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MNHQ

Tell EE how you teach your children to share – you could win an (unlocked) HTC One handset worth £490! NOW CLOSED

136 replies

KatieBMumsnet · 16/09/2013 13:50

The folks at EE would like to know how Mumsnetters teach their DCs to share.

Here's what EE have to say "We're the UK's biggest mobile network and we've just created Shared #4GEE Plans. They're a new way for your household to save money while getting the fastest mobile internet experience on your phones, tablets and laptops.

A Shared 4GEE Plan allows your whole family to enjoy the fastest speeds on EE's 4G network. It works by letting you share your data allowance across a number of devices, with everyone enjoying unlimited minutes and unlimited texts too. Even better, it's less money than having everyone on separate mobile contracts.

Shared 4G Plans are unique to EE and we wanted to celebrate their launch by asking you how sharing fits into your busy life."

So,
~ What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends? Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour? Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them? What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?
~ How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

Whatever your experiences please do share on this thread (no pun intended Wink).

Everyone who adds their thoughts and comments to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win an (unlocked) HTC One handset (worth up to £490!). For full T&Cs please click here.

Please note your comments may be used (anonymously of course) on EE's pages on MN, social media channels and possibly elsewhere.

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

OP posts:
Sheshelob · 20/09/2013 22:47

I'd quite like EE to tell me why my phone signal has been so very terrible all day.

maximum4 · 20/09/2013 23:00

A bit of good old fashioned 'Role Modeling' we always share clothing, games, books, food, love....we discuss being kind & generous & why it is a positive attribute - largely all 4 share freely.

Preciousbane · 20/09/2013 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackberrySeason · 20/09/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kelzw84 · 21/09/2013 00:10

I have always tried to explain in a way they can understand why the have to share.
if an argument or disagreement over sharing something happens i then sit down and explain that if their not willing to share then why should the other one have to share their toys.
another thing i do is buy bits that are for sharing.
they have baking equitment they share which i use with them both together but also seperatly and we also have a kurio they share. they each get 30mins each on it alone then 30mins together.
i also let them share my phone as i have apps on it i have downloaded for them and allow them 15mins each on it

Cherrygrape · 21/09/2013 07:14

We have always shared our snacks with dd, and asked her to share with others, which she was always been good at. She now offers us crisps and other foods when she has some. She just doesn't like sharing my phone when peppa pig is on it.... I need to work on that!

acrabadabra · 21/09/2013 08:55

The oldest didn't have a long 'mine' phase so that was a blessing.

We definitely take turns though. Oldest (3) always wants what the youngest (2) has so we just persist with explaining she'll get bored in a minute or tell him to ask her nicely for a shot. Amazingly this has worked well.

We share as a family too. Due to money issues we often take picnic lunches out. We have lots of little dishes of different things which everyone knows are for sharing. If we have problems with one wanting more than their fair share we ask them to hand them round and then they can have whats left or tell them to share them out.

Seems to be working.

lottytheladybird · 21/09/2013 09:17

DS1 is 3 and DS2 is 1, so they're a bit young to fully understand the concept. I generally say to them to 'play together' rather than to share. They get on quite well and DS1 quite likes to give toys to his little brother.

JudasGaga · 21/09/2013 09:30

You need to explain to the child what is right and wrong and where the boundries are so they can respect their own and others property, personal selves and toys that they my choose to share in the play time. They need to be shown this and how to play fairly and treat all property toys etc with due care and respect. They need to be shown how to be patient with other children, explaining to the child that everyone is different and has varying needs and wants when in a group situation, some may have special needs or disablilities and children need to be made aware of those things as well. This way they play fair and treat other children with due care and put some thought into what they are doing. Best shown by personal example when with your child act appropriately.

GaryBuseysTeeth · 21/09/2013 09:42

We share most things, we're hoping ds1 & 2 will just folliw from our example and not need to learn.

They're 21months & 7weeks and they already share the 'keeping parents up all night' responsibilty. Naturals!

