands through the water constitutes washing their hands. Not a bit of soap in sight. x

happysouls · 04/10/2015 10:37

My son couldn't wait to learn to drive but sadly was thwarted by his teenage attitude. In order to learn the highway code he slumped in a chair sighing, rolling his eyes and groaning while I tested him repeatedly. I ended up learning it so well I was completely up to date again! He failed the first test. He couldn't even sit the second test because he couldn't find his driving licence on the day. Third time lucky. Several years down the line its funny looking back, but at the time it was so frustrating I got excema from the stress!

BeeMyBaby · 04/10/2015 12:27

Trying to teach DD2 (3yo) about children less fortunate than her. DH comes from a majority world country and she recently lost her Anna doll when she was visiting our in laws. I tried to explain that other children there aren't as lucky as her and don't have as many toys so whoever found Anna will give her lots of love as they probably don't have nice toys like that. Her reply was that she still wanted it back and she didn't like whichever little girl had found it. And she cried for about 5 minutes. So that was a complete fail.

Lydia30 · 04/10/2015 16:15

My then 5 year old reading the newsletter coming out of school, she was still having problems with some sounds. I could have swore she said it was an incest day on Friday and looking at the faces of some people stood near us they did as well.

It was an inset day in case you are wondering

Unsurechicken · 05/10/2015 00:46

I have been trying to teach my 15 month old to use a fork all going well except we were in a cafe for lunch with friends ruby picks up my friends fork with their egg on it she puts it in her mouth decided she didn't like that particular bit of egg spits it out and puts it right back on my friends plate. Caring is sharing right?!

cluckyhen · 05/10/2015 09:33

AS a forces family we spent 5 years in Germany with our 2 very young children. On our return to the UK my son wandered off from school. As we raced to school they had sent a search party out for him.

He had wandered down the main road where a policeman had stopped him and asked him if he was lost. My son replied that you don't talk to strangers. The policeman replied with 'but I'm a policeman, you can talk to me and I can get you back to your mummy' My DS quick as sticks said 'you are NOT a policeman, policeman where Green'....luckily the school caretaker found them - but it did teach me a valuable lesson as my DS was indeed right - he only knew the Polizei - who all wore green!

sarah3875 · 05/10/2015 11:47

I always said I want my boys to grow up with the know how of DIY and general house keeping as my husband is so bad!! Believe it or not my darling Dad taught my children how to make a fire with a magnifying glass. Apparently teaching them to be men!!

helly27 · 05/10/2015 14:59

have taught all my children to eat properly and at first school it was fine as the dinner ladies help cut it up, but at middle school they lost all their table manners and just used a fork to stab and bite like everybody else, they have now got them back again my being able to use a knife themselves