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 21/09/2013 09:53

We've been playing a lot of games lately that involve taking turns. We took DD bowling, which she loved. Also games like dominos and made up games at home.

heavenlyharry · 21/09/2013 10:32

I think that one of the best ways to teach children to share is setting good examples. Letting them see you take turns, sharing things and behaving in a way that you expect them to behave.
After that games which take turns. Sharing food, so if you give them a treat, make sure its shared between siblings. Rewarding good behaviour too

Babycarmen · 21/09/2013 14:59

Sharing is an extremely difficult thing for young children to understand. My eldest DD (6) still struggles sharing with her sister (1) sometimes! I think the best thing to do is sit them down and explain why sharing is important and ask them to think of the situation if it was the other way round.
I think its also important to let them have joint toys/gifts with siblings but also that they get something that is JUST for them that they dont have to share so they still feel important and special.

AllSWornOut · 21/09/2013 16:11

I encourage DCs to share by talking them through their emotional responses and setting time limits. I don't really use the word share, more concentrate on taking turns. I also make sure they know that they are allowed to have things that they don't have to share if they don't want, specifically precious toys/belongings. I think this helps them share things more generally if they know that if something is particularly dear to them they are allowed to say no.

Midwifeandmum · 21/09/2013 18:24

I teach my 2 dds to share pretty easily. If one wont share then the toy etc is taking away from the person not sharing. Pretty old fashioned i know, but this how my mum dealt with my self and my siblings and it worked great xx

PollyPlummer · 21/09/2013 19:52

Grin the only things my dts share have been my womb and a birthday.
I leave them to it a lot, some may call it benign neglect, I call it promoting conflict resolution.
While I encourage dts to take turns rather than focussing on sharing, I think it really is just something they will learn in their own time, after all I know some adults who don't like to share.

ThePortlyPinUp · 21/09/2013 20:23

I have 4dd's 3 of whom share beautifully, dd2 however likes to share the other girls things but isn't so quick to want to share her own! We have always just insisted on sharing as it's a nice polite thing to do, I think it's just basic manners and so we have taught them as such. DD2 will get there in the end Grin

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 22/09/2013 06:18

I'm starting to wonder if we might have overdone it with making a point of 'sharing' everything we possibly can with DD1 to try and set a good example. Every time I mention that it's someone's birthday lately, she tells me she's going to share their birthday with them. I think she's after cake.

DoctorGilbertson · 22/09/2013 07:32

Actually at the moment we are working on not screaming. Lots of "that's not how you ask/talk" etc. The hope (ha ha!) is that arguments over sharing (among other fights) will be quieter if nothing else.

supermariossister · 22/09/2013 07:35

Grin sounds like an excellent way to ensure maximum birthday cakeGrin after reading a lot more of the replies I think it is striking a balance between learning that sharing is nice for everyone but you don't always have to do it! my 3 love minecraft at the minute but we only have one tablet, there is an app for my phone so they can join each other and play multiplayer. sometimes I let them have my phone, other times I am using it.

FannyPriceless · 22/09/2013 10:59

We have a lot of the "she won't let me hold it!" "I had it first!" going on at the moment. I appeal to their "is that nice?" instincts and diffuse the situation by showing how one can have it, then then can nicely give it to the other. They do want to be nice to each other, they just forget.

Elainey1609 · 22/09/2013 17:38

We just always played together and made sure we mentioned sharing and actively did it with them
Lead by example being a main aspect of the teaching
We regularly praise sharing as a positive thing.
We use a timer as a visual aid for electronics or things there are normally arguments over for example
The tablet.

PinglePongle · 22/09/2013 17:42

We focus on the positives of sharing and try to show that children can have more fun playing with a sibling than by their selves. Parents joining in with the playing helps them realise that we can all get along, share and enjoy things as a family.

LentilAsAnything · 23/09/2013 09:38

This is pretty much my approach: www.heathershumaker.com/blog/2013/09/13/throw-away-your-timer-why-kids-learn-more-when-they-dont-share/

Lent1l · 23/09/2013 11:18

I have one DD 18 months old and so far she has always been naturally sharing. She'll share food with any of the family, and when she has toys around other children she will often offer them before she is asked. Long may this last although have been reading all the comments for ideas of how to handle it when it if it doesn't continue!

Having said that, she doesn't seem to like it when you break things to share with her, sharing has to come from her side!!!